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Children- A commitment for life?

Posted by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 12:24 PM
  • 43 Replies

So I was pondering this question. Are you forever responsible for the life you created or just until they turn 18? I am not asking if you should raise "lazy loafers," whom never are prepared to be launched into the "real," world. However is it a parents' responsibility to make sure their children regardless of age are not homeless wondering the streets? 

For example my parents have their retirement set up so that when they pass away my siblings and I will get a portion of it. Split up it's not a lot but it averages at 2,000 a month each should they pass away today. There is a cot of living raise associated with it so it will likely be more. We get that no matter what or how old we are. Furthermore should any of us get caught up in a rut we are always welcome home to build our life up again. This gives me comfort knowing that I am forever taken care of should the unforeseen circumstances happen.This may seem like common sense but some feel that they should not be held responsible for their adult children.

by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 12:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
kara_thrace
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 12:27 PM

However is it a parents' responsibility to make sure their children regardless of age are not homeless wondering the streets?


No, not in my eyes.  If I am always bailing them out, when will they ever learn to be independent?

As for your story about ur grandparents, I feel fine with that situation, but to me that isn't keeping ur kids off the street money, it's just an inheritance.  If a child really doesn't handle things right as an adult.. You could give them lots of money and they still end up homeless.


 

Joqui
by Joqui on Dec. 9, 2010 at 12:29 PM

UFF I am going to go with the theory I learned back in HS. I am responsible for my children until they are able to become responsible for themselves, at that time the roles switch and they will be required to take care of me. That sounds silly written down, but I think the general dynamic does work. 

With that said, I would never want my children to be homeless, as long as I'm alive and my husband is alive they will be taken care of, I will try my hardest to leave them something.

I believe family should help each other through good and bad, we may not always like each other but if one needs something we all pitch in to help.

KatieLeigh1984
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 12:32 PM

It depends on the situation to be honest. These are just a few opinions, but it gives you the general idea...

I believe in taking care of kids in the event of:

-My need to be put into a nursing home or my death, they shouldn't be financially responsible for that and I will have money set aside to deal that kind of situation.

-If they are laid off and are unable to financially make ends meet after trying their hardest to support their family, then I would help them out.

I would NOT take care of my kids in the event of:

-They got arrested and were in jail and needed bailed out, I don't bail my children out of their legal issues.

-If they were laid off/lost their job/quit their job and just sat around and did nothing all day and didn't activity try to find a new job.


DVD
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 12:42 PM

this!

Quoting Joqui:

 I am responsible for my children until they are able to become responsible for themselves,

ShadowRaven
by Bronze Member on Dec. 9, 2010 at 12:42 PM

I agree. When my first husband passed away, I had no job (I had quit my job to take care of him, his disability was enough to support us). I was able to find work relatively quickly, however my income wasn't enough to pay the bills that I had fallen behind on while I was dealing with everything and looking for work. My mom let me move in with her for a few months while I got back on my feet, though I did help out with her bills/groceries as much as I could. However, I know for a fact that she wouldn't have helped me if I was destitute due to my own deliberate stupidity or laziness.

Quoting KatieLeigh1984:

It depends on the situation to be honest. These are just a few opinions, but it gives you the general idea...

I believe in taking care of kids in the event of:

-My need to be put into a nursing home or my death, they shouldn't be financially responsible for that and I will have money set aside to deal that kind of situation.

-If they are laid off and are unable to financially make ends meet after trying their hardest to support their family, then I would help them out.

I would NOT take care of my kids in the event of:

-They got arrested and were in jail and needed bailed out, I don't bail my children out of their legal issues.

-If they were laid off/lost their job/quit their job and just sat around and did nothing all day and didn't activity try to find a new job.


1bluediamond
by Gold Member on Dec. 9, 2010 at 12:48 PM

Thanks ladies. These are some really good answers.

pixie92
by Platinum Member on Dec. 9, 2010 at 12:49 PM

It would depend on why they are in the position. If they are just lazy, blowing their money, just not wanting to be an adult then no I am not helping them. If they have a loss of job, divorce, death or something that wasn't just because they were idiots then yes I am always here for them. Its not because I feel responsible for them it is because I love them and would want them to turn to me if they have a problem.

Char.965
by Member on Dec. 9, 2010 at 12:54 PM

Some parents think that they should leave their kids something for after they are gone. My husbands parents for example, already have their wills made out and what their children or grandchildren will receive after they are gone. My parents on the other hand have nothing now, so I do not expect to get anything from them. They asked me if I wanted their house and I told them no.

Now, if I needed money for whatever reason, I know that my parents would give me what they could. I have never and will never ask. My husbands parents just give us extra money for no reason all the time.

My grandmother used to say that she never wanted to be a burden on her children and she made sure that she wasn't. I on the other hand WANT to be a burden on my children. lol  I will make sure funeral arangements are taken care of and such, but I think that they should take care of me in my old age, if I need it.

blondekosmic15
by Ruby Member on Dec. 9, 2010 at 1:07 PM

I am a Christian...I believe it is my responsibility to pray for my children from conception til death {the latter if I out live them}. Following birth & during their formative yrs. my husband & I wisely set the ex. for our children * present responsible guidelines * offer lotz of praise & love when they choose positive & decent behavior. We instill morality in their hearts & teach kindness toward others in their personal lives. When they make mistakes as we all will due to our imperfections & sometimes poor judgment, then discipline is necessary accordingly. My husband & I will never turn our backs on our 2 sons irrespective of their age or personal choices good nor bad. Love is unconditional. I believe if parents practice what they preach so to speak...their children will respect them & will be willing to imitate their parents respectively thru out their lives.

Yes, children are a committment for life in terms of the initial guidelines we set for them but once they enter adulthood & this world filled w/ numerous challenges...the primary responsibility concerning their actions & choices are essentially their own. Parents plant the seed & hope n' pray for the best. If they fail to accomplish this than the reprocusssions & consequences are evident. Free will....

Leaving our children some memories in our will following our death is a sign of love compassion~

 


        Orkut Scraps - Christmas

smcclure2005
by Member on Dec. 9, 2010 at 6:42 PM

In my eyes when they turn 18 I stop being legally responsible but I do think and feel that I should always be their parent and always be there for them...and you can always be there for them and teach them lessons at the same time and that is what I plan on doing..

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