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I want to see what the other woman looks like *updated*

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Okay, here's the thing.  My husband cheated on me about 8 months ago and just lately I've found myself getting more angry about it.  I know, I seriously need to go to counseling soon.  When I first found out about it, he lied about a lot of things but I slowly but surely got more and more out of him, for example I asked if they slept together and he said no....but it was only once...yeah, whatever.   He immediately snuck into the bathroom to send her a warning text  that I knew about it, so when I tired to call her or text her, she wouldn't answer.  (*This all happened the day I found out, 8 mths ago*)Long story short, he refuses to show me who she is.  I mean I have argued, cried, and yelled and he still won't budge.  I wonder why he so intent on not showing me?  So if I can get honest opinions here; should I just let it go or should I have the right to know?  Honestly, the main reason I want to see her is to be able to know who she is if we're out in public and I don't go and talk to the girl who slept with my husband.  I want to be able to confront her if the opportunity arises one day since she avoided me like a coward.

 

Well here's a update; not cause I want everyone to know my business, but because I believe we can learn from each other's experiences. I got the name and I honestly feel no different. I thought I was gonna jump on a computer and find her, but I didn't....and I don't feel like I want to. I think I'm seriously hurt by it all and I know for a fact that to salvage our marriage, counseling is a must. So tomorrow, hopefully I'll hear something from my insurance and get into counseling by Tuesday. I just want to say thanks to all the positive, honest, and understanding comments I received. You never know how you'll handle a situation until you actually go through it yourself. Cheating is so damaging, I look forward to the day that this will not be such a weight on my shoulders.

by on May. 4, 2012 at 11:53 PM
Replies (41-50):
CreziaMommyTo2
by Member on May. 5, 2012 at 7:08 AM
1 mom liked this

the fact that your DH warned her, makes me think he shows NO remorse... honestly i think hes still sleeping with her

JoshRachelsMAMA
by JRM on May. 5, 2012 at 7:10 AM
2 moms liked this
If he cannot tell you the truth about everything, and he seems concerned with covering his ass - then leave him.

That's nonsense. Why the fuck would he protect her? He owes you his allegiance and loyalty.

I wouldn't tolerate it.


Quoting crystaldiaz:

Okay, here's the thing.  My husband cheated on me about 8 months ago and just lately I've found myself getting more angry about it.  I know, I seriously need to go to counseling soon.  When I first found out about it, he lied about a lot of things but I slowly but surely got more and more out of him, for example I asked if they slept together and he said no....but it was only once...yeah, whatever.  He immediately snuck into the bathroom to send her a warning text that I knew about it, so when I tired to call her or text her, she wouldn't answer.  Long story short, he refuses to show me who she is.  I mean I have argued, cried, and yelled and he still won't budge.  I wonder why he so intent on not showing me?  So if I can get honest opinions here; should I just let it go or should I have the right to know?  Honestly, the main reason I want to see her is to be able to know who she is if we're out in public and I don't go and talk to the girl who slept with my husband.  I want to be able to confront her if the opportunity arises one day since she avoided me like a coward.

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IhaveHisjoy
by Silver Member on May. 5, 2012 at 7:36 AM
I don't have any advice..I just want to say..I'm sorry he did this to you, I'm sorry you're hurting so much!
EmilyMarshall
by on May. 5, 2012 at 7:40 AM
bump


thehickinhickor
by Member on May. 5, 2012 at 7:49 AM
Seeing just pisses you off more and makes it even harder to move pass because youcan't get her out of your head...work on the relationship with your hubby if you want to move forward i know it's hard but to be able to move on she as to stay in the past.she or him did not care about him being married to start with so she or your man are not going to care about your feelings when it comes too this
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Debmomto2girls
by Platinum Member on May. 5, 2012 at 8:31 AM
1 mom liked this
I will never understand getting mad at the other woman. She didn't make a vow to you.. That was your husband. And knowing who she is would "make us a big happy family again" means you need some serious counseling. It sounds like he is still carrying in the fair and either he is better at hiding it or you just don't want to see it
nuclear_sugar
by Jaye on May. 5, 2012 at 9:05 AM
Sorry for what you're going through.

The girls my husband cheated on me with were all very fat, and friends with us. Trust me, even knowing that they were fat and uneducated housewives did not make it any better.
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valeriesmom1112
by on May. 5, 2012 at 9:08 AM

I would want to know to, you have every right to want to know what she looks like and to confront her if you want to.

_Bama_
by on May. 5, 2012 at 9:08 AM

Sounds like you are driving yourself crazy. 

laurenb1
by on May. 5, 2012 at 9:16 AM
Honestly from stuff others have said that this has happened to. She's probably not even pretty. My mil is really pretty and fil cheated on her with a women who literally looks like trailer trash. Now she's finding out that he may have been cheating again with her friend and this woman is not very pretty either. She's tall, skinny and blonde but she has no body at all a turned up nose and has the most annoying laugh in the world. Yeah.. It's all true and I know I sound like a b**** but she's probably not even pretty at all is my point. Some men are idiots and cheat.. Usually with whatever whore that happens to be there.
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