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Single mothers burdening their own parents with child care EDIT

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Shouldn't people think ahead before having children about who will be caring for them while the mother/father is at work?  Why do so many people think it is ok to burden their own older parents with THEIR responsibilities?

Yes, some people thought ahead and had something all planned out before having the child but then the plans fell apart for some reason.  This thread is not talking about those situations.


Quote:

California's Budget Cuts Set Up Painful Dilemma For Single Parents

Child Care Program Cuts Leave Working Poor Parents Struggling


Daniella Scally

SANTA ROSA, Calif. -- Every time she pulls away from her parent's house, leaving behind her 3-year-old daughter, Angelina, as she heads to work at a local hospital, Jenny Abundis wonders what will happen while she is gone.

She worries things will not go well.

Her father has cancer, which saps his energy and requires a regimen of shots that puts him in ill temper. Her stepmother suffers debilitating liver problems. Often depressed and ceaselessly overwhelmed, they must divide their attentions between Abundis' daughter and her sister's two little children, whose volatile natures reflect early years in a home beset by drugs and violence.

But even as nervousness gnaws at her, and even as she notices disturbing changes in her daughter -- curse words emerging in her limited vocabulary, a clinginess that was not there before -- Abundis says she has no choice but to leave Angelina in this arrangement.

Though Abundis' income qualifies her for subsidized child care, Angelina is among roughly 200,000 eligible California children who are stuck on a waitlist. For many families in the queue, the wait is effectively interminable, a veritable purgatory without end, the result of the aggressive state budget cutting that has defined the aftermath of the Great Recession.

to read the rest:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/04/child-care-cuts-california_n_1402819.html

ETA:

If a grandparent wants to watch the grandchildren then it OBVIOUSLY isn't a burden.  This thread is about burdening grandparents with the responsibility, which is very different than having a willing grandparent watch the grandchildren.


by on Apr. 6, 2012 at 7:09 PM
Replies (21-30):
GoddessNDaRuff
by Silver Member on Apr. 6, 2012 at 8:08 PM
2 moms liked this

And people post and bitch about this topic but then moan and bitch about the breakdown of families and why aren't families close anymore. My parents and grandparents (as well as Dh's) wish we were closer so they could babysit everyday and keep them overnight on weekends. That's one of the things they were looking forward to as grandparents.

I wonder if it's offensive when married parents use grandparents for child care?

Quoting charleyd68:

I don't see where she has a choice. And a great deal of parents, came by that way by  total surprise. I agree their situation is bleak, a lot of Grandparents, my self included do it for the betterment of their children. While I'll admit I some times wish to be left alone, we recognize that the parents need to work, and with the abuse that comes to light from some places, I am not comfortable with day care!


EvilQueenMommy
by Member on Apr. 6, 2012 at 8:11 PM

You don't always know you'll be a single mother. My sil and her bf were together 5 years and split when their daughter was 4 months old.

JavaLadybug
by on Apr. 6, 2012 at 8:11 PM


Quoting owl0210:

My child is my responsibilty not my parents. He's in daycare while I work.

Becareful.. Someone is gonna say it.. 

You know what the "IT" I am refering to is right?

You know that part about not letting others raise your kid.. Don't worry.. They bash everyone for everything.. This post is proof of that.. If you have family watch them your burdening your family.. If strangers do it then your kids aren't being raised by a loving family environment.. And if ... You get the jist right?!

charleyd68
by Platinum Member on Apr. 6, 2012 at 8:14 PM

I don't thinks so, I know plenty that will say NO faster then the parent can get the words could you, out!

Quoting GoddessNDaRuff:

And people post and bitch about this topic but then moan and bitch about the breakdown of families and why aren't families close anymore. My parents and grandparents (as well as Dh's) wish we were closer so they could babysit everyday and keep them overnight on weekends. That's one of the things they were looking forward to as grandparents.

I wonder if it's offensive when married parents use grandparents for child care?

