Today's Hot Topic (2/27): Is equality for women an illusion?

[Cafe GroupAdmin]

 For women in America, equality is still an illusion

Every day, we hear about the horrors women endure in other countries: rape in Darfur, genital mutilation in Egypt, sex trafficking in Eastern Europe. We shake our heads, forward e-mails and send money.

We have no problem condemning atrocities done to women abroad, yet too many of us in the United States ignore the oppression on our doorstep. We're suffering under the mass delusion that women in America have achieved equality.

And why not -- it's a feel-good illusion. We cry with Oprah and laugh with Tina Fey; we work and take care of our children; we watch Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton and U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice proudly and sigh with relief, believing we've come so far. But we're basking in a "girl power" moment that doesn't exist -- it's a mirage of equality that we've been duped into believing is the real thing.

Because despite the indisputable gains over the years, women are still being raped, trafficked, violated and discriminated against -- not just in the rest of the world, but here in the United States. And though feminists continue to fight gender injustices, most people seem to think that outside of a few lingering battles, the work of the women's movement is done.

It's time to stop fooling ourselves. For all our "empowered" rhetoric, women in this country aren't doing nearly as well as we'd like to think.

After all, women are being shot dead in the streets here, too. It was only last year that George Sodini opened fire in a gym outside Pittsburgh, killing three women and injuring nine others. Investigators learned from Sodini's blog that he specifically targeted women. In 2006, a gunman went into an Amish schoolhouse in Pennsylvania; he sent the boys outside and opened fire on almost a dozen girls, killing five. That same year in Colorado, a man sexually assaulted six female students he had taken hostage at a high school before killing one of them.

And it's not just strangers who are killing women; more than 1,000 women were killed by their partners in 2005, and of all the women murdered in the United States, about a third are killed by a husband or boyfriend. A leading cause of death for pregnant women? Murder by a partner.
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Do you think women in the United States are "oppressed"?

Have women achieved equality with men in the United States?

What is your experience with this issue?  Do you feel oppressed as a woman?

 

[Joylynn77]

I was thinking about this. In the 50's, women were judged by the way they took care of their man, putting their mens needs first, in the home. Now, women are judged....by the way they take care of men; how much skin they show, and putting mens needs....first....Same ol' shit, except now we are expected to do it in public, when before, we were expected to keep it private.

I know this is a pretty simplistic way of putting it, but I think this post has the right idea.

[AMBG825]

Do you think women in the United States are "oppressed"?

Not in the sense that the article is referring to but yes. I think that, no matter how much equality is achieved, women will be targets for some. Not because they're women, per se but because women are, in general, physically weaker. Women, children, the elderly and handicapped will always be targets for some.

Have women achieved equality with men in the United States?

Not completely. We've come a long way in a short time but no where near "equal". Anyone who thinks they are, should go back and watch the archived news footage from the presidential primaries.

What is your experience with this issue?  Do you feel oppressed as a woman?

I'm a more up front, in your face, confrontational person. I don't feel "oppressed" but I have felt discriminated against.

[SweetPea_05]

I had a good dear friend who got kidnapped from front of her own home while she was checking her mail. these guys in a van pulled up and pulled her in the van and took her up into the foot hills and rapped her and left her there with nothing on her back. She walked miles until someone finally stopped to helped her. The police didn't get involved the only way these guys would get caught her bother which was my boyfriend and his fixing to be Bother in law put the Authority in to their own hands. They found the guys and shot them dead. It's bad everywhere no matter what part of the world we live as the problem being ignored I say yes to a point and no we know it's there and some of try do something I have to say we can do lot more to stop it but we need more hand power to stop it and we don't have that like some of these countries we have to Authority we can't do nothing about it. I hate seeing that happen to anyone It is very sad.

[rlemde]

 

Do you think women in the United States are "oppressed"? Yes. It's still a 'man's world'. We can have the job, we can do whatever we want, but we are still knocked down on a personal character/gender level.

Have women achieved equality with men in the United States? I'm not sure how many are, but there have to be some women out there that have been treated equal as a man; but then they probably made snide comments about how she probably has something dangling between her legs.

What is your experience with this issue?  Do you feel oppressed as a woman? Well, I'm expected to stay in the traditional female role "b/c it's better for the kids". That may be fine and dandy for some who are ready to settle for that, but I want to be known more than 'who cooks dinner' to my kids. When I didn't in one relationship I was beaten down literally, though he didn't do anything to provide. How is that ok? Why is it that if we're in a situation like that to be obligated to take on more of a male role, we're knocked down and it's not accepted? It's like we're told it's ok, but if we actually try it, we have to suffer the abuse. Even Clinton gets it--look what the media has said about what color of LIPSTICK she wears. Do you see a man being criticized by what color of tie he wears? No. B/c it's not important when it comes to politics. Then why is Clinton criticized? She may have not hit the glass ceiling professionally, but when it comes to her peers, yah in a way she has. (This is no way talking about outright physical abuse with her, but the emotional. Which she's enough of a hardass to not let it get to her hopefully).

