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What can be done

Posted by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 5:37 PM
  • 6 Replies

We have had several discussion of late about children going bad and what causes it. There were many comments made that said that there was no excuse, and then a thought frame that just because everyone doesn't kill from abuse it is no reason to excuse the behavior or give leniency.

Ok point made all actions of a person short of mental incompetency are their decision.

However, should we not start making it a point to more mainstream the ideals of people speaking about their emotions and find a way to make it less taboo for people to talk about things like abuse without the stigma, shame, and fear. Is there not something we can do to make it so that each person feels they have the right to be?

If abuse or some traumatic trigger, be it horrific or subtle, is contributing to the number of murders and rapes is it not proactive and crime prevention to find a way to change society at the earlier levels where a child can openly express and not be ridiculed?

Is there not some way we can reach respect for all on some level, where teachers respect, parents respect, and then as a consequence the child respects? If so would this not be more proactive to getting rid of the drug and self destructive behaviors also?

by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 5:37 PM
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Replies (1-6):
sweetie00
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 5:42 PM

'However, should we not start making it a point to more mainstream the ideals of people speaking about their emotions and find a way to make it less taboo for people to talk about things like abuse without the stigma, shame, and fear'

I brought this up in a previous thread, and I was told that I was weak and that some ppl are just 'evil'. And that we need 'to rid them of the Earth'. THAT ATTITUDE is the problem.

'is it not proactive and crime prevention to find a way to change society at the earlier levels where a child can openly express and not be ridiculed?'

Excellent post, cris.

Talee
by Gold Member on Nov. 16, 2009 at 5:48 PM

 I guess it is fear that is the root of the problem...a person needs to feel safe talking about stuff like that.

Mergath
by Silver Member on Nov. 16, 2009 at 5:49 PM

With some children, there is an element of mental illness, but many children who lash out in a very violent and extreme manner were abused.

Child abuse doesn't necessarily happen because the parents are just mean, bad people.  Abuse happens quite often because the parents don't have the financial resources to support their family.  The stress and worry over such a long period of time takes an incredible toll, and the parents often take it out on each other, and eventually on the children.  This doesn't excuse it, obviously.  But I think we can drastically reduce the rates of child abuse if we make sure that everyone has a way to further their education, and then to get a job that pays a living wage.  We need to make sure that health care can no longer bankrupt an already struggling family.  We need to make sure that when parents are dealing with stress, they have access to marital and family counseling to ensure it doesn't spill over onto the children in the form of abuse.  We need to make sure that children can all receive the best education possible, so that they learn to respect life.  We need to stop treating sex as a taboo subject so that if some sort of sexual abuse is happening, children aren't ashamed to talk about it.  We need to stop throwing drug users in prison, because that will make it much easier for them to seek help, and so to be a better parent.  We need to give mothers paid maternity leave so that babies aren't forced to go into daycare weeks after birth, and so that parents and children have more time to form a strong bond.

The list goes on and on, but I think you get my point.

There isn't one concrete reason why children are increasingly hurting each other.  It's a complex web of shit that just keeps dragging most of us further and further down, and it's not going to get better until we start supporting our families in every way possible.

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Talee
by Gold Member on Nov. 16, 2009 at 5:54 PM


Quoting Mergath:

With some children, there is an element of mental illness, but many children who lash out in a very violent and extreme manner were abused.

Child abuse doesn't necessarily happen because the parents are just mean, bad people.  Abuse happens quite often because the parents don't have the financial resources to support their family.  The stress and worry over such a long period of time takes an incredible toll, and the parents often take it out on each other, and eventually on the children.  This doesn't excuse it, obviously.  But I think we can drastically reduce the rates of child abuse if we make sure that everyone has a way to further their education, and then to get a job that pays a living wage.  We need to make sure that health care can no longer bankrupt an already struggling family.  We need to make sure that when parents are dealing with stress, they have access to marital and family counseling to ensure it doesn't spill over onto the children in the form of abuse.  We need to make sure that children can all receive the best education possible, so that they learn to respect life.  We need to stop treating sex as a taboo subject so that if some sort of sexual abuse is happening, children aren't ashamed to talk about it.  We need to stop throwing drug users in prison, because that will make it much easier for them to seek help, and so to be a better parent.  We need to give mothers paid maternity leave so that babies aren't forced to go into daycare weeks after birth, and so that parents and children have more time to form a strong bond.

The list goes on and on, but I think you get my point.

There isn't one concrete reason why children are increasingly hurting each other.  It's a complex web of shit that just keeps dragging most of us further and further down, and it's not going to get better until we start supporting our families in every way possible.

I totally agree....the family unit over time has really broken down and nowadays the finger pointing is so bad (CPS for ex) I think maybe it could be very hard for a family that is dysfunctional to even ask for help because of fear...

stormcris
by Christy on Nov. 16, 2009 at 7:21 PM

True. If they say anything they might lose their parents or the parents if they admit they are having problems might lose their child.

Quoting Talee:


Quoting Mergath:

With some children, there is an element of mental illness, but many children who lash out in a very violent and extreme manner were abused.

Child abuse doesn't necessarily happen because the parents are just mean, bad people.  Abuse happens quite often because the parents don't have the financial resources to support their family.  The stress and worry over such a long period of time takes an incredible toll, and the parents often take it out on each other, and eventually on the children.  This doesn't excuse it, obviously.  But I think we can drastically reduce the rates of child abuse if we make sure that everyone has a way to further their education, and then to get a job that pays a living wage.  We need to make sure that health care can no longer bankrupt an already struggling family.  We need to make sure that when parents are dealing with stress, they have access to marital and family counseling to ensure it doesn't spill over onto the children in the form of abuse.  We need to make sure that children can all receive the best education possible, so that they learn to respect life.  We need to stop treating sex as a taboo subject so that if some sort of sexual abuse is happening, children aren't ashamed to talk about it.  We need to stop throwing drug users in prison, because that will make it much easier for them to seek help, and so to be a better parent.  We need to give mothers paid maternity leave so that babies aren't forced to go into daycare weeks after birth, and so that parents and children have more time to form a strong bond.

The list goes on and on, but I think you get my point.

There isn't one concrete reason why children are increasingly hurting each other.  It's a complex web of shit that just keeps dragging most of us further and further down, and it's not going to get better until we start supporting our families in every way possible.

 

I totally agree....the family unit over time has really broken down and nowadays the finger pointing is so bad (CPS for ex) I think maybe it could be very hard for a family that is dysfunctional to even ask for help because of fear...


stormcris
by Christy on Nov. 16, 2009 at 7:22 PM

Thank you.

Yes, that type of attitude is atrocious.

Quoting sweetie00:

'However, should we not start making it a point to more mainstream the ideals of people speaking about their emotions and find a way to make it less taboo for people to talk about things like abuse without the stigma, shame, and fear'

I brought this up in a previous thread, and I was told that I was weak and that some ppl are just 'evil'. And that we need 'to rid them of the Earth'. THAT ATTITUDE is the problem.

'is it not proactive and crime prevention to find a way to change society at the earlier levels where a child can openly express and not be ridiculed?'

Excellent post, cris.


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