Quoting charleyd68:

I don't see where she has a choice. And a great deal of parents, came by that way by  total surprise. I agree their situation is bleak, a lot of Grandparents, my self included do it for the betterment of their children. While I'll admit I some times wish to be left alone, we recognize that the parents need to work, and with the abuse that comes to light from some places, I am not comfortable with day care!



In my Opininon No Disrespect

owl0210
by Bronze Member on Apr. 6, 2012 at 8:14 PM
2 moms liked this

I can't count how many times I've gotten into the whole daycare raises your child debate lol. It's mostly SAHM's that say it so what does that say about their husband? Is he not raising their children because he works? Even when I was married it was our plan to work and use daycare. 

Quoting JavaLadybug:


Quoting owl0210:

My child is my responsibilty not my parents. He's in daycare while I work.

Becareful.. Someone is gonna say it.. 

You know what the "IT" I am refering to is right?

You know that part about not letting others raise your kid.. Don't worry.. They bash everyone for everything.. This post is proof of that.. If you have family watch them your burdening your family.. If strangers do it then your kids aren't being raised by a loving family environment.. And if ... You get the jist right?!


JavaLadybug
by on Apr. 6, 2012 at 8:20 PM
1 mom liked this

This site is just inhabited by CRANKY, PMS'ING Witches!

Atleast to a great majority..

So take what you like.. and IGNORE THE REST.. 

Cause at the end of the day.. They don't have to live your life, Pay your bills.. Or live with any consequences from being a GIGANTIC BITCH!

Quoting owl0210:

I can't count how many times I've gotten into the whole daycare raises your child debate lol. It's mostly SAHM's that say it so what does that say about their husband? Is he not raising their children because he works? Even when I was married it was our plan to work and use daycare. 

Quoting JavaLadybug:


Quoting owl0210:

My child is my responsibilty not my parents. He's in daycare while I work.

Becareful.. Someone is gonna say it.. 

You know what the "IT" I am refering to is right?

You know that part about not letting others raise your kid.. Don't worry.. They bash everyone for everything.. This post is proof of that.. If you have family watch them your burdening your family.. If strangers do it then your kids aren't being raised by a loving family environment.. And if ... You get the jist right?!



GoddessNDaRuff
by Silver Member on Apr. 6, 2012 at 8:20 PM
2 moms liked this

I know some of those too but most I know are quick to disappear with the grandkids. I'm just saying what happened to families looking out for each other? At one point my mom stopped paying for daycare because she was wasting money because my grandmother would just go pick us up an hour after she dropped us off. She'd say "them places is just full of sickness and mess. I can watch them fine." LOL

Quoting charleyd68:

I don't thinks so, I know plenty that will say NO faster then the parent can get the words could you, out!

Quoting GoddessNDaRuff:

And people post and bitch about this topic but then moan and bitch about the breakdown of families and why aren't families close anymore. My parents and grandparents (as well as Dh's) wish we were closer so they could babysit everyday and keep them overnight on weekends. That's one of the things they were looking forward to as grandparents.

I wonder if it's offensive when married parents use grandparents for child care?

Quoting charleyd68:

I don't see where she has a choice. And a great deal of parents, came by that way by  total surprise. I agree their situation is bleak, a lot of Grandparents, my self included do it for the betterment of their children. While I'll admit I some times wish to be left alone, we recognize that the parents need to work, and with the abuse that comes to light from some places, I am not comfortable with day care!




paganbaby
by Teflon Don on Apr. 6, 2012 at 8:22 PM

That's true.

Quoting The_Doodle:

The grandparents can always say no if they truly don't want to care for the kids...


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

autodidact
by Platinum Member on Apr. 6, 2012 at 8:23 PM
2 moms liked this

wouldn't that fall under the heading of THEIR business, not yours? this used to be common, extended families helping each other out. 
if it's an imposition, then the parent needs to assert themselves and say so.

where's your criticism of the men who fathered these children?  

paganbaby
by Teflon Don on Apr. 6, 2012 at 8:24 PM

You know what's funny? I was married when I had my kids but I still used my mom as a babysitter. Both our moms actually.

Now that I think about it, our kids really should have been better planned...

Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

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