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Should Grandparents Have Rights To Their Grandchildren?

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If so, what rights?  If not, why not?

by on Apr. 7, 2012 at 9:17 AM
Replies (151-160):
aritoyh
by Member on Apr. 10, 2012 at 8:36 PM

No. 

nurbabe82
by Member on Apr. 10, 2012 at 8:38 PM

 

Quoting illinoismommy83:

In-laws have the right to remain silent, everything they say can and will be used against them.

 LOL too funny :)

Playitagain
by Member on Apr. 10, 2012 at 8:41 PM
I think if a parent dies, however that being said. I've seen grandparents whose children lost vistitation or even parental rights all together want rights to see the kids. I've often seen families of abusers, generation after generation. Also in one case I recently worked the legal parents agreed to allow the biological grandparents a visit at the prompting of a newer judge. The biological grandparents handed the poor child over to the biological mother whose rights were terminated for extreme neglect and abuse. The child was found the next day sitting alone at a rest area in the middle of no place by a trucker. The bm claimed the child started to annoy her.
I also believe parents should have the right to refuse their parents access to the kids, because who knows these people better then them.themselves
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PortiaRose
by on Apr. 10, 2012 at 8:49 PM
My friends mil (my friend is a widow) has been fighting my friends for YEARS over her grandkids. Years. She even got the courts to give her weekend visitation.

My friend is heartbroken.


Quoting nysa76:

I You know, I was terrified that since my son and his baby's mom broke up, I would end up having to fight to see my granddaughter.  I didn't.  Her mom is wonderful at letting me be a very active part in her life.

That said, in an ideal situation where both parents are there, in the child's life, I do not think any court should have any say to trump the parents in this area.  BUT if one parent is missing (passed away, a dead beat who took off, etc) I DO think that the grandparents should be allowed time with their grandchild IF they are not harmful emotionally or otherwise for the grandchild.

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PortiaRose
by on Apr. 10, 2012 at 8:57 PM
I agree to a certain extent. I think grandparents should have a right to be in their grandchildrens lives as long as they aren't harmful to them. I think it can be damaging to a child if their loving memaw and pawpaw are just ripped from their lives, cuz mom is bipolar or a drug addict and flipps out for no reason.

Quoting Playitagain:

I think if a parent dies, however that being said. I've seen grandparents whose children lost vistitation or even parental rights all together want rights to see the kids. I've often seen families of abusers, generation after generation. Also in one case I recently worked the legal parents agreed to allow the biological grandparents a visit at the prompting of a newer judge. The biological grandparents handed the poor child over to the biological mother whose rights were terminated for extreme neglect and abuse. The child was found the next day sitting alone at a rest area in the middle of no place by a trucker. The bm claimed the child started to annoy her.

I also believe parents should have the right to refuse their parents access to the kids, because who knows these people better then them.themselves
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Playitagain
by Member on Apr. 10, 2012 at 9:05 PM
In cases like that the state tries to place the children with the grandparents or other family members. I just don't feel the rights should be automatic, when its drug abusers and what not often times the grandparents have first chance at the kids. In many situations the state may even contact grandparents prior to placing them in a foster home situation. I've had many what we call weekend placments, were the child will be in a foster home for a couple days while family travels to get the kids or prepares for them.
Ive just seen so many where the parents are extremely abusive and neglectful and when the grandparents are spoken to the parent learned it from them.
Like I said nothing should be automatic and all grandparents aunts uncles should go through checks.


Quoting PortiaRose:

I agree to a certain extent. I think grandparents should have a right to be in their grandchildrens lives as long as they aren't harmful to them. I think it can be damaging to a child if their loving memaw and pawpaw are just ripped from their lives, cuz mom is bipolar or a drug addict and flipps out for no reason.



Quoting Playitagain:

I think if a parent dies, however that being said. I've seen grandparents whose children lost vistitation or even parental rights all together want rights to see the kids. I've often seen families of abusers, generation after generation. Also in one case I recently worked the legal parents agreed to allow the biological grandparents a visit at the prompting of a newer judge. The biological grandparents handed the poor child over to the biological mother whose rights were terminated for extreme neglect and abuse. The child was found the next day sitting alone at a rest area in the middle of no place by a trucker. The bm claimed the child started to annoy her.


I also believe parents should have the right to refuse their parents access to the kids, because who knows these people better then them.themselves

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
nysa76
by Silver Member on Apr. 11, 2012 at 10:29 AM

 Is the grandmother bad for the children?  Harmful to/for them?

Quoting PortiaRose:

My friends mil (my friend is a widow) has been fighting my friends for YEARS over her grandkids. Years. She even got the courts to give her weekend visitation.

