Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Current Events & Hot Topics Current Events & Hot Topics

Single mothers burdening their own parents with child care EDIT

Posted by on Apr. 6, 2012 at 7:09 PM
  • 190 Replies
1 mom liked this


Shouldn't people think ahead before having children about who will be caring for them while the mother/father is at work?  Why do so many people think it is ok to burden their own older parents with THEIR responsibilities?

Yes, some people thought ahead and had something all planned out before having the child but then the plans fell apart for some reason.  This thread is not talking about those situations.


Quote:

California's Budget Cuts Set Up Painful Dilemma For Single Parents

Child Care Program Cuts Leave Working Poor Parents Struggling


Daniella Scally

SANTA ROSA, Calif. -- Every time she pulls away from her parent's house, leaving behind her 3-year-old daughter, Angelina, as she heads to work at a local hospital, Jenny Abundis wonders what will happen while she is gone.

She worries things will not go well.

Her father has cancer, which saps his energy and requires a regimen of shots that puts him in ill temper. Her stepmother suffers debilitating liver problems. Often depressed and ceaselessly overwhelmed, they must divide their attentions between Abundis' daughter and her sister's two little children, whose volatile natures reflect early years in a home beset by drugs and violence.

But even as nervousness gnaws at her, and even as she notices disturbing changes in her daughter -- curse words emerging in her limited vocabulary, a clinginess that was not there before -- Abundis says she has no choice but to leave Angelina in this arrangement.

Though Abundis' income qualifies her for subsidized child care, Angelina is among roughly 200,000 eligible California children who are stuck on a waitlist. For many families in the queue, the wait is effectively interminable, a veritable purgatory without end, the result of the aggressive state budget cutting that has defined the aftermath of the Great Recession.

to read the rest:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/04/child-care-cuts-california_n_1402819.html

ETA:

If a grandparent wants to watch the grandchildren then it OBVIOUSLY isn't a burden.  This thread is about burdening grandparents with the responsibility, which is very different than having a willing grandparent watch the grandchildren.


by on Apr. 6, 2012 at 7:09 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
futureshock
by Ruby Member on Apr. 6, 2012 at 7:11 PM

bump

punky3175
by Punky on Apr. 6, 2012 at 7:16 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm really starting to think you have something against single mothers. I fit into the "this thread is not about those situations" category.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
survivorinohio
by René on Apr. 6, 2012 at 7:18 PM

I feel this lol

Godgaveme4
by Platinum Member on Apr. 6, 2012 at 7:18 PM
6 moms liked this


Quoting futureshock:

 

Shouldn't people think ahead before having children about who will be caring for them while the mother/father is at work?  Why do so many people think it is ok to burden their own older parents with THEIR responsibilities?

Yes, some people thought ahead and had something all planned out before having the child but then the plans fell apart for some reason.  This thread is not talking about those situations.

 

I was that single mother for a short time.  I now that my parents did not see watching my son as a burden.  They supported me working full-time and goingto school for full credits at night.  They loved watching him and spending time with him.  In fact they have a wonderful relationship now.  I also had family friends in our town that would offer to take him becasue their kids were older and they wanted to spend time with a baby.  It was sweet and i appreciated it.

Yes there are people who assume their family owes it tot hem ot help.  BUT then there are those families that pitch in becasue that is what the family does.

The_Doodle
by Member on Apr. 6, 2012 at 7:19 PM
11 moms liked this

The grandparents can always say no if they truly don't want to care for the kids...

MissElissa21
by Bronze Member on Apr. 6, 2012 at 7:19 PM
I'm not single and my parents take my kids so I don't have to pay for daycare. I'm lucky enough to only need someone once a week or so and they love hanging out with the kids. I have enough family willing to rotate them so nobody is overwhelmed and I would never ask someone to take them if they were having hardships. People should think about these things, but we all know how much thought many people put into having kids.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
charleyd68
by Platinum Member on Apr. 6, 2012 at 7:20 PM
5 moms liked this

I don't see where she has a choice. And a great deal of parents, came by that way by  total surprise. I agree their situation is bleak, a lot of Grandparents, my self included do it for the betterment of their children. While I'll admit I some times wish to be left alone, we recognize that the parents need to work, and with the abuse that comes to light from some places, I am not comfortable with day care!

survivorinohio
by René on Apr. 6, 2012 at 7:22 PM
3 moms liked this


Quoting survivorinohio:

I feel this lol

I was responding to the article.  After reading your preface I want to say that life doesnt always present as they think it will and i hold no bitterness about it.   I dont stand in judgement of them I know its hard to be sure your plans are realized.  Life is full of unexpected curves.

I am watching all these kids and get weary though.   lol.

How far you go in life depends on your being: tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of both the weak and strong.  Because someday in life you would have been one or all of these.  GeorgeWashingtonCarver


survivorinohio
by René on Apr. 6, 2012 at 7:23 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting charleyd68:

I don't see where she has a choice. And a great deal of parents, came by that way by  total surprise. I agree their situation is bleak, a lot of Grandparents, my self included do it for the betterment of their children. While I'll admit I some times wish to be left alone, we recognize that the parents need to work, and with the abuse that comes to light from some places, I am not comfortable with day care!

I know I dont want these grandchildren in daycare.  My choice.  

How far you go in life depends on your being: tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of both the weak and strong.  Because someday in life you would have been one or all of these.  GeorgeWashingtonCarver


katy_kay08
by on Apr. 6, 2012 at 7:25 PM
5 moms liked this

circumstances change and many are struggling now where they may not have been struggling at the time they decided to have children.  

Single father's are clearly also "burdening" grandparents with the care of their children, yet you and others seem to only focus on the single women in the mix.  

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)