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Teachers tell parents: ‘Raise your own damned kids’

Posted by on Feb. 14, 2012 at 12:17 PM
  • 91 Replies

This is from an Australian website....Thoughts? 

teacher 380x380 Teachers tell parents: Raise your own damned kids

.

School is back for most now and there is an audible sigh of relief from parents as their kids rush back into the classroom for another year.

But wait, there seems to be some confusion over just who is raising the kids.

So, let’s be clear.

Teachers are not substitute parents. Repeat after me: teachers are not responsible for the bits parents miss out. They are not there to pick up the slack if parents can’t be bothered doing it right to begin with.

Teachers exist to guide young minds in the spirit of discovery. They help our kids learn, to be sure, but in the subjects we accept they have expertise in. Like grammar and mathematics, geography and history. Leave it to them to broaden the mind and parents to mould the manner of the child. Makes sense to me.

But, you guessed it, it doesn’t always work this way.

I spent more than a year working in education, privy to an astounding array of case studies in schools of friction, complaints and praise. Some of it warranted. Much of it was not.

But what struck me the most was the never-ending cavalcade of complaints from parents who blamed schools and teachers for everything from lack of discipline through to the music their child was listening to. They thought their duties as a parent stopped when the child was born and resumed only to berate their surrogates, the teachers, when school started.

Which is why I wasn’t surprised to read this. News.com.au reports:

Parents are shirking the responsibility of disciplining their kids, turning teachers into makeshift mums and dads.

A major Herald Sun survey of Victorian teachers found three-quarters believe parents have unreasonable expectations about the school’s role in raising kids.

And the stresses are showing, with nearly half of teachers surveyed admitting they had considered resigning over the past 12 months.

Educators say parents have become too fixated on being “friends” with their children, and are increasingly neglecting their duty to enforce boundaries.

One of the points teachers made in the survey was that parents thought the powers of the teacher extended beyond school hours and into the child’s home. In Victoria alone, parents brought in 200 pages of their children’s Facebook transcripts and said ‘I’ll leave this for you to sort out’.

Did they not realise the Internet is available everywhere and, very often these days, children use it first in the home?

The problem arises in territory disputes. Schools must discipline their students to make things work, but are their efforts always reinforced at home? And parents may make inroads in behaviour at home, but how much is undone at school?

The reality is that parents and schools exist in a shared custody arrangement of our nation’s children.

During the week children will spend almost as much time with their teachers as they will their parents. So of course it’s a bonus if Australia’s teachers take it upon themselves to make their charges the most well-rounded young minds and characters they can. But if parents just come to expect it, and in so doing abdicate their responsibilities as guardians, then we’re all in a little bit of strife.

And these parents may well be the same ones who say the teachers are terrible, overpaid and lazy.

Newsflash: you can’t have it both ways.

Where does parenting stop and teaching begin, where should the line be drawn?



http://www.mamamia.com.au/parenting/teachers-to-parents-raise-your-own-damned-kids/


by on Feb. 14, 2012 at 12:17 PM
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Replies (1-10):
SuperChicken
by on Feb. 14, 2012 at 12:20 PM

I agree. 

bookmommy
by on Feb. 14, 2012 at 12:23 PM
2 moms liked this

Teachers and schools should not be expected to raise kids. They are there to make sure the kids learn-that's all. But in this country, schools are encroaching farther and farther into "nanny state" roles and overstepping their bounds past traditional learning.

UpSheRises
by Platinum Member on Feb. 14, 2012 at 12:27 PM
1 mom liked this

Teachers often complain that parents are uninvolved, then, when parents want to get involved they complain that parents complain too much.

I think the problem is that teaching and parenting are both hard jobs and it's easier to blame the "other" for what you don't like than to admit responsibility and begin to solve the problem.

 

EmmaGlenn20
by on Feb. 14, 2012 at 12:28 PM

Agreed.

Tanya93
by on Feb. 14, 2012 at 12:31 PM
1 mom liked this

Big difference between involved and expecting you to solve problems that should be solved by parents.


'Mrs.   I don't want my daughter talking to that James boy.   Make sure they do not talk in class."

Really?   That is my job?

Quoting UpSheRises:

Teachers often complain that parents are uninvolved, then, when parents want to get involved they complain that parents complain too much.

