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I Never Wanted to Be a Mother --from the Stir

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Ilina Ewen isn't a mom who pulls punches. This "left-leaning" mother of two lets it all out over on her blog Dirt & Noise, and we love her all the more for it.

She's helping us celebrate Mother's Day the way she always does: with no-holds-barred truth about how she came to be a mom.

I never wanted to be a mother.

http://thestir.cafemom.com/big_kid/136369/i_never_wanted_to_be?ct=beta_topnav_dropdown

Did you always want to be a mom?

by on May. 20, 2012 at 2:10 AM
Replies (91-99):
Numom61507
by Member on May. 21, 2012 at 3:13 AM
2 moms liked this

 I never planned on being a Mom because I thought I would suck at it. Turns out, I'm pretty good at it so I worried for nothing :)

wickedfiress
by Kellie on May. 21, 2012 at 4:14 AM
Being the only child of two parents who each had lots of siblings, I wanted 8 kids. I'm more than happy we only have 2.
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Mom2Just1
by Gold Member on May. 21, 2012 at 9:41 AM

I can relate. Marriage and kids were after college and career.  I never pictured myself with a husband or kids. I never played with dolls...I was too busy playing sports and hanging out with boys.  I never learned how to cook at home..hello?  Sunday Football.  I love my husband, son, and baby to be...there are days I long to go back to living on my own.  lol

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LindaClement
by Thatwoman on May. 22, 2012 at 1:14 PM

A friend who was adopted (one of two) always wanted 5 or 6 kids, and went on to have 5.

Quoting wickedfiress:

Being the only child of two parents who each had lots of siblings, I wanted 8 kids. I'm more than happy we only have 2.


LindaClement
by Thatwoman on May. 22, 2012 at 1:14 PM
2 moms liked this

It has always been true that no matter what kind of joy we get from living closely with other people... they're annoying and get in the way. :D

Quoting Mom2Just1:

I can relate. Marriage and kids were after college and career.  I never pictured myself with a husband or kids. I never played with dolls...I was too busy playing sports and hanging out with boys.  I never learned how to cook at home..hello?  Sunday Football.  I love my husband, son, and baby to be...there are days I long to go back to living on my own.  lol


eema.gray
by on May. 22, 2012 at 1:21 PM

Didn't want to be a mom.  Didn't "know" I would be a mom either.  Then kids happened and I wouldn't give them up for anything.  But I also know that I am good and done (we have three now) and my husband thinks it's "just hormones."  So we're at an impasse for the moment which freaks me out because my 2 month old is the result of the same impasse after our 2.5 year old was born . . . . . :-(

aom1112
by on May. 24, 2012 at 3:37 PM

 I can blame it growing up in a traditional latin american family? Women need to know how to cook, clean, take care of their man, etc. I didn't like to be told I "needed" to do something because of my gender. Especially when my 3 oldest brothers were not told the same thing. I'm expected to clean, but they aren't? HA!. Not happening. (Though, my brothers are some of the cleanest guys I know and all know how to cook and take care of themselves).

Quoting LindaClement:

Womanly duties... ha ha ha!

My husband and I used to joke (in fact, made up an entire joke contract) about doing things in 'an appropriately wifely manner.' 

I've often been amazed at how much I prefer my kids to other people's... 

Quoting aom1112:

My mom carreer has yet to start. But I have helped in the raising of nieces and nephews. And have a day care. I would tell people for a long time I didn't want kids. Helping to take care of other's kids just.. kind of a turn off. I think growing up being told about my womanly duties just didn't fly. And also being asked about who would take care of me when I am old was a bit annoying. But deep down I always wanted to be a mom. I would pray when I was younger for their safety. One of my biggest fears was that I would not be able to have my own family. Now I am 3 months pregnant. Though not quite planned I can't wait to meet my little sea monkey. And though there is too much going on in my life right now I know this little person is a blessing.


 

LindaClement
by Thatwoman on May. 24, 2012 at 4:47 PM

Turns out, they weren't listening either, eh? LOL

Quoting aom1112:

 I can blame it growing up in a traditional latin american family? Women need to know how to cook, clean, take care of their man, etc. I didn't like to be told I "needed" to do something because of my gender. Especially when my 3 oldest brothers were not told the same thing. I'm expected to clean, but they aren't? HA!. Not happening. (Though, my brothers are some of the cleanest guys I know and all know how to cook and take care of themselves).

Quoting LindaClement:

Womanly duties... ha ha ha!

My husband and I used to joke (in fact, made up an entire joke contract) about doing things in 'an appropriately wifely manner.' 

I've often been amazed at how much I prefer my kids to other people's... 

Quoting aom1112:

My mom carreer has yet to start. But I have helped in the raising of nieces and nephews. And have a day care. I would tell people for a long time I didn't want kids. Helping to take care of other's kids just.. kind of a turn off. I think growing up being told about my womanly duties just didn't fly. And also being asked about who would take care of me when I am old was a bit annoying. But deep down I always wanted to be a mom. I would pray when I was younger for their safety. One of my biggest fears was that I would not be able to have my own family. Now I am 3 months pregnant. Though not quite planned I can't wait to meet my little sea monkey. And though there is too much going on in my life right now I know this little person is a blessing.


 


erikadi
by on Jun. 2, 2012 at 6:35 PM

No I did not want to be a Mom. I went back and forth about it. I always wanted to be an Aunt and now that I am a Mom I am glad I have my son, but I am not sure if I want anymore children. Now I go back and forth on that. I always want to adopt though.

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