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Homophobic Christian pretends to be gay for a year, writes book about experiment

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A self-described homophobic Christian posed as a gay man for an entire year, even “coming out” to family and friends in the process, all to reform his beliefs.

“[I wanted] to see if there was any justification in the fear I had,” Timothy Kurek, of Nashville, told MSNBC.

Kurek, who says his religious upbringing taught him that homosexuality was a sin, launched the experiment after a close female friend broke down in tears and admitted she was gay.

“She had just come out to her family and been brutally disowned,” Kurek said. “She had been excommunicated from her entire life and two words changed it all. Two simple words. I’m gay.”

His friend’s plight caused Kurek to question his faith, and so he began his journey as a fictitious homosexual, beginning by telling his family members he was gay.

“My family was very supportive initially,” he told MSNBC. “They treated me with the love and respect I expected. I don’t think they quite knew how to react to having a gay family member, but, you know, that was the religious barrier there that we are all kind of captive to.”

Kurek began to spend less time with his religious circles and hang out in Nashville’s “gayborhood,” mingling with the LGBT community at bars, coffee shops and bookstores.

All the while, he was writing a book about his experience, “Jesus in Drag,” to be released in October.

Kurek admits his less-than-authentic journey cannot match that of an honestly gay man.

“I will be the first one to say that my experience is severely limited,” he told MSNBC. “There is no way I could possibly understand what it’s like to be actually gay.

“And the book itself is not at all about what it is like to be gay, but only about how the label of gay impacted my external life and how those things kind of altered my faith and challenged my beliefs.”



by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 1:18 PM
Replies (51-56):
LindaClement
by Linda on Jun. 17, 2012 at 5:28 PM

I can use 'homophobe' in a sentence. See <----?

I'm not a pinhead, 'cause I don't have any pins anywhere near my head.

I do know that you're blunt and outspoken. But I wonder if there are not situations in which you're not. When it's 'not worth the bother' or when you have other items on your agenda that matter more in the moment...

Quoting toomanypoodles:

 

Quoting LindaClement:

When someone asks you a direct question that you think has an unflattering or insulting answer, do you tell the truth or evade the question?

Quoting toomanypoodles:

 

Quoting LindaClement:

Probably?

What I'm trying to demonstrate is that our culture is not, actually, an honest culture. We value tact and diplomacy --and not being offensive or hurting people's feelings --over truth, almost all the time.

Quoting toomanypoodles:

 

Quoting LindaClement:

You don't need to see a full-bodied picture. It's a yes-or-no question, and you evaded answering it.

Do you believe that lying by omission is on the same plane as lying, or ??

Quoting toomanypoodles:

 

Quoting LindaClement:


Quoting toomanypoodles:

 

Quoting glitterteaz:

Do you ALWAYS tell the truth? ALWAYS even no lil white lies?  He was doing research for the greater good.  Oh never mind... I know I am talking to a wall at this point. Carry on.

Quoting toomanypoodles:

 

Quoting glitterteaz:

seeking clarity... which is offending you the fact that a guy admits he is a homophobe (afraid of or leary of gays) and he is christian. Or the fact he lied to try and get the full impact of people's reactions to a person coming out as gay. 

I do not understand where there is offense to be taken it was a social experiment...walking a mile in another man's shoes if you will. If you asked someone "hey what would you say if I told you that I am gay?" the typical answer is " I don't know" OR " I wouldn't care so long as you were happy". Then if told flat out I am gay... poof whole new senario.

This guy by doing this experiment I would assume taught him more about having compassion which is far from being a pinhead. 

SCYSFA


Quoting toomanypoodles:

 and...

Don't post something if you only want responses that agree with ya. Ya put something out there in an open forum, you're gonna get all sorts of replies. Don't question why someone chooses to open something or not. 


 He lied and deceived people...that alone is enough.  I just hate the word "homophobe" and I hate being called one because I am a Christian who believes homosexuality is wrong. 

I have no fear of gays, I love them and accept them as they are. 


 No...I don't lie...not even little "white" lies.  Wrong is wrong. 

Am I fat?

 Never seen a full length pic of you.  ;)

I am. 


 lol, how can I tell if you are fat if I've not seen you?  Ok, I saw a head shot of you once where you appeared to have a little bit of a double chin, so you're probably fat.  :)


 What's that got to do with lying and decieving?  I do not lie.  And that's the truth.  :p


 Oh mercy...ask my kids if mama's blunt.  Oh yes...THIS woman speaks her mind.  You must not know me too well, Linda if you don't know how opinionated I am.  I say it like it is, dear. 

