Unwed moms outnumbering married moms

[Sillybillymel]

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/18/us/for-women-under-30-most-births-occur-outside-marriage.html?pagewanted=all

 

So I know this article is old, but I came across it and it reminded me of when I gave birth to my daughter. After I gave birth, I was in recovery in the hospital when a nurse came in with paperwork for the birth certificate. Well, I guess there is some kind of form for dads wanting to be put on the BC who are not married to the mother. Well, the nurse assumed my husband and I were not married. (We were both wearing our wedding rings) It wasnt a big deal, and she was nice about it. But this article just reminded me of it, and I guess it did bother me. We are both in our twenties.

Then it made me realize, it does bother me. Not trying to bash anyone, everyones situation is different. I just know, it would bother me if we had our DD and we werent married. I know I am pretty old fashioned, its just I feel like thats the way it should be. Two people married, having kids. I was just wondering how everyone think about these kinds of things?

Thanks in advance to any replies and Thank you for reading.

[Sassy01]

Nothing wrong with being old fashioned, I'm the same way.

But boy oh boy, be prepared to be ripped to shreds here for your post.

[Sillybillymel]

Thanks. Yeah I just feel like Im the weird one nowadays.

[BonneVie]

I had my kids while married. Now that I am divorced, people that I just meet tend to assume that I have always been single. I try and never judge but I do find myself offended at the assumption.

[Euphoric]

 

[FromAtoZ]

I would much rather prefer a child have parents who are capable of loving the child, nurturing and tending to the child over being married to each other.

If it works out that way, fantastic!  If not, it is life.

I don't care for children having children.  Then my daughter had her son at age 19.  At least she was out of high school and working full time.  That is a lot better than many others.

Life is not black and white and when we expect it to be, for ourselves or others, we are hiding our heads in the sand,

Those who are able to do it the right way, so to speak, I applaud them.  But that just is not reality.  I don't think it ever really was, outside of our own minds, of course.

[GracieLullaby27]

this for me too. 

Quoting BonneVie:

I had my kids while married. Now that I am divorced, people that I just meet tend to assume that I have always been single. I try and never judge but I do find myself offended at the assumption.

[FromAtoZ]

Quoting Sassy01:

Nothing wrong with being old fashioned, I'm the same way.

But boy oh boy, be prepared to be ripped to shreds here for your post.

I am so old fashioned, in many ways, but I don't expect others to be.  

Some one is bound to try to rip in to her.  Seems to be the nature of the beast. lol

[A_Zmom]

I hated when people assumed we weren't married, or if I was baby clothes shopping with my mom, people assumed he wasn't in the picture at all. I just wanted to yell "hello see the ring on my finger?!" if you are going to make a comment about their family situation at least look for a ring first

[i.m.r.]

I agree. I think that many don't feel as pressured to marry once they get the bfp these days as they once did. I for one already knew I wanted to marry df when we found out we were pregnant. The situation wasn't ideal, we hadn't planned on a child for many years to come, but we both have stepped up and our relationship is stronger than ever. No we aren't married (common law) but we want to do it right and have the wedding we both have always wanted, not a city hall thing. Which of course means saving for a couple of years to afford it. Would I have preferred to be married and more established before having a child? Yes. Would I change my situation and how it all happened? Not for the world. I am engaged to an amazing man and father, I have a wonderful baby girl and I still have options to go back to university and earn my degree. My family and I will not be pigeon holed into these statistics.

Quoting FromAtoZ:

I would much rather prefer a child have parents who are capable of loving the child, nurturing and tending to the child over being married to each other.

If it works out that way, fantastic!  If not, it is life.

I don't care for children having children.  Then my daughter had her son at age 19.  At least she was out of high school and working full time.  That is a lot better than many others.

Life is not black and white and when we expect it to be, for ourselves or others, we are hiding our heads in the sand,

Those who are able to do it the right way, so to speak, I applaud them.  But that just is not reality.  I don't think it ever really was, outside of our own minds, of course.

[SilverSterling]

I personally don't believe in marriage. My children know this my partner (no I am not a lesbian my partner is male) knew this when we got together 13yrs ago. I did have my oldest out of wedlock. When I was young and naive I did want to marry. But I was smart enough to not marry an abusive crack addict. There is nothing wrong with being old fashion however a persons personal choices are theirs.