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anonymous Question, is this considered an oath? ( Yameen, or Nathr- promise to Allah) should I do kaffaarah?

Posted by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 8:02 PM
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assalamu alaikum sisters,.

if I say that I will wear the hijab if my husband gets a new job. then he does, but I don't wear it. is that considered an oath? or Nathr? ( a promise to Allah) . so am I committing a sin by not fulfilling that promise ( if it is a promise) ? please help

Jazaakum  Allahu  khairan


an anonymous sister that needs your help.

by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 8:02 PM
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proud2bmom3 Group Owner
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 8:42 PM

assalamu alaikum sister,

if a muslim says for example, " if my husband gets better I will fast three days" then she has made a promise ( nathr) to Allah.

 Vows are mentioned in Quran and in Sunnah, and there are different types of vows, like those that are conditioned, those that are for extra worship...etc. however, I should mention that  Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him advised against making such promises. in the hadith narrated by ibn Umar: They do not change anything, they only make a stingy person give (in charity).” . Bukhari and Muslim .. .

if a person makes such a vow, then they are required to fulfill it. especially when it is in a worship. the scholars even agree that it is even more binding when it is an obligatory worship like Hijab.

to my limited knowledge, and from what I have read from the book Fiqh assunnah by assayyid saabiq that if a person backed out on, or could not fulfill , his vow then the kaffarah is the same as the kaffaarah of an oath ( yameen)  which is : 1 - either freeing a slave ( Not applicable this time and age) 2- if you cannot find a slave then you  clothe 10 poor people ( give them clothes) or feed ten needy people. if you cannot then you fast three days, and this is the lowest level)

( those are mentioned in Surat annahl ( the bee) no 94. insha' Allah I will get it for you later,

it is also worth mentioning that there is no vow in committing a sin. that does not count. and you should not give a kaffaarah. but in a worship.  you should fulfill it. unless there were extreme circumstances that prevented you then you should do the kaffaarah, and ask Allah for forgiveness.

I also want to re-emphasize the fact that you vowed to do a worship that is already an obligation.

many scholars view a person who backs out on a vow to Allah as a sinner , that any vow given in the sight of Allah should be fulfilled. so my advice to you sister,  fulfill your vow. insha' Allah. pray to Allah that you get the strength and courage to wear your hijab.

well, real life is calling. have to run. insha' Allah this was of benefit, I will try to find a relevant fatwa insha' Allah

Love and salaam (peace)

 (proud2bmom3 Muslim Moms-- Owner. 

Jadamay
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 11:15 PM

Lets see if I can help for once on here!  When I was pregnant with my daughter (she will be 3 in April Insha'Allah) I was really sick and they had found a lump in my  left breast.  Ofcourse we were all worried and that it was such a big deal.  I had to get a biopsy done, Mammograms and so forth.  I was about 7 months pregnant.  When the Dr. told me that if the results ends up being cancer, then they would have to take the baby out as soon as possible and I would have to get treated.  I was so  stressed about beyond my imagination and had made a promise to Allah that if everything ends up negative and benign  and the baby ends up healthy that I would start wearing hijab.  AlhamduAllah everything was fine and it was benign.  Well anyway I had my daughter and still no hijab.  I was so scared that something was going to happen to my daughter if I didn't wear it and always paranoid about things, having nightmares, etc.  And although I was dying to wear hijab and was always on my mind, sadly I didn't have the courage to wear it.  And kept making excuses.  So when my daughter was four months old, I had a very close friend that was getting married, and because my husband didn't know who she was, he didn't feel comfortable going and he wouldn't let me go by myself, and I was so devastated! (Corny I know!)  So a week before the wedding we brought the hijab, and he was telling I should just put it on and to stop making excuses.  So I gave myself a deadline and told my husband if he lets me go to my friend's wedding I will go inside with the hijab on and keep it on!  He was soooooooo happy that we both went!  lol.. Ok I know there's ABSOLUTELY no point to this story and probably not the best influential story! 

Here's my point and perhaps advice:  Give yourself a deadline and just put it on!  I honestly thought it was going to be so difficult but it really wasn't.  It was like putting on your shoes.  Now the shaitan might whisper in your ears and make u feel like having doubts once in a while especially at first and u might be tested for it, but it's really not that bad.  It's so easy.  As long as u pray and fight Shaitan, It becomes a part of u.  Take baby steps and just do it! 

And think about your kids.   Ofcourse Allah (SWT) comes first, but you did make Nithr, and it's not sometihng to be taken lightly.  Before I finally wore Hijab, u should have seen me  I was so paranoid and worried that Allah was going to punish me through my daughter somehow (God Forbid).  But AlhamduAllah I'm at peace now.. 

devotedwifemom
by on Jan. 22, 2009 at 11:08 AM

Sister, we can not negotiate the terms of our Islam with Allah.  Everything falls under the will of Allah including your husbands job.  Hijab is a form of worship.  If were not fullfilling our hijab as Muslim women then we are simply failing to perform that worship.  Our eeman will suffer as a result.

A companion of the Prophet, Umayr Bnu Habib said, “Iman increases and decreases. If we remember Allah, praise Him and glorify Him, that is how it increases, and if we forget and neglect, that is how it decreases.”

Also, consider that wearing your hijab should be for the good of your own salvation-not having anything to do with a job in this dunya.  Try viewing your hijab through a different lense.  Everyday Allah gives you the opportunity to worship Him in this way.  Everytime you wear hijab you practice obediance to the creator.  This will in turn fuel your eeman, insha'Allah. 

I removed my hijab for 3 weeks last year.  I was experiencing a great deal of Islamophobia and wanted relief.  But, whatever the reasons, my eeman was suffering because I was not obeying Allah. 

You have to ask Allah for His help and just do it sister.

dwm

 

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