I have 1 book & I am not all the way done reading it just yet. I do let my son make alot of choices, but he has a few issues that I am not sure that can be covered by choices.
1. Bedtime.. He fights it, he don't like being in his room, he comes to my room (sleeps on the floor) Have no clue how to get him in his own bed!!
2. doesn't listen to grandma. She lives with us
3. Doesn't want to clean up after himself. The toys are not a problem. I just ask him what happens if I pick up the toys & he tells me you will throw them away, so we're good there, just the things he doesn't want or things that he has used & messed up, clothes etc.
There are more things I just can't think of them right now.
I only have the 1 book & right now I am not sure how all of this works & don't want to spend 1000.00 buying books. Which is the best book.cd to get to help with these couple of issues?
1. Bedtime - I haven't had much experience in this area, but I think taking him back to his room is probably a good idea. I might also try offering up things such as, "Only kids who sleep in their own room get pancakes (or whatever your son views as a big treat) for breakfast." Then be sure and make that special breakfast the next day. If he stays in his room tell him how happy you are that he gets to eat it, and if he doesn't stay in his room you have to eat it and say how sad it is that he didn't sleep in his room because the pancakes are really delicious. I know some people don't like using food, but it is a currency of pretty high value with my kids, so it works pretty well for them.
2. Not listening to Grandma: First try getting Grandma on the same page, and help her learn better ways of phrasing things if that is an issue. If Grandma says something and your son ignores it, say, "Oh Buddy, it's sad you weren't listening to Grandma. You can go sit in your room for a bit and come back when you're ready to listen." Have Grandma repeat her request when he comes back. If he still doesn't listen then repeat the process, and if he does listen praise him for it.
3. Not picking up: If the things not being picked up are not wanted by your son, then losing them is not an effective consequence. Try finding something else for him to miss out on when he fails to pick things up. With my 4 year olds we do pick up about a half hour before bedtime, and if they don't do it they go to bed early. If they do pick up they get to stay up until bedtime and watch an episode of Team Umi Zoomi, or cuddle and read a book. When it's time to pick up we say, "Time to pick up. Only kids who pick up get to stay up and watch Umi Zoomi." If they don't start picking up, we say, "Oh it's sad you don't want to help pick up. You can go on to bed. Maybe tomorrow night you'll want to pick up."
I can't really recommend a particular book, but if you find an oportunity to take a class definitely do it. I've found several classes offered in our town by the local school district and local churches. GL!
I love the "energy drain" especially for a five year old. Check out http://www.loveandlogic.com/ they have some great articles...I am more of a video gal myself...lol
Sending him to his room...
How do you make him go?
How do I make him stay?
Did you check out the website...their is a technique called "Uh-Oh song"...it's a song that you sing to whisk your misbehaving child to their room...you will need to make sure all of your ducks are i a row before you implement this technique...I did have a post specifically for the technique. May have tosearch it out on here! Good luck!
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- skywatcher1973
on Sep. 29, 2011 at 3:48 PM