I read post everyday about the kids would do better being taken away from their parents for stupid little things. I want to ask those ladies do you really know what it is to be in foster care. Do you really know how it feels to be riped out of your home? Do you really know how it feels to put in a strangers home? Do you really know how it feels to be taken away from your parents?
Well, I do. I didn't have the best life with my parents but it was so much better then being taken away from them. My mother may have drank a lot, lived off of warfare, slept around and slapped me once in while, but she loved me. She just didn't know how to show it. While the foster parents beat me, raped me and they used me for a slave. This is just my story, but I knew so many other foster kids that have gone through so many other stories and they wish they where back home. I still work with foster kids today, to deal with their horrible experince with foster care. My kids have friends that come here lots of time that has been in foster care and it was so much worse then home.
I am sorry had to vent. Get so tired of hearing take the kids away, blah, blah, blah like it is a fix all. I want you know there is so much more bad foster parents out there then good. It actually hurts the kids so much more taking them away from their parents, then working with the parents to try to make things better while the kids are still there.
I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT THE KIDS THAT ARE BEING BEATING AND SEXUALY ABUSED. I am talking about parents that just don't know how to parent. Most foster parents don't know how to parent either.
Thank you.
I dont think people understand. Thank you for sharing. I was in foster care as well and the group home I was placed in was a very cold sterile environment where love was not on the menu. It wasnt as bad of an experience as it could have been but it in no way was warm or nurturing.
Kids need to be loved. Really
How far you go in life depends on your being: tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of both the weak and strong. Because someday in life you would have been one or all of these. GeorgeWashingtonCarver
And while I may not have been in foster care myself, I see the kids I work with (teens with special needs) who are far better off in foster care. The kids who call their foster parents mom and dad. Yes there are bad foster parents, but there are really great ones too, you can't judge every case by your personal experience. Obviously being slapped around a bit isn't as bad as being raped and beaten, but it's not as good as being properly cared for and loved.
So what is the answer? Damned if you do damned if you don't. We leave children in dangerous unhealthy homes for fear that foster homes will be just as bad? When it comes down to it, reproduction is happening and cannot be controlled by parents who have no reason being parents. More laws and regulations for parents and foster parents to not follow? I don't believe that any child should be left in the home of a guardian who chooses alcohol, cable, cigarettes, sex, drugs and so on over the childs well being be it a biological parent or a foster parent.
I am very sorry for your childhood. No child should have to be put through what some children have to go through.
Quoting canadianmom1974:
And while I may not have been in foster care myself, I see the kids I work with (teens with special needs) who are far better off in foster care. The kids who call their foster parents mom and dad. Yes there are bad foster parents, but there are really great ones too, you can't judge every case by your personal experience. Obviously being slapped around a bit isn't as bad as being raped and beaten, but it's not as good as being properly cared for and loved.
I agree there are situations where it is a better thing but perhaps not as often as is thought.
And I have fostered as well. Some of us really care. Others not so much.
How far you go in life depends on your being: tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of both the weak and strong. Because someday in life you would have been one or all of these. GeorgeWashingtonCarver
But, should we really be removing children for minor infractions that are technically not physical sexual or mental abuse? I understand there are great foster parents out there and then there are the ones just seeking a paycheck(yes people actually do it for the check). The do remove children for many things that while might not be the best situation is clearly not abuse. In the past they have removed children for not medicating for ADHD as an example.
Quoting canadianmom1974:
And while I may not have been in foster care myself, I see the kids I work with (teens with special needs) who are far better off in foster care. The kids who call their foster parents mom and dad. Yes there are bad foster parents, but there are really great ones too, you can't judge every case by your personal experience. Obviously being slapped around a bit isn't as bad as being raped and beaten, but it's not as good as being properly cared for and loved.
Join us on
Current Events & Hot Topics
Group Mod
Stormcris I do agree with you, there are some cases that are so clearly not child abuse nor neglect. I have personally witnessed a child removed from a home because of an actual accident. Ever since seeing what happened to this family I get scared to death when one of my kids fall down or have some bruise or cut. It's terrible!
On the flip side I have seen cases where kids really were in danger and needed to be removed but were not.
We don't live in a perfect world and it never will be. No matter how hard we try to save the children there are always going to be some that slip between the cracks. I really don't have an answer, but I sure wish I did.
Quoting kc932:
So what is the answer? Damned if you do damned if you don't. We leave children in dangerous unhealthy homes for fear that foster homes will be just as bad? When it comes down to it, reproduction is happening and cannot be controlled by parents who have no reason being parents. More laws and regulations for parents and foster parents to not follow? I don't believe that any child should be left in the home of a guardian who chooses alcohol, cable, cigarettes, sex, drugs and so on over the childs well being be it a biological parent or a foster parent.
I am very sorry for your childhood. No child should have to be put through what some children have to go through.
They answer is to help the parents. If my mother got help, she would had done better. She didn't have a role model as a parent so she didn't know. I fianlly did when I was 17 a friends mom took me in. She showed me how to be a caring parent.
I am only talking about minor issues. NOt severy mental, sexual, phyiscal abuse.
Check out these Tasty Treats from The Stir's partners:
Eight Year Old Girl Given "Catastrophe Award" By Teacher
Are you on any medication? Do you feel drugs are pushed on Americans?
- Missmuffets
on Feb. 10, 2010 at 4:37 PM