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Breaking down a Toddler?

Posted by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 12:13 PM
  • 29 Replies

 My 2 1/2 year old is a STRONG minded child. Before her I just thought that kids who acted like her were spoiled and pampered used to getting their own way.

She talks back, threatens and flatly refuses to do things.

examples and my reaction.

If you ask her to pass you something thing that is within arms reach to her. She more often than now will say I cant reach it, then walk away - I make her give it to me, if she walks away I bring her back and stand her next to the item, until she gives in and gives it to me.

If she drops something and you ask her to pick it up. She will tell you no and walk away. - I bring her back and make her pick it up

If she drops something and asks you to pick it up, and you say no she will howl and scream like you just beat her. - I dont pick it up, if she's not going to get it I'll be darned if I am

Anything either of her brothers have she NEEDS, and will have a break down if not given to her. - if they haad it first, she has to wait her turn. Unless they want to give it to her.

She threatens and curses. (we curse but not around the kids, she has picked up some zingers from family/friends and tv - can't always protect their ears) She has threatened to bust her brothers butts, she tells people they are doing DOWN, she threatened to push a girl into a wall because the girl was taking her brother to school. She once told her brother to get the fuck away from her or else she was going to bust his face. - when she threatens , I let her know that she is not supposed to talk to people like that, she is not allowed to hit people. When she curses it's the same thing, she gets punished, time out, I make her leave the situation.

There are tons more situations I can add to this post, but the above is just from this morning. I DO NOT CONDONE her behavior or actions. I do NOT think it's cute. We do not act inappropriately infront of our children. Neither of my boys have ever acted this way, nor do they think its right.

 

When I have asked friends and family for advice I have been getting that she is strong willed. That in order to correct her behavior she needs to be broken down.... WTF does that mean? I believe in spanking although I do not. I am trying all that I know how, any advice is appreciated.

by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 12:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
meriana
by Ruby Member on Dec. 3, 2011 at 12:33 PM

Have you tried ignoring her when she behaves like that? She does sound strong-willed but she's also getting attention even if it is negative attention, it's still attention....you're focus is on her at that and for that period of time. Obviously  you do need to punish her for some things but if she's just haveing a melt-down because she isn't getting her own way, try ignoring her and just walking away. If she doesn't get your attention with that behavior, she'll eventually stop.

I.heart.my.kids
by Member on Dec. 3, 2011 at 12:36 PM

 yeah Im currently ignoring her now. My 4 y/o and I are watching The 3 stooges in the living room and she wants to watch Strawberry Shortcake. She sitting on the sofa next to me screaming and kicking, she even launched her sippy cup across the room.

Part of me says shes TWO she can't really be punished BUT other part says she is fully aware of what she is doing.

 

Quoting meriana:

Have you tried ignoring her when she behaves like that? She does sound strong-willed but she's also getting attention even if it is negative attention, it's still attention....you're focus is on her at that and for that period of time. Obviously  you do need to punish her for some things but if she's just haveing a melt-down because she isn't getting her own way, try ignoring her and just walking away. If she doesn't get your attention with that behavior, she'll eventually stop.

 

I.heart.my.kids
by Member on Dec. 3, 2011 at 12:37 PM

thanks for your input!

Peanutx3
by Ruby Member on Dec. 3, 2011 at 12:43 PM
I can't help. I didn't have that strong willed of a child but good luck.
Autumn19
by Member on Dec. 3, 2011 at 12:45 PM
I have a 4yr old that does all of the above. Let me tell you nothing has been working with this child. spanking does nothing. Recently ive been sending him to the room but thats not getting the results i want but it does make me feel better to do that than spank him. His problem is jealousy though because we have a baby due anytime. Does she just need extra attention? Just keep on her about following rules and it should work itself out :)
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meriana
by Ruby Member on Dec. 3, 2011 at 12:52 PM

yep, 2 yr olds are pretty smart and they do tend to push the envelope to see just what they can get away with, what they can't and what will get them attention. Overall, they are really awesome little people.

SarahLynn0315
by Silver Member on Dec. 3, 2011 at 12:53 PM
Take away everything she likes, and make her earn it back. One thing for every good interaction.
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I.heart.my.kids
by Member on Dec. 3, 2011 at 12:55 PM

 i do lean towards her wanting attention. But it's not like she needs MORE it's that she needs it ALL. It's almost like she needs to be in control of everything. She talks a lot, she adds her 2 cents into everything. She's def. a handful and tests peoples patience. She knows how to push buttons.

Right now I just served them lunch ( grilled cheese & milk) she doesnt want her brother to eat his. Her reason is BECAUSE! So she is rolling around on the floor fake crying - while Jay and I are eating our sandwiches.

Quoting Autumn19:

I have a 4yr old that does all of the above. Let me tell you nothing has been working with this child. spanking does nothing. Recently ive been sending him to the room but thats not getting the results i want but it does make me feel better to do that than spank him. His problem is jealousy though because we have a baby due anytime. Does she just need extra attention? Just keep on her about following rules and it should work itself out :)

 

iluv2meow
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 12:56 PM

Sometimes using award methods can help, not always but sometimes. Fact is it is hard when kids are in a certain mode to motivate and reward good behaviors. I have a five year old acting poorly to get attention. They do behaviors FOR attention. If they are getting it by acting badly they continue to do it. However how to get them behave better is paying more attention to when they actually behave appropriately. Something to ponder.

Cookie.Kisses09
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 12:57 PM
My 2.5 year old does similar things, but he doesn't push the envelope THAT far, lol. I just ignore his behavior or get on his level and explain why or why not he can or cannot do something or act a certain way. It helps :) some things I'm still at a loss as to how I should handle..
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