I think the problem is that teaching and parenting are both hard jobs and it's easier to blame the "other" for what you don't like than to admit responsibility and begin to solve the problem.



katy_kay08
by on Feb. 14, 2012 at 12:32 PM

I agree.  

lga1965
by Ruby Member on Feb. 14, 2012 at 12:33 PM
3 moms liked this

 

Quoting bookmommy:

Teachers and schools should not be expected to raise kids. They are there to make sure the kids learn-that's all. But in this country, schools are encroaching farther and farther into "nanny state" roles and overstepping their bounds past traditional learning.

 PROVE IT!

Teachers here do want parents to raise their kids to be polite and respectful and actually try to learn in school. Unfortunately, parents seem to think they don't have to encourage their kids to respect schools,teachers and learning In the USA parents are too busy to raise their children right and the parents have a need to bash education and teachers---that old "authority figure hate".How many times do Moms post here about wanting to tell off their kids' teachers? TOO often. How many of them think they need to "pull" their kids out of school so they can teach them THEIR way---clearly a need to be in control and evidence that they have a problem with anyone who is educated and in charge of a classroom.If kids are raised right, they will want to learn and behave in school. Then teachers can do their job---TEACH.

UpSheRises
by Platinum Member on Feb. 14, 2012 at 12:40 PM
2 moms liked this

I don't think a parent asking for something is a problem, mostly they are just asking for help. I think the teacher, has a responsibility to provide assistance whether its a referral to the school counselor for a interpersonal problem their child is having or to the principal or whatever.

I guess i just don't see addressing families concerns as a pain in the ass, it just comes with the territory when they work you do serves children and families.

Quoting Tanya93:

Big difference between involved and expecting you to solve problems that should be solved by parents.

 

'Mrs.   I don't want my daughter talking to that James boy.   Make sure they do not talk in class."

Really?   That is my job?

Quoting UpSheRises:

Teachers often complain that parents are uninvolved, then, when parents want to get involved they complain that parents complain too much.

I think the problem is that teaching and parenting are both hard jobs and it's easier to blame the "other" for what you don't like than to admit responsibility and begin to solve the problem.

 

 


bookmommy
by on Feb. 14, 2012 at 12:43 PM
1 mom liked this

You're absolutely right. "Pulling" a child out of public school DOES mean a need to teach the children our way. I'm tired of the lackluster teachers who wait for tenure so they can sit back and parrot whatever the teachers unions are spouting these days.

I don't have a problem with educated people at all. I am myself. I have a problem with other people thinking they know what's best for my child.
Why don't you "PROVE" that educators care about how the kids in their care turn out past the 9 months they have them in their classroom? That's as much a blanket statement as you gave.

Clearly there are educators who care, and parents who care but ultimately, it's the parents who have the most impact over their own children for good or bad. Parents should be raising the kids NOT the educators.

Quoting lga1965:

 

Quoting bookmommy:

Teachers and schools should not be expected to raise kids. They are there to make sure the kids learn-that's all. But in this country, schools are encroaching farther and farther into "nanny state" roles and overstepping their bounds past traditional learning.

 PROVE IT!

Teachers here do want parents to raise their kids to be polite and respectful and actually try to learn in school. Unfortunately, parents seem to think they don't have to encourage their kids to respect schools,teachers and learning In the USA parents are too busy to raise their children right and the parents have a need to bash education and teachers---that old "authority figure hate".How many times do Moms post here about wanting to tell off their kids' teachers? TOO often. How many of them think they need to "pull" their kids out of school so they can teach them THEIR way---clearly a need to be in control and evidence that they have a problem with anyone who is educated and in charge of a classroom.If kids are raised right, they will want to learn and behave in school. Then teachers can do their job---TEACH.


DivingDiva
by Gold Member on Feb. 14, 2012 at 1:01 PM

When my DD started 1st grade the first thing the teacher said to me when we met was "Now I am going to be your child's 'other" mom".  I knew right at that moment that this teacher and I were never going to see eye to eye.  I don't care how many hours a week this woman spent with my kid - I am her mom.  I think a teacher should stick to teaching and leave the parenting to the parents.  It turned out this teacher wasn't so great at the teaching thing, either. 

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