As someone who always falls for the bad guys, here's my take.
I know I'm probably wrong but in my mind a relationship with a bad boy is exciting. Whereas a good guy type is boring.
I also think for some women, including me, have some sort of daddy issue. I didn't have a dad growing up. I knowingly get with older, dangerous men.
In my case, I get with men that are almost a carbon copy of my dad. He left when I was 4. My mom shielded me from his behavior. I never knew what he really was until I was an adult.
Yet, every guy I've ever been with, according to my mom and family members, is just a younger version of my dad.
My sons' father and my last boyfriend, 2 different guys, were identical. Down to their jobs and illegal activities.
I can point out a bad guy in 5 seconds of meeting, but I still enter into a relationship with him.
I know why I do it. I have first hand knowledge as to why it's a bad idea. I just cannot stop myself from being attracted to the type and lifestyle.
I'm curious to see what your opinions are, if you do the same and your theories as to why.
Because the things you think are cool/attractive when you're a teenager aren't the same things you think are cool/attractive as an adult. Teenagers are notorious for making horrible decisions.
When was 15 i met a dude who was 18 and on probation. I'd never even gotten a detention. I thought he was the coolest person i'd ever met. We've been together for 15 years...for some people it works out i guess,
I sought after the bad boy type and dated a few as a rebellious thing. I'm still highly attracted to them and the sense of adventure and excitment they seem to have. Plus, the bad guy normally is pretty fit ;) lol
The bad boys I dated, were me pushing against my father and wanting nothing to do with my parent's opinions. I wanted to feel in control of my life and dating someone completely opposite of my dad was the way I attempted this (all during highschool, fyi)
My dh was a rebellious guy through the last bit of highschool and a couple years after (before we met. he graduated 4 years ahead of me). It ended up he is similar to my dad in many ways.
Quoting JoshRachelsMAMA:
It's connected to the dominant male figure of your childhood
This is what I think.
I had a shitty stepfather growing up and a non existent dad. I chose the good, nerdy type guy. I love him so much and we are perfect for eachother. I feel very blessed. I never liked the bad boys because I was always attracted to intelligence. I am also really dominant and would never put up with a guy who I perceived as bad.
I used to be this way, then I found a great guy who's a bad boy in the bedroom- problem solved. LOL To the public we look like two great people, we dont get bad looks, or get judged by passers-by. We look genuine, and we are- but as soon as the bedroom is closed and locked.. we become to very different people. It seems to work for both of us. I was never a bad girl, but was attracted to a "bad boy" type, and everyone would always be like WHAT THE?!?! Now, though, he fits my persona- in and out of the bedroom!
Now see, when I see a hott bad boy-type it gets my heart racing.. but i cant go back from where i am now. i have a great nerdy, smart, accountant type boyfriend= but his looks would never amount to his bad boy attitude in the bedroom.
Quoting ballerina.2006:
I sought after the bad boy type and dated a few as a rebellious thing. I'm still highly attracted to them and the sense of adventure and excitment they seem to have. Plus, the bad guy normally is pretty fit ;) lol
The bad boys I dated, were me pushing against my father and wanting nothing to do with my parent's opinions. I wanted to feel in control of my life and dating someone completely opposite of my dad was the way I attempted this (all during highschool, fyi)
My dh was a rebellious guy through the last bit of highschool and a couple years after (before we met. he graduated 4 years ahead of me). It ended up he is similar to my dad in many ways.
I think there's many reasons. Women might think bad boys are exciting and not dull. A lot of women like the idea of trying to fix a "broken" man. I read an article about the fact that one big thing women have to be protected from is rape and a dangerous man in their eyes is likely to be a better protector. Every hott guy in hollywood has done a movie where he's played some type of badass or guy living on the edge. It's just more exciting I suppose.
When I was attracted to the "bad boy" type I had low self esteem. I guess I thought because they thought I was sweet and nice that it would rub off on them and they would become better people. It felt good to feel needed. Ahhh... young and dumb...
My dad was great growing up and supported me through whatever. I didn't have "daddy" issues. My self-esteem issues came from my peers and being bullied in Middle school. I was an ugly duckling so to speak.
I didnt date for four years. I focused on me and my son. I faced the fact that even if my DS didn't know the man he would still be affected during the brake up. Kids know when your upset. I got into college and focused on ME. You needto spend time focusing on you and your child. Go to counciling if you need to. I managed to do it without seeing anyone. I now have a wonderful man who is going to adopt my son and be a real father. He treats me like gold.
Quoting hippiechic980:
This why I have done it my whole life...would you care to share how to stop the cycle?? I am still doing it and just can't seem to help myself.
Quoting FrogSalad:
I think it's so (general) you can focus on 'fixing' him instead of fixing yourself.
At least that's why I used to be attracted to bad boys. I'm reformed, though.
Is Yoga a religion?
- EvilPrincess
on Feb. 6, 2012 at 8:04 AM