Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Ok so I went shopping today

Posted by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 5:23 PM
  • 9 Replies
  • 209 Total Views
As Salamu Alaikum Sisters and friends...

So I went shopping today for baby items.  i'm trying to prepare for the birth of the baby Insha Allah.

I was with a sister and i was on my liittle shopping spree happy as a New Muslim taking shahada when i recieved a call from another sister and i told her what i was doing.  She told me i shouldn't shop for the baby because i was taking action upon an anticipation that hasn't occurred yet... sigh.....just blew up my little happy bubble.  MY response to her was that If Allah so willed to have me miscarriage or give me a still born baby or an unhealthy baby that It is ordained and nothing I could do about it but that I didn't mind buying things anyway and that i knew that if something like that happened i could give the things away in charity to other muslim sisters.. There isn't a shortage of pregnant sisters around me.  And i'm satisfied knowing i have that option and my heart is ok with it. Because I know Allah is in control.

Now i want to know.. what do you think about this subject.  If anyone has any proofs regarding not preparing for the birth of a child or ahadiths or any opinions of those who are knowledgeable.. Please write them to me. 

May Allah reward you All.
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 5:23 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-9):
rae_nad
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 7:17 PM
I feel as you feel about the subject, but I also went to www.searchtruth.com to see what I could find out about the subject in the Quran. You just type in keys words and it brings up surahs containing that word or subject. You can also try www.islamicfinder.org/quran/quran.php . Anyway I did not find anything that was against preparing for a baby's arrival. But you could try the website too, because I did not have enough time to really keep delving into it. You can also search Hadith at those website too.
kimsarr
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 10:48 PM


Salam Alaykoum! just from my hart... I got preg and was not happy about it and lost the baby I never pland for the baby then 3 months lator I got preg with Sarah I had every unisex thing I needed in the first tri she came... I got preg with a baby I hide I lost that one too 8 days lator (based on the u/s ) I was preg with Omar agin I bought every thing I had not saved... he is here... In my mined I have to show I am ready and truly want my baby to keep my baby... I know this is all in my head...
practicingislam
by on Aug. 1, 2007 at 12:33 AM
wa'alaykum asalam rahmatullah wa barakatuh sister i think it is tradition only i found a few sisters the same way, but i have never read it in sahih muslim and i read the entire 8 books alhamdulillah with Allahs mercy and i havent seen it in the Qur'an maybe ask the sister where u can find the information regarding this........may Allah bring your pregnancy to full term ameen!!!!!!!!! funny story here i was soooooooooooooooooooooo excited with my first although i was sick all the time i lost 56 pounds and my second 44 pounds i was sooooooooo excited that my best friend gave me a baby shower at 7 months LOL talk about early planning and i drove my self crazy looking at the baby stuff everyday thinking how will the baby look in it the delivery couldnt come fast enough LOL LOL LOL
patientmama
by on Aug. 1, 2007 at 4:06 AM
Please Sisters correct me if I'm wrong.  I have never found anything either so Shop away Sister.  My Husband and his family are the same way as your friend not only with babies but with other "good" things that Allah has willed.  If we don't tell anyone then it's as if no one can give us a bad eye.  I sometimes feel this way but believe it is wrong to feel this way.  If Allah Wills it, then it will Be!! 

I didn't shop for my first born until the last month, didn't know the sex and wanted it to be a surprise.  Guess what, he almost didn't make it and when he did come home from the NICU, I wasn't ready!!  So be prepared Sister, you want to spend time with your baby when he/she arrives Inshallah -not spend your time shopping or preparing the house.   : )

On an ending note, I never tell anyone I am pregnant until I am past 12 weeks since that is usually the most riskful time for miscarrages.  Not because I think someone will give me a bad eye, but that way yallahtef, God Forbid then I wouldn't have to tell everyone I lost a baby.

Peace and may Allah Keep you and your baby in good health
MuslimMomof3
by on Aug. 1, 2007 at 9:16 AM
As Salamu Alaikum,

You my Grandmother believes the same thing, she even thinks the baby shower should be after the baby is born, because you never know what's going to happy.   I asked around of some sisters more knowledeable than me, and they never heard of not buying a baby anything before it's born either.  I think that is a personal preference.  I do know that when a baby it born it is Sunnah to have an Aqiqa and to shave the baby's head.
Aasiyah
by on Aug. 1, 2007 at 9:45 AM

Quoting MuslimMomof3:

As Salamu Alaikum,

You my Grandmother believes the same thing, she even thinks the baby shower should be after the baby is born, because you never know what's going to happy.   I asked around of some sisters more knowledeable than me, and they never heard of not buying a baby anything before it's born either.  I think that is a personal preference.  I do know that when a baby it born it is Sunnah to have an Aqiqa and to shave the baby's head.


