Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

how dare you !

Posted by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 7:51 PM
  • 14 Replies

The few months I've been on CafeMom and in the Debate/discussion groups I've seen a lot of ruffled feathers !  I admit I've gotten pretty ruffled myself.  On some topics we don't want to offend anybody else, on others some don't care who they offend.  I've seen some statements that were sincere, yet answered with offensive remarks that they were offended by the sincere question or comment.  We are all too quick to take offense.  We constantly have to be careful what we say and how we say it as not to offend someone else.  For example the saying Merry Christmas post.  Years ago, one saying Merry Christmas to another was in no way offensive.  Now you may get your head bit off !  Also theres the stay at home mom and the working mom .  You can be at a park an be talking to another Mom , friendly at first, then the big question !  Or the homeschool and the public school Mom's.  We oh, so need to be careful explaining to someone what we do different as not to offend. 

So my question is, why are people, especially women so easily offended ?

by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 7:51 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 7:54 PM

How DARE YOU even suggest that I have my panties in a bunch!!! lol! I think it's because of all the estrogen PMS and menopause floating around at the same time on cafemom!!blowing kisses

by Christy on Nov. 20, 2009 at 7:54 PM

Because we are not men?

Seriously everyone has a button you can push it is just a matter of what that persons is and some have more than others. Its not supposed to be personal but not everyone can seperate self.

by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 8:00 PM

lol !  I always say, I'm glad I'm a woman, that way I won't be married to one ! 

You both have a good point !   It can be men too, people in general.  But it's so much more noticeable with women.

by New Member on Nov. 20, 2009 at 8:03 PM

i've noticed ever since i was as young as grade school that women (girls) have no respect for other women (girls).  It's really sad but it just seems like we are in constant competition for every little thing.  Men are competitive but it's way less catty and bitchy 

by Silver Member on Nov. 20, 2009 at 8:24 PM

I hate to say it, but some things have not changed since high school.  The bitchiness, the competition, the popularity contest, the image, etc, etc.   All that goes into adulthood on a whole new level, lol.    What can I say, girls will be girls, LOL - at least I can laugh about it, great post btw


by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 8:32 PM

I think maybe it's because people are more likely to believe the worst about someone and their motives, than give them the benefit of the doubt.

Especially true in electronic communications like texting and email.  

by Ruby Member on Nov. 20, 2009 at 9:18 PM

I think women are very territorial- and so when you (general you, not you OP) come along and bash someone else's normal doings, they get really mad. In a way, we're all coming into each others homes here- so there is this feeling of having to defend yourself.

I spent my four years of high school in a girls dorm/private school. Let me tell ya. It was nothing but drama, day in/day out. Yeah, there were fun times, but those fun times lasted longer if each  girl had their own room to go cool off in- which they didn't. On the other side of campus the guys just didn't have this problem. They never exchanged roommates, never fought over anything (well, didn't fight and stay mad). They just took everything in a very laid back way. This is just not how girls are wired. Or women either, lol.

by Member on Nov. 20, 2009 at 9:26 PM

I don't get it, honestly. I don't understand why people take stuff so personally. When people say hurtful stuff to me on here, it really just rolls off of my back b/c I know that they don't really know me or anything about me. Even if I get into a heated debate/argument about something, once I log off, it means nothing to me anymore. I mean, I try to be supportive if people need support and what not but if you can't speak your mind in an internet forum where no one knows anyone, where can you do it? In the back of my mind, I'm always thinking okay, this person really doesn't know me so they can only go off of what they read about me on here, which is only a very small portion of who I really am. I know some women come on here hoping ot make life long friends and maybe even meet those people IRL, but I honestly don't. I prefer to meet my RL friends in person.  

by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 9:29 PM

I also think that CM is a safe place to bash as no-ne is sitting right in front of you!

I love a good argument and I have gotten ruffled or responded sarcastically myself--but I ALSO think that CM is a safe place to be judgmental and to let all 'that' hang out precisely because no-one is sitting in front of you. 

I also think that on the 'mothering' aspect we as women are pressured to be perfect. So when someone else does something different from you--it is threatening. And I don't think men get bitchy and emotional when threatened the way women can (generalization there--I know). Seriously--I have a friend who is breastfeeding her three week old baby (first one) and her OBGYN told her to give him Vitamin D--she posted about it b/c she was curious what others had done and there were some women who were hounding her to death b/c 'breastfeeding is all natural and breastfeeding is ENOUGH and she is a terrible mother for introducing something to her baby outside of breast milk.' Good thing this gal is confident enough to have said "F**ck that, I'm doing it the way my doc recommended." But my point is--I think these ladies were doing that cause somewhere deep down they felt threatened.

I personally think a lot of this comes from the idea of what women are 'supposed' to do and be. Its a hard, crazy convoluted thing to figure out AND try to uphold and I think that bashing others is used as an outlet.

Well--I'm gonna shut up now...

by Ruby Member on Nov. 20, 2009 at 9:44 PM

I think most people have a hard time coming outside themselves. Can't see past the end of their nose. Can't imagine that other people are different and even successful in it. And I think it's all driven by fear. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)