Hot Topic (2/13): Extreme breastfeeding...how long is too long?

[Cafe GroupAdmin]

Moms who breastfeed until their kids are 4, 5, 6 ...

 When a Bay Area mom, who we'll call Jennifer, was pregnant, she took a breastfeeding class at Kaiser. Jennifer learned all about how your milk supply is established, positioning, and latch. She also learned that on average mothers throughout the world breastfeed their children until age 4.

Jennifer didn't take this fact too seriously and assumed that she'd try to breastfeed her child until he turned 1. This seemed to be the goal of most other moms.

But when Jennifer's son was still happily nursing at 1 year old, she decided to keep on going until he showed signs of wanting to stop. She realized that breastfeeding provides a wonderful opportunity for mother and child to cuddle and bond. At this point, Jennifer took great comfort in knowing that women throughout the world breastfeed their children well past the baby stage.

Jennifer continued to nurse her son, and didn't stop until he was 4 years old and told her, "I don't need this anymore."

Of course, he wanted mommy's milk the next day but she decided that it was time to wean him.

Breastfeeding a child until he is age 4 is unusual in the United States. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends exclusive breastfeeding for about the first six months and support for nursing for the first year and beyond, as long as mutually desired by mother and child. But only 23 percent of women in the U.S. make it until age 1, according to the Centers for Disease Control. It's simply not part of American culture to nurse a toddler.

Jennifer was aware that long-term breastfeeding is considered taboo, and so she didn't freely share that she was still nursing her 3-year-old son in the morning and at night before bedtime. She only told friends who she figured wouldn't criticize her. "I knew I was getting into weirdo land for a lot of people," she says.

She only breastfed in her home and told her son to keep quiet about it. "When he was about 3 years old, I remember having a discussion between the two of us," Jennifer says. "I told him that what we're doing is private and we don't need to talk about it outside the house."

While Jennifer was secretive, a mom in the United Kingdom is sharing with the world that she breastfed her daughter until she was six and a half years old in her new book Breastfeeding Older Children.

For her book, Ann Sinnott of Cambridge corresponded via email with women, men and children from nearly 50 countries, and she found that breastfeeding until a child is three, six, nine, or even 11 is a growing phenomenon, according to Irish Independent.

Sinnott says her book is intended to reach out to women who are breastfeeding their toddlers and let them know that they're not alone and that they don't need to nurse behind closed doors. She is advocating for moms to allow their children to choose when breastfeeding ceases; some call this child-led breastfeeding.

Sinnott also hopes to challenge the negative perceptions of many psychologists who contend that breastfed older children are emotionally damaged

Earlier this month a mom named Robyn Paul appeared on ABC News to talk about breastfeeding all three of her children longterm, and a psychologist questioned what she's doing. Will Braun told ABC that he isn't so sure and he wonders whether it's appropriate from a developmental standpoint.

"I think a child really needs to learn to develop the capacity to soothe oneself, the capacity to tolerate frustration," Braun said. "When a child is constantly given a breast, it might thwart that from happening."

But Paul doesn't think this is the case. On the news show she shared that breastfeeding her children has created a special bond between them.

"I really feel that there is an extra bonding or attachment there that I would like to think that because he nursed until he was 6, that there was some more closeness there ... that you get when you're able to have him in your arms for a longer period of time," Paul told ABC. "My daughter's the same way. Very much so."

* * *

Your thoughts?

[dsptchmommy]

My personal opinion is anything over 1.5 to 2 is a little overboard and definitely anything over 4 is not normal and cause for concern as to why it is happening.

[palexander]

This never ceases to surprize me. This is one of the few countries in the World where it is taboo to breastfeed past 2 and "sick or preverted".

I have my personal comfort zone for breastfeeding which is two. But just a few months ago it was 18 months. My youngest is almost 14 months and still breastfed. I plan to self-wean.

I don't think there is time to place on how long a mom breastfeeds. The nutrition is there whether the child is 2 weeks or 2 yrs, or older. I personally know a mom who breastfed both her children till they were 4.

For most breastfeed who are still breastfed after 2 it is only a few times a day. They are usually not nursing every couple hours. It is more like nap and bed or just bed.

To cut short one comment that is sure to pop up. There is NOTHING sexual about breastfeeding a child for more than year. The mom doesn't get all sexually excited. I have heard this many times. Also breastfeeding is a huge comfort to a baby and when a mom weans before the baby is ready it can be very stressful to the child.  

[SxyMartini]

If the child can say boob his or her time is up. :-)

Was I the only one that was surprised my the title of this post? Kind of sounded like a new reality show....eXtreme Breastfeeding!!!????

[tericared]

Quoting SxyMartini:

If the child can say boob his or her time is up. :-)

Was I the only one that was surprised my the title of this post? Kind of sounded like a new reality show....eXtreme Breastfeeding!!!????

LOL......

[hsteele]

Breastfeeding is healthy for your child, boosting their immune system...etc...etc. I breastfed my daught until she was 1, she self weaned, but I think it was because I fed her too much solids too soon. I will probably only BF until my son is 1.5, at the oldest, but that is a personal choice. I don't care if someone else wants to extended breastfeed. I do think that for a child's mental and social health, that breastfeeding past a certain point may not be good. I think once the "milk" teeth (baby teeth) start to come out, its time to stop, unless your pumping, which i may do once my son gets older. But thats my opinion. I might question the mothers mental health if the child is 6 1/2. But its not my place to judge.

[hsteele]

I can't stand to have my husband touch my breasts while my kids still breastfeed. For me, those are for food, not sex right now and its just weird to think of them as "sex toys" lol, much to my husbands disappointment.

Quoting palexander:

This never ceases to surprize me. This is one of the few countries in the World where it is taboo to breastfeed past 2 and "sick or preverted".

I have my personal comfort zone for breastfeeding which is two. But just a few months ago it was 18 months. My youngest is almost 14 months and still breastfed. I plan to self-wean.

I don't think there is time to place on how long a mom breastfeeds. The nutrition is there whether the child is 2 weeks or 2 yrs, or older. I personally know a mom who breastfed both her children till they were 4.

For most breastfeed who are still breastfed after 2 it is only a few times a day. They are usually not nursing every couple hours. It is more like nap and bed or just bed.

To cut short one comment that is sure to pop up. There is NOTHING sexual about breastfeeding a child for more than year. The mom doesn't get all sexually excited. I have heard this many times. Also breastfeeding is a huge comfort to a baby and when a mom weans before the baby is ready it can be very stressful to the child.  

[Randi02]

The natural weaning age for humans is 2.5 - 7 years.

You know what's sick and disgusting? Formula, cows milk and hands off parenting. There is nothing wrong with meeting your childs emotional and nutritional needs the way nature intended.

It's not "extreme breastfeeding" it's called "full term breastfeeding" and it's sad that so many women in this part of the world have an issue with it. I am nursing my 22 month old until she self weans, as I did with my son and will do with the baby I have due this year.

[Soulmate-2-R]

i didnt bf at all with my daughter and never wanted it...i dont find that sort of thing is desireable at all...but i think over the age of 2 is a little strange and definitely older than that is just plain wacky...but whatever works for them....i personally think at that age it is more about the parent than the child...you have to set boundaries at some point.

[toomanypoodles]

If you gotta tell your kid to keep it a secret and not to tell anyone...it's too long. 

[RunninRagged64]

3 years seems to be the right age.