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Really Off Topic; Sorry. (long)

Posted by on Dec. 6, 2009 at 5:13 PM
  • 5 Replies

Ok so what is appropriate behavior between coworkers?

My DF and I had a few problems last month, where we considered taking a break, he was finding it hard to concentrate on his family AND working insanely long hours 7 days a week.

But we decided our relationship was to important to us and we would work through the issues and stay together.

NOW. On one of the days that we were having a rough time, he didn't come home from work (He works from 5-2am and the store reopens at 430am). This was understandable because he didn't have a car at that time and must not have found anyone to drive him home. I was angry and upset that he didnt call but i got over it.

that whole day im waiting for a call from him to tell me where he is. its 230pm and im standing outside the car having a cigarette in our drive way (i had taken the girls for a car ride to the store and they were sleeping in their carseats) and i see a car pull up, DF is in the passenger seat and a female manager of his is sitting in the drivers seat. he TOLD me he pulled a double shift but then some of the things he said about that night didnt add up at all.

Now this bothered me because the manager was dressed like a f*cking skank. not exagerating. but I let it go.

Now two weeks ago, DF called out from work (the first time hes EVER called otu from work) because we REALLY needed time for just "Us". This female manager, (after DF had called the head manager "rick" to tell him he would be out) calls our phone from her cell phone, i can't hear all of the conversation from her end, but hes like "Yeah, no i'm not coming in, no i just have to be here right now, yup okay, bye"

Is that inappropriate?

And then since then, she has called a few times asking him to come in early to work. Of course he goes in early.

Then today she called (her number isnt saved i just have it memorized) and i didnt answer it because i was so angry, and he didnt bother to answer it when i showed him who was calling. She didn't leave a message and I know it wasn't about work, because she always leaves a message when she wants him in early.

Is this inapproprieate behavoir of her? It makes me really uncomfortable and I don't know what to do about this?

by on Dec. 6, 2009 at 5:13 PM
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Replies (1-5):
survivorinohio
by René on Dec. 6, 2009 at 5:20 PM

I think you should step back , breathe, and talk to him about it.  Be careful not to put him on the defensive and let him know of your insecurities. 

I developed a very close relationship with my boss, and his family.  My husband was uncomfortable at first but when he saw I was trustworthy and so was Terry he relaxed and we all became friends.

Unfortunately sometimes our guts are right.  I would be very careful in interpreting all the information you get so as not to alienate an honest guy.  But he may not be honest:(

               

How far you go in life depends on your being: tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of both the weak and strong.  Because someday in life you would have been one or all of these.  GeorgeWashingtonCarver


tericared
by on Dec. 6, 2009 at 7:33 PM


Quoting survivorinohio:

I think you should step back , breathe, and talk to him about it.  Be careful not to put him on the defensive and let him know of your insecurities. 

I developed a very close relationship with my boss, and his family.  My husband was uncomfortable at first but when he saw I was trustworthy and so was Terry he relaxed and we all became friends.

Unfortunately sometimes our guts are right.  I would be very careful in interpreting all the information you get so as not to alienate an honest guy.  But he may not be honest:(


this.....it could be nothing....it could be something....

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jaxTheMom
by on Dec. 6, 2009 at 8:11 PM

Odd fellowships can develop at work, where people really understand where the other is coming from.  That said, it's always behoven (is that a word?  lol) on the manager to know when and where to draw the line with a subordinate.

Doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

I agree, step back and take a breath, and figure out where you personally, as someone in a relationship, need to draw the line.  When someone crosses that line, decide what the proper reaction should be.

She may well have called him because she wanted or needed him in, and his response was appropriate.  He couldn't be there.  But it's possible that their working relationship has crossed some kind of manager/employee boundary and you know how that goes - much harder to see the boundary when you are the one facing it being crossed.  He may not quite know how to deal with her.  Just be honest, and calm with him - all you can hope for is that he's honest and calm back.

BellaRose17
by on Dec. 6, 2009 at 8:12 PM

thank you all so much!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

eaglemama2
by Silver Member on Dec. 6, 2009 at 9:35 PM

Yeah, I would have to agree with the other ladies Bella, err on the side of caution but make sure you have the facts before deciding to bitch-slap him, lol.     I hope you are wrong, so good luck!


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