Show me a picture of yourself and I'll tell ya if I think you're fat.  Mention your height and weight and I'll tell you exactly HOW fat you are. 

And I'll call ya a pinhead if you use that stupid term "homophobe".  lol


LindaClement
by Linda on Jun. 17, 2012 at 5:31 PM

Yea! Shakespeare! So many wonderfully-succinct phrases to use!

Yes... protest too much. I think so.

Quoting gotnothinonme:


Quoting toomanypoodles:

 

Quoting LindaClement:

Probably?

What I'm trying to demonstrate is that our culture is not, actually, an honest culture. We value tact and diplomacy --and not being offensive or hurting people's feelings --over truth, almost all the time.

Quoting toomanypoodles:

 

Quoting LindaClement:

You don't need to see a full-bodied picture. It's a yes-or-no question, and you evaded answering it.

Do you believe that lying by omission is on the same plane as lying, or ??

Quoting toomanypoodles:

 

Quoting LindaClement:


Quoting toomanypoodles:

 

Quoting glitterteaz:

Do you ALWAYS tell the truth? ALWAYS even no lil white lies?  He was doing research for the greater good.  Oh never mind... I know I am talking to a wall at this point. Carry on.

Quoting toomanypoodles:

 

Quoting glitterteaz:

seeking clarity... which is offending you the fact that a guy admits he is a homophobe (afraid of or leary of gays) and he is christian. Or the fact he lied to try and get the full impact of people's reactions to a person coming out as gay. 

I do not understand where there is offense to be taken it was a social experiment...walking a mile in another man's shoes if you will. If you asked someone "hey what would you say if I told you that I am gay?" the typical answer is " I don't know" OR " I wouldn't care so long as you were happy". Then if told flat out I am gay... poof whole new senario.

This guy by doing this experiment I would assume taught him more about having compassion which is far from being a pinhead. 

SCYSFA


Quoting toomanypoodles:

 and...

Don't post something if you only want responses that agree with ya. Ya put something out there in an open forum, you're gonna get all sorts of replies. Don't question why someone chooses to open something or not. 


 He lied and deceived people...that alone is enough.  I just hate the word "homophobe" and I hate being called one because I am a Christian who believes homosexuality is wrong. 

I have no fear of gays, I love them and accept them as they are. 


 No...I don't lie...not even little "white" lies.  Wrong is wrong. 

Am I fat?

 Never seen a full length pic of you.  ;)

I am. 


 lol, how can I tell if you are fat if I've not seen you?  Ok, I saw a head shot of you once where you appeared to have a little bit of a double chin, so you're probably fat.  :)


 What's that got to do with lying and decieving?  I do not lie.  And that's the truth.  :p

ah, just what a LIAR WOULD SAY!! lmao...this is the dumbest conversation I believe I have ever read! The weird tangent against an ACTUAL word to the obvious lie that you never lie- it's all very twilight zone...everyone lies at some point to someone either outright, by omission, by diversion- to spare feelings, to avoid confrontation, to get on with life- if you never lie, I think you're just lying to yourself, which is still a lie- a truthful person would say, "I very rarely lie" or "I avoid lying in any possible situation that doesn't harm a loved ones feelings or value" to say "I NEVER LIE" is statistically a highly improbable fact, which in an of itself negates the very statement, which is all quite funny really and will make interesting conversation for a dinner party one evening-

*and what is the deal with the term homophobic? it's a word, it has a definition. The proper use of the term doesn't indicate anything about the individual using it - but your inordinate disdain and outcry about it seems odd. "Thou doth protest too much", as they say.


toomanypoodles
by Ruby Member on Jun. 17, 2012 at 5:36 PM

 

Quoting LindaClement:

I can use 'homophobe' in a sentence. See <----?

I'm not a pinhead, 'cause I don't have any pins anywhere near my head.

I do know that you're blunt and outspoken. But I wonder if there are not situations in which you're not. When it's 'not worth the bother' or when you have other items on your agenda that matter more in the moment...

Quoting toomanypoodles:

 

Quoting LindaClement:

When someone asks you a direct question that you think has an unflattering or insulting answer, do you tell the truth or evade the question?

Quoting toomanypoodles:

 

Quoting LindaClement:

Probably?

What I'm trying to demonstrate is that our culture is not, actually, an honest culture. We value tact and diplomacy --and not being offensive or hurting people's feelings --over truth, almost all the time.

