I posted awhile back about my son Kermit. He was in an out of district school due to budget cuts. Well he was finally moved back to our home district last week. I can't decide if he is having a rough transistion, if I made a huge mistake or if his teacher is a bitch. Forgive the language pls. Kermit has an IEP and a behavior plan. Last year he was physically attacking paras. He has thankfully stopped doing that. But this past Monday he got upset because his teacher was forcing him to take his service dog out to potty. Granted this would be awesome. But he has never been made to do this. We encourage it, but it's NEVER been forced. He melted down over this. That afternoon he melted down again because he thought I was picking him up. He was so upset that he beat his backpack on the sidewalk repeatedly. He ended up breaking the strap, and shattering his sandwich container in his lunch bag. The principal is awesome, and he ended up carrying Kermit onto the bus. On the bus Kermit shattered his glasses. Yesterday, his teacher said that he had threatened to slap her and that it was a terroristic threat. WTH?! Today I guess he was asked to clean up his art table. He started to, but the bell rang so he went to go home. The teacher made him stay to clean up the mess and he again melted down.
Don't get me wrong. The ideal child would do all this that she expects. This is not a regular ed teacher. She is a special ed teacher in the autism room. She expects him to act "normal" and he gets in trouble for not doing so. I am to the point of considering home schooling him. He would lose his socialization, but I am sure we could find a way to get that in to. There is a group call Kansas Connections that is a free online school that is K-12.
The teacher responded to my email with " The IEP team needs to meet, he is in transistion and it will take time. She refused to meet one on one with me. So I sent an email to the principal. He has worked with Kermit since we moved here. I am hoping he will be understanding and want to help. I am not feeling like the teacher gives a crap. He does not follow direction............duh. He does not stay on task............duh, he does not listen..............duh. HELLO he has autism, does that not mean anything to you? Seriously I want to slap the shit out of this woman!
Depending on how old your little man is , with Kyle when I transferred him into a new environment he did fine until something horriable happened to him then the bodily harm began , he started physically harming himself . I am saying this for the long haul looking into the future of what might happen to him how he will become more and more angery or self destructive if he is in a class room that isn't what he is in need of or is not meeting all of his needs' ..Sounds like to me the teacher has a low tolerance for autism has no concept of how to go about handling a child that has autism , Have you asked her how much experience she has with working with children on the spectrum ?? Each child has the right to a proper school setting suited to meet all your son's needs if not then yes the i.e.p team needs to be called in to find out what it is that is triggering him to act out ... Always a reason why are kiddo's start to get aggressive it is something in his surrounds that is not or they are not letting him be or act or even try to understand where he is in his world , what a hard job for anyone of are children is to be with teachers' aids , or any one else that is close to them to not understand just how vital it is to no exactly what you have to say how to say it what to do what causes' him to have meltdowns , what it is that makes him happy , not someone who has no clue trying to slice a piece of bread with a fork not going to work quit right , Not a good example but honey I feel you , been through this with my Kyle and after he was harmed in the one class room he just got worse and worse his fears' grew and grew they never did give me the one on one aid I had requested for him after he got hurt by another student , i changed schools Kyle my son did ok for a year then something triggered that fear he started physically harming himself to the degree i pulled him out of school , IT was now without a huge fight with Client Rights advocates who helped me to no how many wrights are children have , ALOT ........ The teacher should be following all the i.e.p properly she shouldn't upset him anyone that has a brain no you don't go and make a child with autism clean up after the bell rings or purposely upset him , NOT ON MY WATCH ANYWAYS , Not sure what else to say but , Kyle when he was 17 i pulled him out of school , at the time i thought it was the worst thing that could have every have happened but at the time he was physically harming himself to the degree i might as well been the one hitting him or beating him just to get him to school ...................... SEE here is where it lies' , Be careful about him becoming afraid of school or he will start to show problems at home with getting ready for school and not wanting to go .... I am so very sorry about your son , sorry i haven't been on here lately , i will be checking in on you ! maybe give it a little longer see what the i.e.p.s teams has to say , Let them no all about your conserns' and don't back down on letting them no what triggers' him to have a meltdown right down all of his strength and weakness' , what words you use what makes him happy what makes him upset lay it all on the table for the team ... I wil be here sure hope your little one is ok and or course YOU MOST OF ALL , BLESS YOUR HEART IT IS A HARD JOB FINDING THE RIGHT SCHOOL , IF it doesn't work then hey My Kyle is doing wonderful since he has been home , Never been this happy learning so many of life's skill's ... I do miss him getting out socially too so THINK ON THAT ONE TOO MAMA OK ... HUGS AND GOOD LUCK LET ME NO HOW THINGS GO .. BIG HUGS TO YOU AND YOUR LITTLE KERMIT P.s Right there when you said he is fine when he is home tells ya there is something that is not working well for him in the new class room .. Just finding out what it is and go from there ok .. call an i.e.p three or four of them if you have to until they understand exactly how to go about taking care of your son while he is in there care , Tell them they are setting him up for failure , not to succeed AWHH SWEETIE ... HUGS HONEY
Hope I made some sense , Maybe give it some time to get everyone on board with his new surroundings , always follow that gut instinct we mommas' have ok .. Your awesome there is no doubt what you do will be the right choice for your Kermit your a wonderful and caring loving mom , just with the world around us it takes longer for them to adjust to how to go about helping out your little one ... Best of luck sweetie ............. there not as much to read , keep it simple honey ........... As i had said it"s there job to follow your lead on what to do and how to go about working with your son ...... Don't be so hard on you your doing a WONDERFUL JOB ...... HARD DAYS HOPFULLY IT WILL ALL GET BETTER SOON ...... Let them no what you feel , as with the service dog tell them he is not used to that ok ....... His weakness's and strength what triggers' his behaviors and what helps to calm him is where i always would start first to let the teachers' aids all those that work with my son to no WORD FOR WORD ON how i say it to my son too l.o.l in a perfect world huh ? grr on the teacher i feel ya mama .......... hugs again ..
