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Mother doesn't let son join boy scouts because of anti-gay policy, even though her child is not gay

Posted by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 11:24 PM
  • 241 Replies
1 mom liked this

This mother wouldn't allow her son to join the boy scouts because she doesn't agree with the anti-gay policy of the boy scouts.  Should her son have to suffer so the parent can take a stand on an issue?

Quote:

Why I Won't Let My Son Join The Boy Scouts

 

What Happened When My Son Asked to Join the Boy Scouts

As parents, we have the crappy job of making decisions regarding our kids. Most of the time, these choices are super easy -- like if they'll buy lunch that day, or if they should wear a jacket.

Other decisions are trickier, like if they can play at Joe's house even though his dad has guns, or if they'll attend private or public school.

It's hard as hell, and I could ask 100 different parents and get 100 different answers.

The fact is, there is no right answer, only your answer. One you often make in a caffeine-induced stupor and three-day-old underwear, surrounded by little people you wish would just shut up for five f*cking minutes so you could have a coherent thought that's not set to the tune of a Yo Gabba Gabba song, although, admittedly... all my sex dreams are now done to the soundtrack of Try It, You'll Like It!

I would say, overall, I have a 70/30 parental success rate, which sounds low, but it's not. I mean, there are no books on this... all right, yeah, there are actually tons of books on this, but seriously, who has time to read them? They're incredibly dull and if I want to feel bad about myself, I'll go into an Anthropologie and try to fit into stuff.

Andy and I make decisions for our kids together, turning to Google if we need a third party moderator, which we seldom do. His level-headed nature and my flamboyant idealism usually produce decisions that don't end in death or loss of custody or permanent body modifications.

Yesterday, Jude came home in a tizzy of excitement about campfires and pizza and BB guns and catapults, which, admittedly, all sound awesome. Where on Earth can you get all those awesome things? Boy Scouts. For $12 a year plus uniforms and badges and other random fees, you can have camping and dirt and building things and shooting stuff and boys and debauchery and fun.

I was a Girl Scout for years, and had the pleasure of working for the organization after college, and I am chomping at the bit for Gigi to be old enough to join. They have a great message, they stand for and teach amazing things, and they sell cookies that I like to eat.

Win, win, win.

But when Jude asked to join Boy Scouts, my heart hurt... because I knew we might have to
tell him no. In fact, in my head, I was already screaming no, no way, absolutely not, not happening. But, I have this almost-6-year-old beautiful boy in front of me, who's bursting at the seams to see his friends at meetings and get a free mini catapult for joining.

And suddenly things got harder. I remember my brother was in Boy Scouts for a year or two, and he would go away to camp and participate in the Pine Wood Derby, and I know, deep down, that is stuff Jude would love.

But, I also know that Boy Scouts of America has an explicit anti-gay policy. And while he may not understand all that in the grand scheme of equality and civil rights and humanity, would he understand that it meant that his friend's dad couldn't be his leader? That one of his relatives couldn't participate? That some of our dearest family friends would be unwelcome?

Do I pause all that in lieu of a pizza party and BB guns because it's easier, neater, less of an OMG TANTRUM APOCALYPSE?

I know Jude obviously won't go to meetings and get indoctrinated into an anti-gay mindset. He'd probably learn a craft and play a game and sell ridiculously overpriced stale popcorn that nobody ever wants to buy, leaving me to pick up the tab.

But, we'd also be one more family making it ok for an organization to stand for ideals we just don't agree with.

For us, the answer was no.

I've had to teach my kids lessons in the most unexpected places, usually when I am completely unprepared, and almost always while I have food in my mouth, and it sucks most of the time. Explaining life is hard, especially when you have to use clean language and Dora the Explorer analogies.

This post originally appeared on BarefootFoodie.com.

The fact is, there is no right answer, only your answer. One you often make in a caffeine-induced stupor and three-day-old underwear.


by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 11:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
SarahLizyB
by Member on Apr. 17, 2012 at 11:27 PM
16 moms liked this
That's the same reason my son will not join
katy_kay08
by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 11:29 PM
9 moms liked this

I don't see not joining boy scouts as "suffering".   We as parents determine what is acceptable and what is not for our children.   

caito
by Silver Member on Apr. 17, 2012 at 11:31 PM
2 moms liked this

If I ever have a son he absolutely will NOT be joining the Boy Scouts. There are a million other extracurriculars he can participate in. I won't support them. My daughter will be joining the Girl Scouts though.

Goodwoman614
by Satan on Apr. 17, 2012 at 11:38 PM
4 moms liked this
And don't forget they can't be atheist either!
Yup my son did not join.
Happymamax2
by Silver Member on Apr. 17, 2012 at 11:40 PM
2 moms liked this
Is the boy 'suffering' by not being included in an organization who makes policies like that? I think not.
Veni.Vidi.Vici.
by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 11:42 PM
2 moms liked this

He won't suffer. Seriously?

Soulmate-2-R
by Member on Apr. 17, 2012 at 11:42 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting SarahLizyB:

That's the same reason my son will not join


if i had a boy i would not let him join either...by letting him join you are supporting what they stand for and i DO NOT support their ani gay point of view at all, and plus i dont really think your child is missing out or being harmed in anyway by not joining...it is after all just the boy scouts but i am not going to support an organization that has such views on being gay...just like i will not donate blood to the red cross because they will not accept blood from you if you are homosexual. so i am not going to support that in anyway

Friday
by HRH of MJ on Apr. 17, 2012 at 11:43 PM
3 moms liked this

I don't support the Boy Scouts and do not want my children involved with a group that discriminates against gays and Atheists. My oldest was never interested and I'm hopeful my other son doesn't become interested. If he did I would try to find something else that was more inclusive.

No problem if dd wants to join Girl Scouts, I'm a huge fan. Was never an official member but went to and worked at one of their camps a few summers. Some of my best childhood memories.


0Kit0
by Member on Apr. 17, 2012 at 11:44 PM
Could you explain further please. I'm not sure I get the difference.

Quoting caito:

If I ever have a son he absolutely will NOT be joining the Boy Scouts. There are a million other extracurriculars he can participate in. I won't support them. My daughter will be joining the Girl Scouts though.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
The_Doodle
by Member on Apr. 17, 2012 at 11:49 PM
4 moms liked this

*shrug* Parents' beliefs will dictate what they allow their kids to do. 

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