Why Young Marrieds Are Doomed To Divorce

[futureshock]

Quote:

Why Young Marrieds Are Doomed To Divorce

Why I Believe Marriage Shouldn't Be Allowed Before Age 25

by

Jennifer Nagy

Age is just a number... except when it comes to marriage.

Let's look at my stats:
Current age - 29
Divorced for - 8 months
Separated for - 1 year, 9 months
Age when I met my ex - 19
Age when I married - 24

Which brings me to my point: couples should not be allowed to get married before age 25.

While I know that this statement is going to make me very unpopular with readers, I do believe that it would be for the best -- better both for the institution of marriage and the individuals getting married -- if we could change the law to prevent couples from getting married before the age of 25.

In my experience, marriage before 25 was not the smartest idea. I met my ex at the tender young age of 19 (just a few months after my birthday). I was enjoying the freedom of drinking and partying legally for the first time (I live in Canada where the drinking age is 19). I had yet to figure out who I was or what I wanted in my life. I was naïve and impressionable, and when I met my much older ex, I was perfectly happy to let him take control of my life, creating a relationship dynamic that continued for the nine years we were together.

We decided to get married when I was 24. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time because everyone knows that after five years, you should be married or at least engaged, right? It was definitely the message that I was getting from all of our friends. So we took the plunge, getting married on the beach in Miami Beach in front of our friends and family.

That's where the problems began. Once the excitement of planning a beach wedding was over, after the suntan had faded, I was left simply living my life with my husband. Don't get me wrong, I loved him -- and a part of me always will. But because we had started dating at such a young age, he was marrying someone who had absolutely no idea who she was and what she wanted in her life. In short, it was a recipe for divorce.

People under the age of 25 are still discovering themselves; they are figuring out what is most important in their lives. They are discovering the joys (and heartache) of being in a relationship, and then the partying that often characterizes life between relationships. They are figuring out what their relationship "deal-breakers" are and who their most appropriate partners would be. While a person may be 100 percent certain that they love something -- or someone -- at the age of 21, by 29, they will most likely completely change their mind. Life is anything but certain.

My opinions are based solely on my personal experiences and the experiences of the people that I know and have observed. That being said, marriage and divorce statistics do support my claim. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, approximately 60 percent of marriages in which the couple marries between age 20 and 25 will end in divorce. A scary figure for young lovebirds... but definitely one that validates my opinion.

Who knows? Maybe there are 20-year-olds that get married and stay madly in love for their whole lives. Maybe puppy love can last forever.

Could be. Maybe there is such thing as fairies and unicorns too.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jennifer-nagy/why-i-believe-marriage-sh_b_1547156.html

Just saying...

[Mommy_of_Riley]

This article is ridiculous.

She wants to make marriage under 25 illegal because her marriage failed? Really?

How about you own up to the fact you had a crappy marriage and now you're divorced.

[Euphoric]

 To make a law about it would be hysterical.

[Mommy_of_Riley]

Seeing in this group I've seen ATLEAST 20-30 women mention before that they married before 25 and are STILL happily married I'm gonna have to say this article is bullshit.

[Shortiekt]

My grandmother told me the same thing! LOL

She loved my gpa (he passed a couple months ago), but she married at 18 (he was 27) they lasted 55 years. She doesn't regret it, but knows this day and age affords more opportunity.

My mother said not to marry until I have lived alone, discovered what I like, and know how to be alone.

[Euphoric]

 Agree, this woman is a crack pot.

Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

Seeing in this group I've seen ATLEAST 20-30 women mention before that they married before 25 and are STILL happily married I'm gonna have to say this article is bullshit.

 

[katy_kay08]

I think if this was done we would see an even bigger jump in the number of children born to single mothers, and I worry that such an action would cause the OPs head to pop off.   ;)

Quoting Euphoric:

 To make a law about it would be hysterical.

[Paperfishies]

It is none of my business, nor does it effect me, how many times someone gets married/divorces.

[Mommy_of_Riley]

Personally....

I married my high school sweetheart when I was 18. He was 21.

We celebrate 10 years together in August & 8 years married in December. Happily Married with 3 Kids. (oh and we're NOT on PA because I know someone will assume we are)

[Mommy_of_Riley]

This group it seems pretty normal to me. :-)

Quoting rh2pinkie:

eh...I got married at 20. we just celebrated 9 yrs on june 6th.

while I know it isn't the norm, we are still happy and very much in love :)

[Mommy_of_Riley]

With my husband since I was 15. :-)

I have a pet Unicorn.

**high five!**

Quoting ChancesMommy07:

I've been with my husband since we were both 14. Got engaged at 17 (our senior year) and married at 21 (the year we both graduated from college). Still together and very happily married. November will make 16 years that we have been together. Apparently fairies and unicorns so exist...