Hot Topic (2/10): Do you believe in "soul mates"?

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Jenny Sanford: Husband removed fidelity clause from marriage vows

 

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Ballantine Books

Jenny Sanford, wife of  South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford, says her husband insisted before their marriage on removing from their wedding vows the clause promising to be faithful.

 

She talks about their marriage and his affair with an Argentinian woman in a 20/20 interview with Barbara Walters that will air Friday, the say day her memoir, Staying True, is published.

Regarding the edited marriages vows, Sanford tells Walters:  "It bothered me to some extent, but ... we were very young, we were in love. I questioned it, but I got past it ... along with other doubts that I had."

 

 

In the interview she also reveals::

• She learned that he was "having a sexual relationship" with a 43-year-old Argentinian woman when she found an incriminating letter in his desk.
• The governor asked her permission to visit his lover again, saying that would be a testament to her love for him.
• She cried for days after he spoke publicly about the affair with his "soul mate" and how difficult a choice it was to give her up.

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Do you believe each person has a "soul mate"?

What if you discover you are not married to your "soul mate"? 

Would you marry someone who refused to make a vow of fidelity?

[ms.sophsmom]

well, yes i believe i have a soulamate n i dunno if i have met him yet. i would NOT marry someone who couldnt make a vow of fidelity to me. tht said i will most likely never marry the father of my child jus for his infidelity a few months ago.

[TabHughes]

I would never marry somebody who wouldnt vow to be faithful to me! And I do believe in soulmates but I dont think that your soulmate has to be your husband or so.  I know that i have a soulmate and I will tell you that it isnt my husband....I love my husband with all my heart and am very happily married...he is wonderful!  But my soulmate is my best friend....he knows me better then abybody...he knows when Im hurting without even seeing me or talking to me....you know what they say about twins....they can sense the others feelings....thats how we are.  And no we have never been physical and never will be. We have been best friends since we were 10.

[mrs_khan07]

I don't know about the soul-mate thing. I think when you really love a person and they love you, your soul mates with theirs, lol. That's not to say it is forever. My husband says that couples are made in heaven, which is weird because he is not generally romantic like that, he actually BELIEVES that. There is nothing sappy about it when he says it, it's all very matter-of-fact. Maybe that's why he has put up with my shit for so long. Lucky for me. And if he had refused the vow of fidelity, it would have been a deal-breaker. Not because I can't admit that it happens, but because I would have seen that as him admitting that it WILL happen. No thanks.

[rfourangels]

Do you believe each person has a "soul mate"? No. I don't think everyone is intended to have this kind of relationship. I'm not so sure a "soul mate" is necessarily a spouse either, though, I could see potential problems with any such close relationship that isn't a spouse, so it is a fine line. Others may never realize that someone else is right for them, and make what may be a more logical choice for a life partner, knowing someone else in reality may be a better spouse. 

For me, I believe that there were several potential husbands that would have been good, but one perfect one. I found him- we've been married 25 years. I guess I see it more as following God's will for your life, I also believe that love is a choice. It seems to me that if someone is only seeking their "soulmate" that perhaps it is a "feeling", but love isn't just that, it is a choice.

What if you discover you are not married to your "soul mate"? 

I made a vow. If I felt that someone else was a better "match", that is too late. I believe that love is more than just a feeling, it is a commitment. Marriage is a commitment, not to be easily broken.

Like the guy in this article, to find his soulmate later, really shows a lack of character I believe. Even if he had not acted on it, it showed his lack of commitment, he violated his vow. Certainly, no longer worthy of his wife, who did believe in their commitment to each other. He stepped over the line, far before he actually slept with this woman. I also think that emotional infidelity is equal to infidelity in any form.

Would you marry someone who refused to make a vow of fidelity?

No- it defeats the purpose of the vow. I guess, I'd ask, why would they bother to get married then? For tax purposes or something? Oh, perhaps because it looks good when you are in office...

[rfourangels]

So- here's my favorite love story...sort of on the topic of "what if you found your soulmate, and you weren't married to him/her?"