This is just my take. Women are treated differently, and we let ourselves be treated differently. Those that beat us down b/c one was raped was b/c she was asking for it, look at how she was dressed, she really wanted it. When you're trying to fit into the mainstream culture, you're asking for someone to phsyically annihilate you? We're judged on our sexuality. How is that ok??

I was talking to a friend this morning about a friend of his, how when she was 14 she was raped and got pregnant from it. Well, she called the police, and her mom told the police "she's lying, she's just a whore," and nothing was done. A mother did this to her own daughter, what did you think she had to justify that? Just reminded me of it, how we judge each other by what happens to us.

[Missmuffets]

We don't have equality. IF you want to be equal to a man you have to act like a man. I think women need to be able to act like a women and still be equal.

When I went to school and they where telling us how we needed to act in the work place it was don't allow a man open the door for you and make sure you show lots of leg.

[Missmuffets]

I think women are the worse about it. My great grandma disowned my grandma when she found out that my grandma was in the women rights movement. My grandpa was supportive though. My grandma told her why do you want to be equal, because we are not.  I think women are sometimes scared what is going to happen they have been trained one way, and lot off ppl don't like change.

Quoting rlemde:

 

Do you think women in the United States are "oppressed"? Yes. It's still a 'man's world'. We can have the job, we can do whatever we want, but we are still knocked down on a personal character/gender level.

Have women achieved equality with men in the United States? I'm not sure how many are, but there have to be some women out there that have been treated equal as a man; but then they probably made snide comments about how she probably has something dangling between her legs.

What is your experience with this issue?  Do you feel oppressed as a woman? Well, I'm expected to stay in the traditional female role "b/c it's better for the kids". That may be fine and dandy for some who are ready to settle for that, but I want to be known more than 'who cooks dinner' to my kids. When I didn't in one relationship I was beaten down literally, though he didn't do anything to provide. How is that ok? Why is it that if we're in a situation like that to be obligated to take on more of a male role, we're knocked down and it's not accepted? It's like we're told it's ok, but if we actually try it, we have to suffer the abuse. Even Clinton gets it--look what the media has said about what color of LIPSTICK she wears. Do you see a man being criticized by what color of tie he wears? No. B/c it's not important when it comes to politics. Then why is Clinton criticized? She may have not hit the glass ceiling professionally, but when it comes to her peers, yah in a way she has. (This is no way talking about outright physical abuse with her, but the emotional. Which she's enough of a hardass to not let it get to her hopefully).

This is just my take. Women are treated differently, and we let ourselves be treated differently. Those that beat us down b/c one was raped was b/c she was asking for it, look at how she was dressed, she really wanted it. When you're trying to fit into the mainstream culture, you're asking for someone to phsyically annihilate you? We're judged on our sexuality. How is that ok??

I was talking to a friend this morning about a friend of his, how when she was 14 she was raped and got pregnant from it. Well, she called the police, and her mom told the police "she's lying, she's just a whore," and nothing was done. A mother did this to her own daughter, what did you think she had to justify that? Just reminded me of it, how we judge each other by what happens to us.

[stormcris]

I think the whole inequality thing is something that is allowed and if you want equality you can have it. "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission."

[lbranta]

Well I know this is going to be really unpopular here but really I don't think we well really ever be considered equal until we take equal responsibility.  Don't get me wrong I am not for the draft but really one example of not equal responsibility is that men when they turn 18 are required to register yet woman still are not required too.  Equal right equal responsibility.

[resamerie]

 Are we equal? NO. First of all, women fought for equality. We've come a long way in the work force, but, for those that work and have kids, many times the children are still mainly the woman's responsibility. That is not equal. Also, (and I'm not just dissing Obama here, it was just something that's fresh in my mind) I noticed in the Health care summit that when speaking to or about the congresswoman to his left, he would hold his hand over her hand. I never seen him holding old Joe's hand on his right. I've seen similar behavior in other businesses. That woman should have yanked her hand away to prove a point, that you can't just pat a woman on the head and expect her to just run along and keep up the good work while us men figure everything out.   

[Mommy_of_Riley]

I guess I'll always be "old fashioned" because I think women are better equipped to handle children (otherwise we wouldn't be the ones to give birth) so it is our place to care for our kids.  And I am NOT saying that men shouldn't help with raising children...

Anyways, I am perfectly fine with making dinner for my husband every night, cleaning the house every day and taking care of my kids.  I don't see these things as making my unequal.  I see this as my husband and I having different roles and responsibilities but that doesn't make us unequal...