Quoting toomanypoodles:

 

Quoting LindaClement:

You don't need to see a full-bodied picture. It's a yes-or-no question, and you evaded answering it.

Do you believe that lying by omission is on the same plane as lying, or ??

Quoting toomanypoodles:

 

Quoting LindaClement:


Quoting toomanypoodles:

 

Quoting glitterteaz:

Do you ALWAYS tell the truth? ALWAYS even no lil white lies?  He was doing research for the greater good.  Oh never mind... I know I am talking to a wall at this point. Carry on.

Quoting toomanypoodles:

 

Quoting glitterteaz:

seeking clarity... which is offending you the fact that a guy admits he is a homophobe (afraid of or leary of gays) and he is christian. Or the fact he lied to try and get the full impact of people's reactions to a person coming out as gay. 

I do not understand where there is offense to be taken it was a social experiment...walking a mile in another man's shoes if you will. If you asked someone "hey what would you say if I told you that I am gay?" the typical answer is " I don't know" OR " I wouldn't care so long as you were happy". Then if told flat out I am gay... poof whole new senario.

This guy by doing this experiment I would assume taught him more about having compassion which is far from being a pinhead. 

SCYSFA


Quoting toomanypoodles:

 and...

Don't post something if you only want responses that agree with ya. Ya put something out there in an open forum, you're gonna get all sorts of replies. Don't question why someone chooses to open something or not. 


 He lied and deceived people...that alone is enough.  I just hate the word "homophobe" and I hate being called one because I am a Christian who believes homosexuality is wrong. 

I have no fear of gays, I love them and accept them as they are. 


 No...I don't lie...not even little "white" lies.  Wrong is wrong. 

Am I fat?

 Never seen a full length pic of you.  ;)

I am. 


 lol, how can I tell if you are fat if I've not seen you?  Ok, I saw a head shot of you once where you appeared to have a little bit of a double chin, so you're probably fat.  :)


 What's that got to do with lying and decieving?  I do not lie.  And that's the truth.  :p


 Oh mercy...ask my kids if mama's blunt.  Oh yes...THIS woman speaks her mind.  You must not know me too well, Linda if you don't know how opinionated I am.  I say it like it is, dear. 

Show me a picture of yourself and I'll tell ya if I think you're fat.  Mention your height and weight and I'll tell you exactly HOW fat you are. 

And I'll call ya a pinhead if you use that stupid term "homophobe".  lol


 Not worth the bother is really not my style.  Get me on a topic that I have a strong opinion on and I'm a dog with a bone.  I'm sure you've seen me on a roll in here a time or two. 

I even argued with my pastor a while back because I thought he should be dressing a little nicer for church!  lol  My husband wears a suit, the pastor can at least put on a tie...but NO!  lol

LindaClement
by Linda on Jun. 17, 2012 at 5:37 PM

So, there is never a situation in which someone asks you a direct question and you know that the answer is unflattering (and it's NOT a subject you care about at all) and you just choose not to answer because it's not worth the confrontation?

Quoting toomanypoodles:

 

Quoting LindaClement:

I can use 'homophobe' in a sentence. See <----?

I'm not a pinhead, 'cause I don't have any pins anywhere near my head.

I do know that you're blunt and outspoken. But I wonder if there are not situations in which you're not. When it's 'not worth the bother' or when you have other items on your agenda that matter more in the moment...

Quoting toomanypoodles:

 

Quoting LindaClement:

When someone asks you a direct question that you think has an unflattering or insulting answer, do you tell the truth or evade the question?

Quoting toomanypoodles:

 

Quoting LindaClement:

Probably?

What I'm trying to demonstrate is that our culture is not, actually, an honest culture. We value tact and diplomacy --and not being offensive or hurting people's feelings --over truth, almost all the time.

Quoting toomanypoodles:

 

Quoting LindaClement:

You don't need to see a full-bodied picture. It's a yes-or-no question, and you evaded answering it.

Do you believe that lying by omission is on the same plane as lying, or ??

Quoting toomanypoodles:

 

Quoting LindaClement:


Quoting toomanypoodles:

 

Quoting glitterteaz:

Do you ALWAYS tell the truth? ALWAYS even no lil white lies?  He was doing research for the greater good.  Oh never mind... I know I am talking to a wall at this point. Carry on.

Quoting toomanypoodles:

 

Quoting glitterteaz:

seeking clarity... which is offending you the fact that a guy admits he is a homophobe (afraid of or leary of gays) and he is christian. Or the fact he lied to try and get the full impact of people's reactions to a person coming out as gay. 

