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Modern Love: Could I Forgive Him One Last Time?

Posted by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 1:37 PM
  • 5 Replies

From today's paper -- I'd love to hear the thoughts of fellow moms...

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/03/fashion/03love.html

by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 1:37 PM
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JenE4
by Silver Member on Jan. 3, 2010 at 5:21 PM

Oh, man. That last line got me crying. 

That's a very difficult situation: You want to protect your child from the inevitable pain, but then how much MORE painful would it be for the child to find out someday that his daddy died and you kept them from building a relationship in the short time they would have had together? That's much worse for the (likely then adult) child.

The bittersweet part is that if the father wasn't dying, he likely never would have had a relationship with his child. I mean, what kind of excuse is it to say, "I kept meaning to have a relationship with him..." (bullshit). By the time dad "got around to" giving a damn, the kid(/teen/adult) probably would have been too hurt and resentful to even want one. So, the father's inevitable death is what gave them a life together for that brief period of time. Lovely sentiment.

Jen
Mom to Emma, 13; Wyatt, 10; and baby Sofia...babies

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stormcris
by Christy on Jan. 3, 2010 at 6:26 PM

I don't seem to have the words to express what I think about this situation but I would have made the same choice she did.

JoshiRachelsMom
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 6:34 PM


Quoting stormcris:

I don't seem to have the words to express what I think about this situation but I would have made the same choice she did.


me too.

shanyn513
by New Member on Jan. 3, 2010 at 6:44 PM

I would like to think I would do the same thing.

toddler boy

butterfly_doll
by New Member on Jan. 4, 2010 at 4:01 AM

I think that the woman in the artcle made the right choice, but I wonder why there was any "choice" at all?

What I mean is, too many people keep the other parent out of the child's life as some type of punishment, claiming that he or she "walked out" and should not be allowed to come back.

Sometimes people have relationships that don't work out and situations that they cannot seem to figure out, and children should never be punished because the parents can't figure out how to stay in a relationship with each other.

My opinon is that unless the parent was abusive, or an addict they should be able to have a relationship with their child regardless of whether or not they stay together with the other parent as a couple.

My parents divorced and I don't know whose fault is was, and I don't care. My mom once told me (when I was a teen) that there was a time when I was younger that he didn't "want" to send the child support and she had to call his commander to make him do it.  Maybe he was having financial problems. I don't know and I didn't care then, and still don't. What does that have to do with a child being able to talk to her dad?

I needed both of my parents and I am glad that they figured out how to make that happen at least some of the time. In this article the dad was dying but the thing about life is, that none of us really know when it could end. At any time an accident or tragety could occur. Life is too short to deprive children of their parents.

 

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