Hot Topic (2/25): Are unmarried couples less stable?

[Cafe GroupAdmin]

Married parents 'ten times more likely to stay together'

 

 

Happy families: Research shows that married couples with children are more stable than those merely cohabiting

Married parents are ten times more likely to stay together than cohabiting couples with children, according to research.

The study also showed cohabiting has become a less stable form of relationship compared with 18 years ago, with couples more likely to separate.

Figures show that in 1992, 70 per cent of couples who had children after they were married stayed together until their child's 16th birthday.

This increased to 75 per cent in 2006, showing that marriage has become a more stable family background for youngsters.

However, only 36 per cent of cohabiting parents stayed together until their son or daughter reached 16 in 1992. By 2006, just 7 per cent of couples who were unmarried when their child was born were still cohabiting by their 16th birthday.

This figure excludes those couples who were just living together when their child was born and later got married.

Around three in five couples who stop cohabiting decide to marry. Of these just 17 per cent are still together by the time their child is 16, the report says.

* * *

Based on this article and your experience, what are your thoughts?

Should marriage come before children?

 

[AMBG825]

how many married couples are still together when the child turns 16?

And why are they throwing out couples who cohabitate long periods and eventually marry? I understand that they're no longer just 'cohabitating" but throws their findings off. If 3 out of 5 get married that means 3 out of 5 stay together.

Sounds like a flawed study.

[freckled-Sandy]

I believe it.  There is no formal commitment when your just shackin' up.  You can separate either stops feeling "in love".  At the very least when your married, there are vows and you are legally tied together and you have to jump through certain hoops to dissolve the marriage.  

[OmbreGracieuse]

I don't know... divorce rates are on the rise too.  I think now-a-days it is a craps shoot all the same.  I wonder why they chose the 16-year mark and not the 18-year or 21- year. Do the statistics just fall off the map at that point?

It also doesn't cover why they stay together that long.  I knew someone who stayed with her husband til her daughter got out of high school and then RAN.  It happens...

[Proudmumof2]

My DH and I are not married. But that doesn't make our committment any less strong than those who are officially married! We still love each and take our committment VERY seriously. We work on our relationship every single day the same as those who are married may. As for jumping through hoops - if we were to decide to call it quits, we would still have to deal with custody and child support issues, as well as division of assets. There are very few differences between Marriage and "Shacking Up", as you put it.

Quoting freckled-Sandy:

I believe it.  There is no formal commitment when your just shackin' up.  You can separate either stops feeling "in love".  At the very least when your married, there are vows and you are legally tied together and you have to jump through certain hoops to dissolve the marriage.  

[rlemde]

 ...I think if I hadn't married my husband, I might have left him over something a long time ago. B/c I made that commitment I feel I should honor it.

Marriage, if a couple wants, should come when they want it to, regardless if there are children already or not.

[Mommy_of_Riley]

I think that whether a couple stays together or not all depends on that couple.  Not on whether they have a ring.

[home-sweet-home]

I believe marriage should come before children.

[smalltowngal]

It makes sense. I think you're going to have a lot of married people that stay together even though they're unhappy versus people who aren't married. You're going to have a % of the married couples who don't believe in divorce too.

[la_bella_vita]

 It's different for every couple. There is no one size fits all answer.

[Serenity75]

 If you click the link at the top, you see there is much more to the article... some of which is quite interesting, imo.  Further down you will see comments by readers, this one here I whole-heartedly agree with:

 Of course there are no guarantees that a marriage will last (or that anything in life will come good) but the chances of children growing up to be stable adults increase with a stable marriage and also with a marriage where the parents stay together because they believe it is for the good of the children and work at improving their own relationship rather than just abandoning it for the sake of a bit of excitement with a 'new model.'

 The reason being is because I can relate... At one point in my marriage I desperately wanted out, but for the sake of the children and the commitment I made, I decided to make it work.... and I'm sooooo happy I did.  But if it weren't for my legally marriage-binding commitment, there would have been nothing there to stop me from walking out with the kids in tow.

 I've spoken to many couples who co-habited before getting married and they all said the same thing... that one little piece of paper - no matter how insignificant it may seem - changed everything for them.