My friend is heartbroken.


Quoting nysa76:

I You know, I was terrified that since my son and his baby's mom broke up, I would end up having to fight to see my granddaughter.  I didn't.  Her mom is wonderful at letting me be a very active part in her life.

That said, in an ideal situation where both parents are there, in the child's life, I do not think any court should have any say to trump the parents in this area.  BUT if one parent is missing (passed away, a dead beat who took off, etc) I DO think that the grandparents should be allowed time with their grandchild IF they are not harmful emotionally or otherwise for the grandchild.

 

DestinyHLewis
by Destiny on Apr. 3, 2013 at 1:05 AM


My kids have three sets. My mom and her husband, my dad and his wife, and the incarnate of Satan, my husbands parents. 

Quoting futureshock:


Quoting T-Rentsmommy06:

I think if the children are in danger with their parents, whether it be neglect or abuse. However, my sons have three sets of grandparents, how would you decide who has "more" rights over them? Also, would that include unborn grandchildren? Could that grandparent force a parent to keep a child they didn't want? I just think if you give too many people rights over one child you take away the parents rights.
But I did not read the other post, so I do not know where the idea stems off of fully, I guess.

No, this does not involve embryos or fetuses. 

How does a child have three sets of grandparents?



DestinyHLewis
by Destiny on Apr. 3, 2013 at 1:07 AM


It's pretty ignorant to lump someone who has bi polar in with drug addicts. Smh. Wow. 

Quoting PortiaRose:

I agree to a certain extent. I think grandparents should have a right to be in their grandchildrens lives as long as they aren't harmful to them. I think it can be damaging to a child if their loving memaw and pawpaw are just ripped from their lives, cuz mom is bipolar or a drug addict and flipps out for no reason.

Quoting Playitagain:

I think if a parent dies, however that being said. I've seen grandparents whose children lost vistitation or even parental rights all together want rights to see the kids. I've often seen families of abusers, generation after generation. Also in one case I recently worked the legal parents agreed to allow the biological grandparents a visit at the prompting of a newer judge. The biological grandparents handed the poor child over to the biological mother whose rights were terminated for extreme neglect and abuse. The child was found the next day sitting alone at a rest area in the middle of no place by a trucker. The bm claimed the child started to annoy her.

I also believe parents should have the right to refuse their parents access to the kids, because who knows these people better then them.themselves



DestinyHLewis
by Destiny on Apr. 3, 2013 at 1:33 AM


That's the problem. If they established actual "rights for grandparents" as law, then those of us who already know we have poisonous Grandparents would be at the mercy of the courts to prove or disprove our descisions for our kids. I shouldn't have to go to court to prove why I think my in laws are poison to my children and marriage. I am their mom. It's my discretion. It should stay that way. 

How do you prove they are in fact toxic? By court standards. It would be a mess of they said, you said,  type situations. Those are doors we shouldn't open. The kids would be thrown in the middle and used as test rats. I can't see a single good thing that could come from taking away a parents ability to govern their own child's life. We already have laws in place to deal with unfit parents as we should. However, there is nothing positive about opening up a door to a very slippery slope. My inlaws would exploit the hell out of it, and by that, my kids too. Their motivation is their wants, that is all. Not the welfare of my kids and their son. It's pretty disgusting. 

Should I have to put up with a grandmother who tells my 3, 4, and 6 yr old to lie to me about being put in car seats? Or when she disobeys my youngest daughters dietary restrictions due to food allergies, with the excuse," I am their grandma, I can do what I want." Then my kid is sick for the next 3 or 4 days. Or should I tolerate her saying to my face in my own home, she will do everything in her power to make sure my husband and I get divorced? She also asks my kids to come to her house and spend the night during school vacations without talking to my husband or myself first. Why? Because she knows I don't allow them to stay with her for the above, and many more reasons. She uses them for her own agenda, and thinks I will give in if she teaches them how to manipulate like she does. It's sick. No, I am sorry. Grandparents should not be given inherent  rights simply because of biology. 

I feel really bad for the decent grandparents who are kept from their grand kids, and for the kids involved. However, people like me need to make sure our parental rights are intact to protect our children from assholes like my Mil. 

Quoting xasasa:

Yes. Within reason of course. For example, I have live with my parents for the past 3 yrs and so have my children. If something happened to me, more than likely my parents will have a hard time seeing my children because their father will not make it a priority to allow them to keep contact. So since my children are closer to my parents than their father, they should have rights.

In cases where the grandparents are abusive or toxic then no.



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