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I Never Wanted to Be a Mother --from the Stir

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Ilina Ewen isn't a mom who pulls punches. This "left-leaning" mother of two lets it all out over on her blog Dirt & Noise, and we love her all the more for it.

She's helping us celebrate Mother's Day the way she always does: with no-holds-barred truth about how she came to be a mom.

I never wanted to be a mother.

http://thestir.cafemom.com/big_kid/136369/i_never_wanted_to_be?ct=beta_topnav_dropdown

Did you always want to be a mom?

by on May. 20, 2012 at 2:10 AM
Replies (61-70):
LindaClement
by Thatwoman on May. 20, 2012 at 7:33 PM

Ah... but then, you haven't encountered real love.

Not its price and not its gifts.

I'd never give back what I've had of it, and I can only stand it a few minutes a day at the most. Hard thing, love is.

Quoting heidimoose134:

I went through a period when I didn't want to be because I decided love was a crock of shit and figured I'd always be single. 

Okay... I still feel that way but somehow I ended up with my two boys and I wouldn't change that for anything. My boys are all I need. :-)


heidimoose134
by Momma Moose on May. 20, 2012 at 7:35 PM

Oh, I'm confident I know a thing or two about love (but I'm open to the idea that maybe I really don't. lol). I'm just at a point where I feel too burned to care. I'm sure I'll turn the switch back on again someday.

I don't have time for it right now anyway. lol

Quoting LindaClement:

Ah... but then, you haven't encountered real love.

Not its price and not its gifts.

I'd never give back what I've had of it, and I can only stand it a few minutes a day at the most. Hard thing, love is.

Quoting heidimoose134:

I went through a period when I didn't want to be because I decided love was a crock of shit and figured I'd always be single. 

Okay... I still feel that way but somehow I ended up with my two boys and I wouldn't change that for anything. My boys are all I need. :-)



LindaClement
by Thatwoman on May. 20, 2012 at 7:39 PM

Yeah... I'd say 'not'.

Real love is an energy source, not a drain.

It also costs a lot more than most people are willing to pay, and avoiding it looks like a very, very good deal from a distance.

Consider maybe that you're burned by your resistance... it's a very draining way to live.

Quoting heidimoose134:

Oh, I'm confident I know a thing or two about love (but I'm open to the idea that maybe I really don't. lol). I'm just at a point where I feel too burned to care. I'm sure I'll turn the switch back on again someday.

I don't have time for it right now anyway. lol

Quoting LindaClement:

Ah... but then, you haven't encountered real love.

Not its price and not its gifts.

I'd never give back what I've had of it, and I can only stand it a few minutes a day at the most. Hard thing, love is.

Quoting heidimoose134:

I went through a period when I didn't want to be because I decided love was a crock of shit and figured I'd always be single. 

Okay... I still feel that way but somehow I ended up with my two boys and I wouldn't change that for anything. My boys are all I need. :-)




andy80
by Member on May. 20, 2012 at 8:23 PM

I can kinda relate to this blog....

Never thought about being a mom and never wanted kids....  I did NOT like kids and would often pawn off baby-sitting jobs to my sister.  The only dolls I played with were Barbies and they never even remotely came close to playing "house"... they were always career women lol

I had big dreams of school and degrees and a career and *maybe* getting married....but kids were never part of those dreams...lol

Things don't always go as planned and my dreams were put on hold....  for not one but THREE kids...  yeah, i've totally lost my mind...lol

But you know what?  I'm ok with that!  My dreams are still going to happen; just more slowly and in a different way...  I love these little monsters more than anything; I still look at them in awe sometimes and just can't believe they're mine... and i'm their MOMMY!  lol

Motherhood is a such an adventure!  I love it!


 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
aom1112
by on May. 20, 2012 at 8:43 PM

My mom carreer has yet to start. But I have helped in the raising of nieces and nephews. And have a day care. I would tell people for a long time I didn't want kids. Helping to take care of other's kids just.. kind of a turn off. I think growing up being told about my womanly duties just didn't fly. And also being asked about who would take care of me when I am old was a bit annoying. But deep down I always wanted to be a mom. I would pray when I was younger for their safety. One of my biggest fears was that I would not be able to have my own family. Now I am 3 months pregnant. Though not quite planned I can't wait to meet my little sea monkey. And though there is too much going on in my life right now I know this little person is a blessing.

Euphoric
by Bazinga! on May. 20, 2012 at 8:49 PM

 I never wanted kids until I met my husband.

acrogodess
by Silver Member on May. 20, 2012 at 8:53 PM

I always knew I would be a mom too!

LindaClement
by Thatwoman on May. 20, 2012 at 9:27 PM
1 mom liked this

Very cool!

Quoting andy80:

I can kinda relate to this blog....

Never thought about being a mom and never wanted kids....  I did NOT like kids and would often pawn off baby-sitting jobs to my sister.  The only dolls I played with were Barbies and they never even remotely came close to playing "house"... they were always career women lol

I had big dreams of school and degrees and a career and *maybe* getting married....but kids were never part of those dreams...lol

Things don't always go as planned and my dreams were put on hold....  for not one but THREE kids...  yeah, i've totally lost my mind...lol

But you know what?  I'm ok with that!  My dreams are still going to happen; just more slowly and in a different way...  I love these little monsters more than anything; I still look at them in awe sometimes and just can't believe they're mine... and i'm their MOMMY!  lol

Motherhood is a such an adventure!  I love it!



LindaClement
by Thatwoman on May. 20, 2012 at 9:29 PM

Womanly duties... ha ha ha!

My husband and I used to joke (in fact, made up an entire joke contract) about doing things in 'an appropriately wifely manner.' 

I've often been amazed at how much I prefer my kids to other people's... 

Quoting aom1112:

My mom carreer has yet to start. But I have helped in the raising of nieces and nephews. And have a day care. I would tell people for a long time I didn't want kids. Helping to take care of other's kids just.. kind of a turn off. I think growing up being told about my womanly duties just didn't fly. And also being asked about who would take care of me when I am old was a bit annoying. But deep down I always wanted to be a mom. I would pray when I was younger for their safety. One of my biggest fears was that I would not be able to have my own family. Now I am 3 months pregnant. Though not quite planned I can't wait to meet my little sea monkey. And though there is too much going on in my life right now I know this little person is a blessing.


Debmomto2girls
by on May. 20, 2012 at 9:33 PM
2 moms liked this

 I always wanted to be a mom. I never thought I wouldn't be a mom.

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