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What I'm really thinking: The bisexual woman

Posted by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:16 PM
  • 21 Replies

What I'm really thinking: The bisexual woman

'Lesbians will tell me it's a phase, and straights a passing "bi-curiosity" '

Really thinking: bisexual woman'It is hard for most people to accept that some of us have the capacity to love and lust after both sexes.' Illustration: Lo Cole

When I'm with a man, people assume I'm straight and when I'm with a woman they assume I'm a lesbian. Even if I tell them I'm bisexual, they will deny it (on my behalf). Lesbians will tell me it's a phase, and straights a passing "bi-curiosity". It is hard for most people to accept that some of us have the capacity to love and lust after both sexes.

I've known I'm bisexual for 20 years, yet it still makes me furious when people say they'd never date a bisexual – it's hard to imagine them quite so openly saying they could never date a black person. It happens often, mostly from women who love women, who should know better. The reasons often repeated are that we're promiscuous, indecisive, incapable of commitment – none of which I've seen more of in bisexual friends than in gay or straight ones. My favourite is that I'm self-indulgent in wanting to have my cake and eat it, which seems to come from a place of twisted jealousy. Lesbians fear me leaving them for men more than women; men get excited by the prospect of a threesome, then freak out when they realise that I like women for more than just their pleasure.

Most of my close female friends are bisexual, and have a variety of relationship histories. Long committed relationships with men and women. When I'm feeling arrogant, I think that our tribe of "fence-sitters" is the next evolution of human sexuality. One day people will realise there is more to love and lust than choosing a partner based on their genitals.

by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:16 PM
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Replies (1-10):
TruthSeeker.
by Milami on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:18 PM

 Hmmmm.

2hotTaco
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:31 PM

Do you agree with anything that was said? 

2hotTaco
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:32 PM

Have any of you thought these things about bi-sexuals?

lovinangels
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:41 PM

I don't really think about it. I'm straight. That's all I need to know. What other people do with their relationships isn't my business.

Quoting 2hotTaco:

Have any of you thought these things about bi-sexuals?


Layla19
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 6:20 AM

I describe myself as "kinda bi."  I date men, though, and although a possibility of a threesome exists (depending of course on what my man thinks of it at the time, and whether we can find the appopriate woman), I already know I cannot go below the belt.  Maybe people don't think I qualify as at all bi, but it's just a freaking label ffs.  I don't think any of those things of bisexuals, and it's silly to think a partner will leave you for the other gender; any partner could leave you at any time, regardless of who they're attracted to.  There's no reason to think they're more promiscuous, or anything else.  People are people.  Look hard enough, you might stumble across some extremely prudish bisexuals.

MLM247
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 4:25 PM

Why do you care what other people think about your sexual preferences? Get real. Nobody cares except the person who wants to relate to you in that way. Lots of people are bisexual. It is normal for a large percentage of the population in any country in the world. If you need to convince people to have sex with you then it is not going to be more than a casual sporting experience. If you think people fear you for any reason then start working on why you are having such thoughts.

Friday
by HRH of MJ on Sep. 15, 2011 at 4:27 PM

 I like this. I'm bi and used to know a lesbian psychologist who said she believed bisexual was the most true and natural way to be since we all have male and female hormones.

 


Thank God......it's Friday!!!

IhartU
by Gold Member on Sep. 15, 2011 at 4:40 PM

 I think that everyone isborn  bi-sexual and it's only through conditioning and brainwashing that people have come to think it's wrong and unnatural.

RowdyRoxyRainbw
by Gold Member on Sep. 15, 2011 at 5:07 PM

blowing kisses  thanks for the post.  Sometimes I feel like Im supposed to be ashamed of myself because of everyones reaction that "It's just a phase."  Or that Im just a slut.
 

RowdyRoxyRainbw
by Gold Member on Sep. 15, 2011 at 5:09 PM

By the way Im almost 30... I dont think it's a "phase" anymore...

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