I don't believe an ahadith exist regarding this.  I'm going to ask her to show me proof for what she is saying.  Because i ran this subject by my husband who has been muslim for 27 years and is a researcher and he is firm on islam, the Quran and the Sunnah and he said he's never heard that before and that while she may believe that perhaps it's that she feels because the actual birth and viablility of the baby has not been seen and we don't know what Allah is going to will for the baby that we shouldn't act as though the baby is going to be born and or healthy.

My husband gave me some good examples.  He said... When poeple want to go to Hajj,... they make the intent, the pick the days they will be away.. in advance most of the time because they have to gather the cash to pay for the trip and they basically start preparing for the trip long before it's time comes. Because you anticipate its going to happen and you work towards it.  If it happens Alhamdulliah.. if it doesn't happen Alhamdulliah..

He said he believes it to be the same concept... YOu know that what Allah wills will come to pass however you go on what you believe is going to happen in this situation and you act acordingly. He said he believes as Mom  said that it's just her own personal choice.

Im ok with personal choices.  because Allah gave us free will.. however, she made me feel as if i were going against Allah and or his messenger somehow... and that I am firm on. So i'm going to ask her for the proof. I just wanted to get a sense of your experiences and double check. so that I am informed well when i ask her.

Thank you ladies..

proud2bmom3 Group Owner
by on Aug. 1, 2007 at 9:59 AM
assalamu alaikum sister.. welcome to the fold of Islam masha' Allah. and congratulations on your pregnancy.. may Allah grant you a safe delivery and a healthy baby that will grow to be a good Muslim insha' Allah..

I have to admit that I am the type of person that likes the baby shower after the baby is born.. I do prepare the essentials before the baby comes, like some clothes ( unisex- white, yellow, green) the crib, the stroller, diapers...etc. we as Muslims should always be prepared . you can't just wait for the baby to come and then start wishing you got this or that while the baby has no diapers or clothes..
however.. as I said before.. I am among the people who like the baby showers after the baby comes.. and even if I were invited to a baby shower. I prefer to get the  gift for the mother, and when she has the baby, I go to the hospital and get the baby a gift. unless she has a registry somewhere, then I participate in the payment of an essential ( crib..etc)

my father is an OB/Gyn, and he always discouraged his patients from going over board preparing for the baby, because you never know, and he, being a doctor, sees a lot of pain and tragidies,  ..
as far as a Hadith or a verse from the Quran about the subject.. I honestly have not come across any.. but that does not mean that there isn't anything about this in Sharia.. I will try and research it for you insha' Allah once I get settled and have some more time on line..

congratulations again.. May Allah grant you joy, health, and happiness for you and your family. Ameen.

l leave you in the trusted care of Allah
love and salaam
Aasiyah
by on Aug. 1, 2007 at 10:13 AM

Quoting proud2bmom3:

assalamu alaikum sister.. welcome to the fold of Islam masha' Allah. and congratulations on your pregnancy.. may Allah grant you a safe delivery and a healthy baby that will grow to be a good Muslim insha' Allah..

I have to admit that I am the type of person that likes the baby shower after the baby is born.. I do prepare the essentials before the baby comes, like some clothes ( unisex- white, yellow, green) the crib, the stroller, diapers...etc. we as Muslims should always be prepared . you can't just wait for the baby to come and then start wishing you got this or that while the baby has no diapers or clothes..
however.. as I said before.. I am among the people who like the baby showers after the baby comes.. and even if I were invited to a baby shower. I prefer to get the  gift for the mother, and when she has the baby, I go to the hospital and get the baby a gift. unless she has a registry somewhere, then I participate in the payment of an essential ( crib..etc)

my father is an OB/Gyn, and he always discouraged his patients from going over board preparing for the baby, because you never know, and he, being a doctor, sees a lot of pain and tragidies,  ..
as far as a Hadith or a verse from the Quran about the subject.. I honestly have not come across any.. but that does not mean that there isn't anything about this in Sharia.. I will try and research it for you insha' Allah once I get settled and have some more time on line..

congratulations again.. May Allah grant you joy, health, and happiness for you and your family. Ameen.

l leave you in the trusted care of Allah
love and salaam
JazakAllah Khair  Sister Proud.  I don't believe in Baby showers before baby is born iether.  But i am like you. I like to prepare essentials.  And that's what I have been doing. 

I would appreciate any information from Sharia. However, I must say i'm very picky on who i take fatawas from. I am open to read them though. Please, if you send a fatawa of any kind please include names and where where you got the information from.  I'm of the firm believe that knowledge has to be sound and that all knowledge isn't sound.  :) 

I look forward to hearing from you again.  Insha Allah
Rakshanda
by on Aug. 1, 2007 at 10:46 AM
I tend to wait till the last trimester to buy anything. I wont even tlak about it the frist three months, those tend to be the toughest and most sensative.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)