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Men, Abortion, and Child Support

Posted by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 2:22 PM
  • 106 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Which more closely fits your views?

Options:

Men should have equal say on abortion and should always be obligated to pay child support

Men should have an equal say on abortion and should be able to opt out of child support/parental rights if their desire was to have an abortion

Men should not get a say on abortion and should still be required to pay child support

Men should not get a say on abortion and should be able to opt out of child support/parental rights if their desire was to have an abortion

Other (explain)


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 116

View Results

A page that I follow on Facebook asked what his followers think about men having a say in whether a woman has an abortion. Most of the answers were along the lines of "her body, her choice" but many responses (from men, primarily) also stated that the man should have an equal say and if the man wants nothing to do with the child, or would have chosen to abort, that he should not be obligated to pay child support. One man said that a woman choosing to have his baby after an unintended pregnancy forces him into a life of financial burdon and is a form of slavery. 

I'm just curious what your thoughts are on this? How much say should a man have on abortion, and if it's the option he would choose, and the mother chooses to carry to term and parent the child, should the man have the right to opt out of child support and other parental rights? 

Is there an area in this situation where a double standard is held? 

ETA: Do you believe it is fair to a man if he gets no say, but is forced to pay child support for 18 years? 

by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 2:22 PM
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Replies (1-10):
TCgirlatheart
by TC on Feb. 8, 2012 at 2:30 PM
8 moms liked this
I think men have just as much responsibility in preventing pregnancy as women do. Yes, there are shitty people out there that lie and manipulate. All the more reason that each person in a sexual relationship should be responsible for preventing pregnancy.

ETA: until men can carry a pregnancy to term in their own body. They get no say on abortion.
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LindaClement
by Thatwoman on Feb. 8, 2012 at 2:32 PM
3 moms liked this

Men, who don't want children, should either keep it in their pants or ensure they are personally using adequately-effective birth control methods.

heidimoose134
by Momma Moose on Feb. 8, 2012 at 2:32 PM

I agree with this. I get tired of hearing that the woman is soley responsible in preventing pregnancy. 

Quoting TCgirlatheart:

I think men have just as much responsibility in preventing pregnancy as women do. Yes, there are shitty people out there that lie and manipulate. All the more reason that each person in a sexual relationship should be responsible for preventing pregnancy.


Anastazia975
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 2:36 PM
2 moms liked this

I think it is both parties responsibility to prevent pregnancy. I do not think the man should necessarily have a say in whether or not there is an abortion. But, I also feel that they should be able to opt out of caring for said child. Which means, they can't take it back later.

heidimoose134
by Momma Moose on Feb. 8, 2012 at 2:41 PM


Quoting Anastazia975:

I think it is both parties responsibility to prevent pregnancy. I do not think the man should necessarily have a say in whether or not there is an abortion. But, I also feel that they should be able to opt out of caring for said child. Which means, they can't take it back later.

I don't know how I feel about what I highlighted. I think that if both parents can agree that if he doesn't want to pay then he should be free to give up his rights, but at the same time I have a hard time advocating a parent having no obligation to make sure the child they helped create has food in their stomach and a roof over their head. 

SilverStrand88
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 2:47 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting LindaClement:

Men, who don't want children, should either keep it in their pants or ensure they are personally using adequately-effective birth control methods.

Shouldn't that same logic apply to women also then?

Anastazia975
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 2:48 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting heidimoose134:


Quoting Anastazia975:

I think it is both parties responsibility to prevent pregnancy. I do not think the man should necessarily have a say in whether or not there is an abortion. But, I also feel that they should be able to opt out of caring for said child. Which means, they can't take it back later.

I don't know how I feel about what I highlighted. I think that if both parents can agree that if he doesn't want to pay then he should be free to give up his rights, but at the same time I have a hard time advocating a parent having no obligation to make sure the child they helped create has food in their stomach and a roof over their head. 

And I do see your point. But I feel that if the child was wanted by both parties in the first place there really would not be an issue. I guess I am referring to those parentals that are dead beats and never see the child, or pay in the first place. Conversely, I am also all for if the mother to be agrees, if she doesn't want the child, but dad does, if she is willing to carry, and give birth, she should be able to give up her rights as well. But, only if she is willing to do so. There are so many people in this that should never be parents. It's a sad situation all around.

LindaClement
by Thatwoman on Feb. 8, 2012 at 2:52 PM

Yes, obviously. 

But the question wasn't 'should women have a say in abortion and child support'... Women who don't want children should either keep it in their pants, use adequately-effective birth control, have an abortion or give their child up for adoption.

No child wants to be unwanted.

Quoting SilverStrand88:


Quoting LindaClement:

Men, who don't want children, should either keep it in their pants or ensure they are personally using adequately-effective birth control methods.

Shouldn't that same logic apply to women also then?


heidimoose134
by Momma Moose on Feb. 8, 2012 at 2:56 PM


Quoting Anastazia975:


Quoting heidimoose134:


Quoting Anastazia975:

I think it is both parties responsibility to prevent pregnancy. I do not think the man should necessarily have a say in whether or not there is an abortion. But, I also feel that they should be able to opt out of caring for said child. Which means, they can't take it back later.

I don't know how I feel about what I highlighted. I think that if both parents can agree that if he doesn't want to pay then he should be free to give up his rights, but at the same time I have a hard time advocating a parent having no obligation to make sure the child they helped create has food in their stomach and a roof over their head. 

And I do see your point. But I feel that if the child was wanted by both parties in the first place there really would not be an issue. I guess I am referring to those parentals that are dead beats and never see the child, or pay in the first place. Conversely, I am also all for if the mother to be agrees, if she doesn't want the child, but dad does, if she is willing to carry, and give birth, she should be able to give up her rights as well. But, only if she is willing to do so. There are so many people in this that should never be parents. It's a sad situation all around.

I agree with the first part of your reply. But it's not always black and white in that department either. My SO and I weren't living together for most of my son's first year of life. I didn't legally go after him because I was on the fence about mending the relationship and making things work. When I was really starting to have a hard time and started asking him for a little financial help to make sure his son was able to have food and diapers he got extremely butthurt that I would dare ask him for money and I was lucky to squeeze $100 out of him every paycycle. Sometimes I think that if the parents don't stay together that there are cases where the non-custodial parent will try to opt out of paying for child support to spite the custodial parent. Shoot.. I'm living with SO again because I decided to try and make things work and we're still having an issue with him taking the responsibility to get his son's diapers. Sigh. He wanted our son when we found out I was pregnant, but he doesn't want to take the responsibility seriously. 

I think that if both parties can agree that one parent will be out of the picture completely, financially and physically, that it's not an issue. 

EireLass
by Ruby Member on Feb. 8, 2012 at 2:57 PM
3 moms liked this

I'm thinking men don't really know the words to the "Hokey Pokey".....

"You put your penis in, you take your wallet out......"

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