This is true, and it happened in my family. Early in ww2, my great-aunt andgreat- uncle got married- they always said they were soul mates, and truly loved each other. He was drafted into the German Army (The Reich), she also joined the forces. They lost contact, she became a double spy with the Russian Army (but was a German), and it was discovered. She was sent to a Russian concentration camp in Siberia, and was very shrewed in escaping. She still has a bullet in her hip, from being shot.

She finally made it home, towards the end of the war, and searched unendingly for him. she received word that he was dead, and vowed to herself to never again get married. It wasn't until about 10 years after the war ended, that they ran into each other in the store. They recognized each other immediately... he had thought she too was dead, and had gotten remarried, and had 2 children. He left his wife once these two found each other again, and got "remarried." One of his children never spoke to him again.

He died a few years ago, and she still has his picture on her wall- she is in her late 90's now.

 

[mrs_khan07]

Quoting rfourangels:

So- here's my favorite love story...sort of on the topic of "what if you found your soulmate, and you weren't married to him/her?"

This is true, and it happened in my family. Early in ww2, my great-aunt andgreat- uncle got married- they always said they were soul mates, and truly loved each other. He was drafted into the German Army (The Reich), she also joined the forces. They lost contact, she became a double spy with the Russian Army (but was a German), and it was discovered. She was sent to a Russian concentration camp in Siberia, and was very shrewed in escaping. She still has a bullet in her hip, from being shot.

She finally made it home, towards the end of the war, and searched unendingly for him. she received word that he was dead, and vowed to herself to never again get married. It wasn't until about 10 years after the war ended, that they ran into each other in the store. They recognized each other immediately... he had thought she too was dead, and had gotten remarried, and had 2 children. He left his wife once these two found each other again, and got "remarried." One of his children never spoke to him again.

He died a few years ago, and she still has his picture on her wall- she is in her late 90's now.

Wow! That is an incredible story! Thanks for sharing that.

[rfourangels]

Quoting mrs_khan07:

Quoting rfourangels:

So- here's my favorite love story...sort of on the topic of "what if you found your soulmate, and you weren't married to him/her?"

This is true, and it happened in my family. Early in ww2, my great-aunt andgreat- uncle got married- they always said they were soul mates, and truly loved each other. He was drafted into the German Army (The Reich), she also joined the forces. They lost contact, she became a double spy with the Russian Army (but was a German), and it was discovered. She was sent to a Russian concentration camp in Siberia, and was very shrewed in escaping. She still has a bullet in her hip, from being shot.

She finally made it home, towards the end of the war, and searched unendingly for him. she received word that he was dead, and vowed to herself to never again get married. It wasn't until about 10 years after the war ended, that they ran into each other in the store. They recognized each other immediately... he had thought she too was dead, and had gotten remarried, and had 2 children. He left his wife once these two found each other again, and got "remarried." One of his children never spoke to him again.

He died a few years ago, and she still has his picture on her wall- she is in her late 90's now.

 

Wow! That is an incredible story! Thanks for sharing that.

I'm glad you enjoyed it too... It still makes me cry about those two.

[bpmharris]

I believe in having a soul-mate. My soul-mate is my best friend from the 8th grade, who's also a girl. (We're 25 now.) We are like the ying and yang lol. Irreplaceable. But if I didn't have her and found my soul-mate who was a male.. I would have him as a good friend. I truly love my husband with my entire being, and could not choose a better person. Why not have both of them in my life?? I also could not marry someone who refused to make a vow of fidelity.. What's the point of Marriage?

[cuteypatuti]

Soul mates..ummm.. not so much. I believe we can all be faithful though. It's a choice. I would never marry someone whose intentions are to be unfaithful.

[ThatTXMom]

Do you believe each person has a "soul mate"?  I didn't until I met my husband.  Our ethics and morals are completely in line but our personalities are such that we compliment and "complete" one another.  Our foundation is solid while our lives are enriched by our differences. Yin and Yang for sure.  I cannot imagine living without him.  He treats me like his queen and he is my king.  Cheesy, but true.

What if you discover you are not married to your "soul mate"?  Impossible!

Would you marry someone who refused to make a vow of fidelity?  What is the point of being married if you negate the basis of a marriage? My answer is NO!