Hot Topic (12/13): Are you lying to your children when you tell them about Santa?

[Cafe GroupAdmin]

What "white lies" have you told your child?  

"What a pretty picture!" 
"These cookies are delicious!" 
"Santa knows when you are sleeping!" 

The little white lie is designed to minimize hurt feelings, fear, and anger... and to keep our kids innocent as long as possible.  But don't we teach our kids to value truth?  So where do you draw the line between acceptable lying and unacceptable lying?

Is telling your childthere is a Santa Claus an acceptable lie or not?

[tericared]

 Is telling your child, there is a Santa Claus, an acceptable lie or not?

Lying to my girls was the reason  I didnt go with the whole Santa and flying reindeer story....It is lying and I always try to be very honest with my girls. If they cant believe and trust their Mother who can they believe and trust?   Of course every parent tells a little white lie, like when your 5 year old makes you cereal with marshmallow's and syrup and you say it taste good,,,But to keep a lie going is not cool in my house..

[kanalee]

I call Santa the Big Red Lie.... No it is not okay for me to lie about Santa to my children.

[Mommy_of_Riley]

I honestly think it is harmless.  And why not tell your kids about the REAL St. Nick.  There are legends and stories about him everyhwere you look.  You don't have to go into the whole Reindeer and North Pole bit but I think we are going to with our children.  Hubby and I discussed it the other day and we decided that it is a fun tradition and we both believed at one point or another.  If they ask when they are 5 or 6 if he's real, will we lie to them?  No.  But until then we will leave presents under the tree on Christmas Eve from Santa Claus.

[Pinklady91]

Yes its lying. I never told my children that Santa is real, I did tell them the story of St. Nick. I also told them that everyone has a little santa in them, anyone who does something nice to another is a Santa. Also you can be Santa everyday of the year. I just don't think its right to lie to your children for any reason. We as parents don't like it when they say the monster made the mess on the floor so why would be ok to tell them about Santa.

I think a lie is a lie. One time my son made cookies and added lots of pepper. I told him that they pepper cookies was different, and next time we should try something different then pepper. He wasn't hurt, we just made some more cookies and added a little more suger and didn't add the pepper. But his older brother and dad loved the cookies. lol.

When it comes to Santa knows when you are sleeping use to freak me out. Thinking that someone was watching me, freaky. I had a that song on the other day and my 5 yr. old shut it off and told me that was scary. lol.

[hsteele]

I guess its a lie, but I don't really care. Its like telling your children fairies are real and wishing on a star really gets results. It does no harm and I am going to keep up this lie for as long as my daughter will let me.

[Mandipants]

Sure it's a falsehood. But, so is telling them that everything is going to be all right and teaching them that most people in the world are good intentioned and that if they do their homework they will go to college and get good jobs. Really if you get down to it EVERYTHING you tell them that cannot be proven beyond a doubt is a falsehood.

But, we still do it. Why? Because we love our children and we want them to experience the wonder and beauty of the world while maintaining their innocence. Some parents do not believe in perpetuating the myth of Santa Claus. That's totally cool. But it's also totally cool to get in on the magic of Santa too. I STILL get presents from Santa and I keep the spirit of giving in my heart because of it. I'll try to teach my kid the same thing and let them experience that magic. However, other parents teach their kids the spirit of giving in other manners.

Much the same as: I don't believe in any one religion very strongly. Therefore, I won't teach my kid that God is 'real' but I will still teach them morality, justice, spirituality and goodness of spirit and they will travel that path hopefully...

So it's sixes really :)

[smcclure2005]

I totally agree with everything you said except I do believe in GOD, but I could not have said it or explained it better myself.  I have a ? Do the mothers that do not do the Santa thing tell your kids about the tooth fairy or the Easter Bunny? We all do it to a point. Do I call it lying, I call it stories like the ones that I read to them before bed..are those real no they are not but we still tell them and read them to our kids because we want them to be just that kids.

Quoting Mandipants:

Sure it's a falsehood. But, so is telling them that everything is going to be all right and teaching them that most people in the world are good intentioned and that if they do their homework they will go to college and get good jobs. Really if you get down to it EVERYTHING you tell them that cannot be proven beyond a doubt is a falsehood.

But, we still do it. Why? Because we love our children and we want them to experience the wonder and beauty of the world while maintaining their innocence. Some parents do not believe in perpetuating the myth of Santa Claus. That's totally cool. But it's also totally cool to get in on the magic of Santa too. I STILL get presents from Santa and I keep the spirit of giving in my heart because of it. I'll try to teach my kid the same thing and let them experience that magic. However, other parents teach their kids the spirit of giving in other manners.

Much the same as: I don't believe in any one religion very strongly. Therefore, I won't teach my kid that God is 'real' but I will still teach them morality, justice, spirituality and goodness of spirit and they will travel that path hopefully...

So it's sixes really :)

[athenax3]

perfect reply, saved me trying to find the words, lol, thanks mandi.

Quoting Mandipants:

Sure it's a falsehood. But, so is telling them that everything is going to be all right and teaching them that most people in the world are good intentioned and that if they do their homework they will go to college and get good jobs. Really if you get down to it EVERYTHING you tell them that cannot be proven beyond a doubt is a falsehood.

But, we still do it. Why? Because we love our children and we want them to experience the wonder and beauty of the world while maintaining their innocence. Some parents do not believe in perpetuating the myth of Santa Claus. That's totally cool. But it's also totally cool to get in on the magic of Santa too. I STILL get presents from Santa and I keep the spirit of giving in my heart because of it. I'll try to teach my kid the same thing and let them experience that magic. However, other parents teach their kids the spirit of giving in other manners.

Much the same as: I don't believe in any one religion very strongly. Therefore, I won't teach my kid that God is 'real' but I will still teach them morality, justice, spirituality and goodness of spirit and they will travel that path hopefully...

So it's sixes really :)

[sallymoon]

Apparently my husband lost a lot of trust in his parents when he figured out that Santa wasn't real, so he does not want to perpetuate this myth with our son.  We won't be doing the Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy, either.  We want to be as honest with our child as possible.  There is enough really "magic" and wonder in the world to inspire and amaze a child even without these fictitious characters.

[home-sweet-home]

We decided that it was a lie and not how we wanted to celebrate Christmas. We wanted the focus to go away from gifts and more to giving and helping others. We were also afraid that if they found out Santa was not real and we lied, would they decide God wasn't real and that we were lying about that.

Here is a funny though. We did Santa with the older two boys. They figured it out way early. We could never convince them he was real. BUT we don't do Santa with the little ones. We tell them about the history etc and they can watch the shows etc. We are not against Santa, it is just a fun story. BUT the little ones believe he is real and we cannot convince them otherwise. So at least we are not lying to them, they are choosing to believe!