I told her he was not used to taking the dog out and that since it was new that could be why he was upset. She said it's his dog he needs to do it. I emailed her and told her I wanted to meet with her one on one without Kermit present. I told her I was concerned and frustrated and felt that some things needed to be changed to ensure Kermit's emotional and educational needs. I said in my email I was not mad. That I very much appreciated all she did for my son and the other boys in the class.
Quoting MommyJanice44:Hope I made some sense , Maybe give it some time to get everyone on board with his new surroundings , always follow that gut instinct we mommas' have ok .. Your awesome there is no doubt what you do will be the right choice for your Kermit your a wonderful and caring loving mom , just with the world around us it takes longer for them to adjust to how to go about helping out your little one ... Best of luck sweetie ............. there not as much to read , keep it simple honey ........... As i had said it"s there job to follow your lead on what to do and how to go about working with your son ...... Don't be so hard on you your doing a WONDERFUL JOB ...... HARD DAYS HOPFULLY IT WILL ALL GET BETTER SOON ...... Let them no what you feel , as with the service dog tell them he is not used to that ok ....... His weakness's and strength what triggers' his behaviors and what helps to calm him is where i always would start first to let the teachers' aids all those that work with my son to no WORD FOR WORD ON how i say it to my son too l.o.l in a perfect world huh ? grr on the teacher i feel ya mama .......... hugs again ..
It sounds like his teacher really doesn't know a lot about children with autism...seems like his teacher is pushing to hard, especially if he just started going to this school. I agree with Janice, scheduling an IEP with his teachers and setting down with them discussing what works for him, as well as what can trigger his melt downs will help them to understand how to work with him better. If this continues, and he remains unhappy, you may want to consider homeschooling. This year, I decided to home school my son Owen for many different reasons. He is non-verbal, needs a lot of care and help in many different areas, and I feel like he is much happier here at home. The social part is the hardest part...but, I have been taking him to a park close to us on the nice sunny days, and he has been playing and going down the slides with the other kids! :) Also, you can look up social groups that get together in your home state that homeschool. In the state we live in, there is a group I'm looking into for those social interaction times for my little guy. Hang in there momma, this stuff isn't easy...sending big hugs to you and your son!!!
That sad thing is this school is the one they moved him from last fall. So the school is one he is used to. The teacher is different. His IEP was done in October and they just transferred it. I am requesting a meeting with the teacher. If it does not go well, I am going to go to the principal and demand an IEP rewrite. I have a info book on homeschooling. It's an online curriclum that's free and k-12
It sounds like his teacher really doesn't know a lot about children with autism...seems like his teacher is pushing to hard, especially if he just started going to this school. I agree with Janice, scheduling an IEP with his teachers and setting down with them discussing what works for him, as well as what can trigger his melt downs will help them to understand how to work with him better. If this continues, and he remains unhappy, you may want to consider homeschooling. This year, I decided to home school my son Owen for many different reasons. He is non-verbal, needs a lot of care and help in many different areas, and I feel like he is much happier here at home. The social part is the hardest part...but, I have been taking him to a park close to us on the nice sunny days, and he has been playing and going down the slides with the other kids! :) Also, you can look up social groups that get together in your home state that homeschool. In the state we live in, there is a group I'm looking into for those social interaction times for my little guy. Hang in there momma, this stuff isn't easy...sending big hugs to you and your son!!!
Doesn't sound like you are going to be able to teach this teacher how to teach your son that has autism , That is my quote iv learned through out the years we moms have to teach the teachers' , some learn some just don't care , this women to me sounds like it's her way or the highway , i am so sorry your dealing with such ignorance when they should be able to no everything there is about how to help your son ............. Keep trying to let your voice be heard until you have done all you feel you can to help them understand what your son needs are if they do not get met then i would say give it a little more time , but the one that is suffering the most is your son whom once he gets' afraid of school a lot of the times it doesn't matter where he go's that fear will be instilled in him . That is my main concern for your little man right now ... It is still very early to tell in the regards to getting through some more i.e.p.s to try and help her to see if she is willing to work with your sons needs , it is by law that they do , every child has the right to a free and proper education remember that , they do not keep wanting to set your son up to fail , that is what they are doing , you my friend are doing a great job in being an ADVOCATE for you child ............ The squeaky wheel gets' the grease so let your voice be heard .......... if things don't change and if they are not willing to work on all levels of your son's autism then follow your gut is what i tell all the moms i have worked with it will never lead you astray .. GOOD LUCK HONEY .......... stay strong keep us posted ............Lay it all out in the I.e.p.s you can call as many of them as needed , p.s don't sign anything after the i.e.p until you take it home read it over and over until you feel comfortable with what there plan is then you can send it back signed .... Once it is written & signed it is about all said and done ... hugs
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- kansasmom1978
on Feb. 15, 2012 at 6:06 PM