The French Government Wants To Tone My Vagina (PIOG)

[katy_kay08]

This is a long article so I'll just post the highlights...

The French Government Wants To Tone My Vagina

Inside my amazing and embarrassing postnatal “perineal re-education” class, paid for by la France.

By Claire Lundberg|

Link

There are two methods for the re-education itself, manual and biofeedback, and most kinés use a combination of the two. The first is just what it sounds like: The therapist inserts two fingers into your wuzza and talks you through a series of exercises designed to give you better control over your muscles. Can you, for example, contract your vagina and pull her fingers in and up? You may find this cringingly embarrassing, especially when afterward she tells you, “C’est assez faible” (“It’s rather weak”) and that you’re going to need more than 10 sessions.

The biofeedback method is somewhat less embarrassing but a little more terrifying, in that it requires buying a “sonde,” or (as it says on the package) an electronic vaginal re-educator. A sonde is a little dildo with electrodes coming out of it that the kiné inserts into your shnush, then hooks up to a laptop that records the force of your internal contractions. You can watch how hard your muscles are working on the screen and even play little video games using the sonde as a joystick. I played a Pole Position game at my last session, and a friend played what I can only call Cooter Pac-Man.

I finished up my most recent session with a set of moneymaker burpees, in which I had to try to contract my muscles halfway, then fully, then halfway, then relax. And I totally sucked at this. My daughter, who is 3 months old now, is just learning hand-eye coordination, straining to close her hand around a toy in front of her. I knew just how she felt as I tried to get my bajinga to obey; up until that moment, I couldn’t remember trying to voluntarily make these muscles move. The whole thing made me laugh, one of those combination laughs of embarrassment, absurdity, and despair that I find myself emitting all the time in France. (I’m sure there’s a compound German word for it.) It was so hard, and so ridiculous—what was I doing with no pants on in thisHaussmanian office building while a strange French woman kept telling me to breathe and contract, “soufflez … et contractez!” over and over again?

...But you know what? Despite the occasional embarrassment, these sessions actually work. There haven’t been extensive studies done, but what studies exist show that la rééducation significantly reduces incontinence and pelvic pain at nine months after giving birth. Frankly, I’m happy there’s a medical professional paying attention to what happened down there. Rééducation périnéale gets scoffed at in American and Canadianpublications as one of the most lurid examples of the indulgent French welfare state, but as far as I can tell, we do exactly nothing in the United States to help women get back into shape after giving birth.

---------

Should US doctors look at including this type of therapy in their postnatal care?  

[eema.gray]

I first read about this shortly after my son was born (four years ago).  It's a facinating idea.  However, there are also indications that the simple excercise of squts properly performed can accomplish virtually the same goals without the embarressment of the French "reeducation" therapy.

[jewels5525]

They use that here for women who have prolapses after giving birth.  Mine isn't very severe so we just work with kegels.

This is nothing new, although the article is comical.  

[Rubberbiscuit]

Did anyone else have the urge to do kegels when they read this? 

I've birthed 5 large babies, I've lost a lot of tone.  I think it's an interesting idea, but I would be uncomfortable going to a therapist. 

[SLTmom]

Yeah. That's just what this website needs. Some fighting over the subject of whether Rééducation Périnéal should be available to those on PA.

[Veni.Vidi.Vici.]

Happy I had c sections! All of my friends and family members who gave birth in the past 5 years have had aa miniscule amount of tone therapy.

[katy_kay08]

you are the only one that brought PA into the discussion.  This is not a "therapy" offered to most women in the course of their post natal care, regardless of their insurance or lack thereof.  Isn't that interesting enough without making it another PA post?  

Quoting SLTmom:

Yeah. That's just what this website needs. Some fighting over the subject of whether Rééducation Périnéal should be available to those on PA.

[SLTmom]

I'm not trying to make a PA post. There was a portion of the article which mentioned the "indulgent French welfare state". It happened to catch my eye.

I was also being a bit tongue in cheek, but forgot my usual ";-p" to indicate sarcasm.

On a personal note, I really avoid PA debates, I find them to always degrade into hurtful, mean spiteful mud slingers.

Quoting katy_kay08:

[Woodbabe]

Ooh lala do we get a hot French doctor?

[ms.sophsmom]

Lmao I actually DID them. From wt I know.. my vag is properly re educated lol I dnt c a Dr for it though.... this just seems.. odd

Quoting Rubberbiscuit:

Did anyone else have the urge to do kegels when they read this? 

I've birthed 5 large babies, I've lost a lot of tone.  I think it's an interesting idea, but I would be uncomfortable going to a therapist. 

[jlo1313]

 YEP - I did them the whole time I read. 

 

Quoting Rubberbiscuit:

Did anyone else have the urge to do kegels when they read this? 

I've birthed 5 large babies, I've lost a lot of tone.  I think it's an interesting idea, but I would be uncomfortable going to a therapist.