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Crazy Conservative Contradictions

Posted by on May. 16, 2012 at 8:41 AM
  • 16 Replies
3 moms liked this

 

Crazy Conservative Contradictions

Tax Cuts Increase Revenue. Image from http://propagandaremix.com/

There’s a reason liberals look at conservatives like they might be insane. Often, a conservative will say one thing and then, almost immediately, contradict it. Pointing out the contradiction often angers the conservative who then accuses you of either being “stupid” or “twisting their words.” But, because it’s funny to look at crazy people, let’s take a look at conservative contradictions: 1. There is no need to regulate corporations! The free market dictates that all corporations will act in the best interest of the consumer or be put out of business by the “Invisible Hand.” The Contradiction: Corporations only exist to make money. You cannot expect them to do anything that will interfere with the bottom line. They cannot concern themselves with environmental issues or customer safety if it is more profitable to ignore them. You, as the consumer, need to be more careful!

2. Corporations should have all the rights of a person. They should be free to exercise their First Amendment rights and buyinfluence elections just like any other citizen of the United States. The Contradiction: Corporations are not people so they cannot be treated like any other citizen of the United States. You can’t arrest them for manslaughter or negligent homicide even if they DID add known carcinogens to that baby food on purpose. Ultimate Contradiction: Unions (basically, a group of people pooling their resources) should not be allowed to influence elections. It corrupts the democratic process.

3. You should never try to organize labor. That’s selfish. Unions extort money from corporations, inflate the salaries of workers and give them unearned benefits, like maternity leave and pensions. Union workers are greedy and do not care about the companies they work for. The fact that they are paid so well is a sure sign that they are wrong. The Contradiction: How dare you try to limit CEO pay and severance packages?! Those people work hard and earn every penny they get, even if they drove the company right into bankruptcy! So what if they took billions of tax payers’ money to stay afloat, they still deserve those bonuses!

4. All liberal celebrities should shut the hell up. They don’t know what they’re talking about and should leave politics to politicians. Liberal celebrities aren’t real Americans anyway because they’re from Hollywood! The Contradiction: Here to explain to you how liberal policies are unpatriotic and probably illegal are Victoria Jackson, Kelsey Grammer and Jon Voight.

5. The Government cannot create any jobs at all and can never reduce unemployment, only the private sector can do that. The Contradiction: The Government has too many people on its payroll; we have to reduce the number of public sector jobs. Ultimate Contradiction: See how many public sector jobs we’ve lost under Obama? He made unemployment worse!

6. We really invaded Iraq to get rid of a terrible dictator and it had nothing to do with 9/11. The Contradiction: Why is Obama invading Libya?! To take down a terrible dictator?! How is that our problem?!

7. Osama bin Laden was responsible for 9/11 because he gave the order to carry out the attack. The Contradiction: President Obama can’t take ANY credit for the death of Osama bin Laden because all he did was give the order to carry out the attack.
8. Any journalist, politician or private citizen that questions President Bush during a time of war is a traitor. The Contradiction: During this time of war it is our patriotic duty to question President Obama about every little detail of his agenda.

9. Providing billions of tax-payer money to people in dire financial straits is Socialism and will lead to the destruction of the country. The Contradiction: Providing trillions of tax-payer money to banks in dire financial straits is Capitalism and will lead to the salvation of the country.

10. We must protect innocent fetuses by any means necessary. Terrorism and assassination is justifiable because we are protecting children! The Contradiction: Providing pregnant women with medical care and proper nutrition is a burden on the tax-payers and we can’t afford it. We need that money to fight terrorism!

11. Islam is a religion of terrorists! They murder innocents in the name of Allah and that’s just wrong! That’s why we’re better than they are! The Contradiction: All homosexuals should be put to death! They are the work of Satan! If we cannot pray away their gay then we must do as the Jayzus commands and stone them to death!

12. My freedom of religion is absolute! It says so right there in the Constitution! You can’t restrict my right to worship where and how I want! The Contradiction: Those damn Muslims keep putting up mosques wherever the hell they want! Who do they think they are?! That should be illegal!

13. The Constitution is inviolate! Why are liberals always trying to shred the Constitution?! The Contradiction: We should just ignore the 14th Amendment! It allows anchor and terror babies! We have to protect ourselves from the furrners!

14. Damn liberals always trying to select activist judges that will just “interpret” the Constitution however they want to fit their Socialist agenda! The Founding Fathers knew what they were doing and we should also follow their intent, not just make it up as we go along! The Contradiction: Citizens United? I think the Supreme Court did a fine job of interpreting the Constitution to fit our much more complex times, don’t you?

by on May. 16, 2012 at 8:41 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MeTaL_MoMmA_08
by on May. 16, 2012 at 8:47 AM

BUMP!

punky3175
by on May. 16, 2012 at 8:56 AM
1 mom liked this

I don't have time to read it all right now but what I did skim rings very very true. But I know both "sides" are guilty of it which is why I don't claim either party.  

jessilin0113
by Platinum Member on May. 16, 2012 at 9:05 AM
1 mom liked this

True enough.  For fairness's sake, I'm a liberal, and I'd love to read the inevitable liberal contradictions.

Or I can start my own.

I'm pro-choice but anti-death penalty (I actually have no disconnect there but some see it as contradictory).

I want the government to stay out of my medical decisions but have no problem with birth control mandates.

(Obviously, these are all super simplified and require more discussion, the topic could lead to an interesting one as long as we avoid the "I'm a conservative and none of these apply to me, what a stupid list!!")  Why are these (mine and the OP) correct?  Why are they incorrect?  You have one hour, class.  :P

LampPost
by Member on May. 16, 2012 at 9:14 AM
Ooh, I'm the same there! Lol. I think everyone has contradictions though. It is kind of human nature, after all.

Quoting jessilin0113:

True enough.  For fairness's sake, I'm a liberal, and I'd love to read the inevitable liberal contradictions.

Or I can start my own.

I'm pro-choice but anti-death penalty (I actually have no disconnect there but some see it as contradictory).

I want the government to stay out of my medical decisions but have no problem with birth control mandates.

(Obviously, these are all super simplified and require more discussion, the topic could lead to an interesting one as long as we avoid the "I'm a conservative and none of these apply to me, what a stupid list!!")  Why are these (mine and the OP) correct?  Why are they incorrect?  You have one hour, class.  :P

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Euphoric
by Bazinga! on May. 16, 2012 at 9:32 AM

 Ditto. I don't affiliate with either party.

Quoting punky3175:

I don't have time to read it all right now but what I did skim rings very very true. But I know both "sides" are guilty of it which is why I don't claim either party.  

 

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GLWerth
by Gina on May. 16, 2012 at 9:50 AM
2 moms liked this

The really funny thing is that I see all of these very arguments from conservatives right here on CM regularly.

nb34
by Silver Member on May. 16, 2012 at 10:50 AM

 True!! I see those contradictions all the time in conservative arguments.

joyfree
by Silver Member on May. 16, 2012 at 12:00 PM

Good stuff.

SLTmom
by Silver Member on May. 16, 2012 at 12:13 PM
Good laugh for the day!!!
Carpy
by Ruby Member on May. 16, 2012 at 12:20 PM
Ah! If only I had more time.
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