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Helicopter Parenting (PIOG)

Posted by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 9:42 PM
  • 33 Replies

 

Helicopter’ parents have neurotic kids

Over-parenting may lead to undesirable traits, study shows

By Rachael Rettner
updated 2:42 p.m. ET, Thurs., June 3, 2010

BOSTON - Overly protective parents might be leaving a lasting impact on their child's personality, and not in a good way, a new study finds.

The results show having so-called "helicopter parents" was associated with being dependent, neurotic and less open, a slew of personality traits that are generally thought of as undesirable.

The study, which surveyed college freshman, is one of the first to try to define exactly what helicopter parenting is, and measure it. The term was originally coined by college admissions personnel when they started to notice a change in parents of prospective students — parents would call the admissions office and try to intervene in a process that had previously just been between the student and the college, said study researcher Neil Montgomery, a psychologist at Keene State College in New Hampshire.

 
Are you a helicopter parent? Do you see benefits of helicopter parenting or do you agree with the article that it creates undesirable behaviors? If you helicopter, does this article give you pause and make you want to reconsider your parenting strategies in this regard?


    Different, but not less~Temple Grandin

by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 9:42 PM
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Replies (1-10):
katy_kay
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 9:45 PM

 I think overall I strike a pretty even balance.  I intervene in situations that are too big for my young kids to handle and I allow them to work through their conflicts with their friends because I think it's important that they figure things out and learn that not every kid is going to be your friend and many times that is a good thing. 

TruthSeeker.
by Milami on Jun. 3, 2010 at 9:51 PM

 I am a complete and total helicopter parent. I keep telling myself I will let go and let them work it out, yet every time I find myself hovering within arms reach.

 I never intended to be this way. I always thought I would be a "free range" type of parent. Natural consequences being the best way for a child to learn.

 I need to find that balance Katy, that you spoke of. I do feel that this article is on the money.  I can see that helicoptering is making my oldest very dependent on me to resolve her conflicts.  I also worry about making her "anxious" when and if I am not there.

Soulmate-2-R
by Member on Jun. 3, 2010 at 9:54 PM

i am the complete opposite....i believe in indepence and free choice in children....unless it is dangerous or they will get seriously hurt....i let her work it out....

klianemcb2
by Member on Jun. 3, 2010 at 9:55 PM

I can't stand hovering parents. They raise self conscious, high stress children. Let them live, let them breathe!

Hell no, I'm not a helicopter mom

TruthSeeker.
by Milami on Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:00 PM

 

Quoting klianemcb2:

I can't stand hovering parents. They raise self conscious, high stress children. Let them live, let them breathe!

Hell no, I'm not a helicopter mom

    I understand your frustration but allow me to retort. I can't stand parents that Never intervene. Parents that allow their out of control 7 yr old hooligan to stomp on my two year olds fingers because I asked him to not take his toy away. There are extremes in both parenting styles, helicoptering and free-range.

    Different, but not less~Temple Grandin

WImom2
by Silver Member on Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:02 PM

I am a proud hovering parent. If that means they shake like nervous Chihuahuas by 18 so be it. At least they will SEE 18. I am not about to allow my little children to just walk through life blindly thinking everything is safe, that would be an injustice to them. I lead and guide them to become productive, successful adults. At which time I hope I will have prepared them to face the world and the challenges the world throws at them.

Mandipants
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:05 PM

Are you a helicopter parent? Don't think so. I try to strike a balance of being a loving and safe parent with fostering independence and self determination (etc)

Do you see benefits of helicopter parenting or do you agree with the article that it creates undesirable behaviors? I agree with the article. My daughter attends a private school that attracts a large amount of helicopters. It has, in part, spurred some searching for a different school...


Peanutx3
by Ruby Member on Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:15 PM
I am not a helicopter parent. I am much more of a free range parent but I do step in when I feel necessary. My parents were free range. I grew up experiencing the consequences of choices made and I am a better person for it.




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SxyMartini
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:30 PM

All i know is that I want to be nothing like my parents. They were very strict and I never left the house or was allowed to go out with friends. When I was 18 i moved to France. Oops...

TruthSeeker.
by Milami on Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:32 PM

 

Quoting SxyMartini:

All i know is that I want to be nothing like my parents. They were very strict and I never left the house or was allowed to go out with friends. When I was 18 i moved to France. Oops...

   I had the same parent. It was stifling. I have a lot of "when I turned 18" stories. *shudders*

    Different, but not less~Temple Grandin

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