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Current Events & Hot Topics Current Events & Hot Topics

Apparently dad is the most important parent.

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Question: Who is the most important parent?

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MOM

DAD


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Total Votes: 297

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Parenting -Who is more Important, Mom or Dad?

U. S. Divorce statistics from the U.S. Census bureau, the National Center for Health Statistics and Americans for divorce reform report Fatherless homes account for:

• 63% of youth suicides
• 90% of homelessness/run away
• 85% of children with behavior problems
• 71% of high school drop-outs
• 85% of youths in prison
• 50% of teen mothers

Another Study reports:

Children reared in fatherless homes are more than twice as likely to become male adolescent delinquents or teen mothers, according to a significant new study by two economists at the University of California, Santa Barbara.

The Texas Department of Corrections reports:

85% of Youths in Prison Grew Up in Fatherless Home

All of these studies seem to indicate the problems arise from the absence of the father in the household. My contention is children need both parents. Perhaps these issues may be due to the breakdown of the family structure; and the absence of either parent could be a contributing factor. These assumptions are not really supported by the statistics because the U.S. Census bureau and U.S. Department of Commerce also report that 85% of custodial parents are women. Which means in single parent households where the father is custodial parent, that figure is only 15%. These statistics and the way they are reported imply the Father is more important to the household than the Mother.

More studies should be directed to the impact of divorce on children and how to keep a pseudo family structure in place for children of divorced parents. Some remedial actions that could be taken include; courts encouraging joint custody arrangements, mandatory parenting classes for both Mother and Father in divorce cases and general public education of parenting responsibilities.

http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Parenting_Who_is_More_Important_Mom_or_Dad.html

by on Mar. 25, 2012 at 9:39 AM
Replies (31-40):
futureshock
by Ruby Member on Mar. 25, 2012 at 10:14 AM


Quoting FromAtoZ:

I grew up in a fatherless home as did my brother.

Neither of us are in any of those categories.

Both parents are important in a child's life but it does depend on the individuals.

I don't buy in to stats and stories like these.  More times than not they gather their 'information' from the poorest of families and the weakest of individuals.

That does not paint an overall picture of the true lives of many.


What EXACTLY do you think those statistics are saying?

lilbit53009
by on Mar. 25, 2012 at 10:15 AM
Mom!! I know plenty of people who grew up with no fathers and they're fine. But I know a few who have grown up with no mom (my SO for example)...and they have all sorts of issues.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
futureshock
by Ruby Member on Mar. 25, 2012 at 10:17 AM


Quoting momma2b2008:

I think that kids need a positive MALE role model! But that doesn't mean it HAS to be dad!

But it is better for the child if the person IS dad, in general, as long as he is a decent, loving person.

teri4lance
by Silver Member on Mar. 25, 2012 at 10:20 AM
3 moms liked this
Its not the lack of a father as much as it is the lack of a complete parenting team. While we all know there are cases of women having to get out of dangerous relationships resulting in single parenthood....but I contend that in the population of single parents, they are the minority. I certainly support removing children and self from abusive situations and agree that in that case it is preferable to accept what you lose with a parenting team to be safe.
More often single parenthood is the result of poor choices....and it is the child who receives the short end of the stick.
2 loving parents in a stable relationship remains the very best way to raise children and should begin as everyone's goal.
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futureshock
by Ruby Member on Mar. 25, 2012 at 10:20 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting FromAtoZ:


Quoting ButterMeUp:

 I think you're an idiot for assuming my father was around instead of asking why I felt that way. If you have a question, voice it instead of barking and bitching.

My father has NEVER been in my life. Until my step father came around I was fatherless.

I know exactly what Im talking about.

Quoting punky3175:

And who decides which fathers are supportive? I can guarantee you that my children ate better off with me full time than they would be with their father. He gets then every other weekend and is a part of their lives but he and his wife are selfish and the kids interests are not always taken into consideration.

For the first seven years of my life I was in a fatherless home and think it was better. My mom stayed in a miserable marriage in order to support me. Luckily I had a strong female role model to look up to which has made me the woman and mom I am today. And as a result I am a strong independent woman and great mom that my kids can look up to.

I hate sweeping generalizations especially from people who have apparently never lived it.


Quoting ButterMeUp:

Wow, Ive always thought the father was the most important parent and apparently I'm right. Sure can moms give birth and breast feed but every female mamal(SC, looks like it's wrong) can do that, its nothing special. The bond thats created between a father and his child is so important and we are noticing a turn in society because being a father is no longer first in a men's lives. Its hard for a single moms to do everything. You cant be a mom and a dad.


Fathers proved something mothers just cant. Men have got to wake up and realize their laziness is a contributing factor. Often times children are placed with the female parent because "they are most important" but clearly our way of thinking is wrong. Children should be with their supportive fathers full time not the other way around.

 

Your situation is proof positive that situations are different.  The stats don't take your individual situation in to account so to think they are 'right' versus just a bunch of numbers is not necessarily wise.

And she is not an idiot.  Your post above sounded rather general and not directly related to your own situation.  Perhaps you should have stated you were speaking from experience.

But keep in mind, not every one's experience is the same as yours.

How are these numbers not right?

Fatherless homes account for:

• 63% of youth suicides
• 90% of homelessness/run away
• 85% of children with behavior problems
• 71% of high school drop-outs
• 85% of youths in prison
• 50% of teen mothers


3gr8tKids
by Bronze Member on Mar. 25, 2012 at 10:24 AM

seems to me fathers are the ones mostly likely to be MIA.

 

ejsmom4604
by Silver Member on Mar. 25, 2012 at 10:24 AM
1 mom liked this

I refuse to vote because I see both positions as equally important. Moms and dads bring a balance to a child each teaching things that are generally (not always) more specific to their gender. In general women tend to be more empathetic and nurturing and express emotion, where men tend to be more logic focused and go straight for the solution of a problem. 

This is not always true and individuals will and do vary, but in general it is the case. Children need both. A mother or mother figure and a father or father figure. My oldest, E, didn't have his bio dad in the picture EVER. My dad was his father figure until I met my hubby, and now he has a dad whom he loves and looks up to and all the good stuff. My kids need both, I needed both, my brother needed both, and every person I know needed both. Did they always get both? No. But they all have the choice on how their lives will turn out. 

stacymomof2
by Ruby Member on Mar. 25, 2012 at 10:25 AM
4 moms liked this

Oh bs.  That study doesn't take into account hundreds of other factors.  Correlation is not cause.

PurdueMom
by Sherri on Mar. 25, 2012 at 10:27 AM
4 moms liked this

I would like to see how these statistics were determined.  If the study had compared an equal amount of children growing up in a motherless home to an equal amount of children growing up in a fatherless home and got the same results, I could see the OP's point.... but the amount of children growing up without fathers far exceeds those growing up without mothers... so it just makes sense those numbers are going to be skewed towards the fatherless.

Lizardannie1966
by on Mar. 25, 2012 at 10:28 AM
1 mom liked this

It's very rare that I buy into stats, regardless of where they come from.

IMO and experiences, both parents are equally important though perhaps for different reasons.

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