I do not understand where there is offense to be taken it was a social experiment...walking a mile in another man's shoes if you will. If you asked someone "hey what would you say if I told you that I am gay?" the typical answer is " I don't know" OR " I wouldn't care so long as you were happy". Then if told flat out I am gay... poof whole new senario.

This guy by doing this experiment I would assume taught him more about having compassion which is far from being a pinhead. 

SCYSFA


Quoting toomanypoodles:

 and...

Don't post something if you only want responses that agree with ya. Ya put something out there in an open forum, you're gonna get all sorts of replies. Don't question why someone chooses to open something or not. 


 He lied and deceived people...that alone is enough.  I just hate the word "homophobe" and I hate being called one because I am a Christian who believes homosexuality is wrong. 

I have no fear of gays, I love them and accept them as they are. 


 No...I don't lie...not even little "white" lies.  Wrong is wrong. 

Am I fat?

 Never seen a full length pic of you.  ;)

I am. 


 lol, how can I tell if you are fat if I've not seen you?  Ok, I saw a head shot of you once where you appeared to have a little bit of a double chin, so you're probably fat.  :)


 What's that got to do with lying and decieving?  I do not lie.  And that's the truth.  :p


 Oh mercy...ask my kids if mama's blunt.  Oh yes...THIS woman speaks her mind.  You must not know me too well, Linda if you don't know how opinionated I am.  I say it like it is, dear. 

Show me a picture of yourself and I'll tell ya if I think you're fat.  Mention your height and weight and I'll tell you exactly HOW fat you are. 

And I'll call ya a pinhead if you use that stupid term "homophobe".  lol


 Not worth the bother is really not my style.  Get me on a topic that I have a strong opinion on and I'm a dog with a bone.  I'm sure you've seen me on a roll in here a time or two. 

I even argued with my pastor a while back because I thought he should be dressing a little nicer for church!  lol  My husband wears a suit, the pastor can at least put on a tie...but NO!  lol


toomanypoodles
by Ruby Member on Jun. 17, 2012 at 5:40 PM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting LindaClement:

So, there is never a situation in which someone asks you a direct question and you know that the answer is unflattering (and it's NOT a subject you care about at all) and you just choose not to answer because it's not worth the confrontation?

Quoting toomanypoodles:

 

Quoting LindaClement:

I can use 'homophobe' in a sentence. See <----?

I'm not a pinhead, 'cause I don't have any pins anywhere near my head.

I do know that you're blunt and outspoken. But I wonder if there are not situations in which you're not. When it's 'not worth the bother' or when you have other items on your agenda that matter more in the moment...

Quoting toomanypoodles:

 

Quoting LindaClement:

When someone asks you a direct question that you think has an unflattering or insulting answer, do you tell the truth or evade the question?

Quoting toomanypoodles:

 

Quoting LindaClement:

Probably?

What I'm trying to demonstrate is that our culture is not, actually, an honest culture. We value tact and diplomacy --and not being offensive or hurting people's feelings --over truth, almost all the time.

Quoting toomanypoodles:

 

Quoting LindaClement:

You don't need to see a full-bodied picture. It's a yes-or-no question, and you evaded answering it.

Do you believe that lying by omission is on the same plane as lying, or ??

Quoting toomanypoodles:

 

Quoting LindaClement:


Quoting toomanypoodles:

 

Quoting glitterteaz:

Do you ALWAYS tell the truth? ALWAYS even no lil white lies?  He was doing research for the greater good.  Oh never mind... I know I am talking to a wall at this point. Carry on.

Quoting toomanypoodles:

 

Quoting glitterteaz:

seeking clarity... which is offending you the fact that a guy admits he is a homophobe (afraid of or leary of gays) and he is christian. Or the fact he lied to try and get the full impact of people's reactions to a person coming out as gay. 

I do not understand where there is offense to be taken it was a social experiment...walking a mile in another man's shoes if you will. If you asked someone "hey what would you say if I told you that I am gay?" the typical answer is " I don't know" OR " I wouldn't care so long as you were happy". Then if told flat out I am gay... poof whole new senario.

This guy by doing this experiment I would assume taught him more about having compassion which is far from being a pinhead. 

SCYSFA


Quoting toomanypoodles:

 and...

Don't post something if you only want responses that agree with ya. Ya put something out there in an open forum, you're gonna get all sorts of replies. Don't question why someone chooses to open something or not. 


 He lied and deceived people...that alone is enough.  I just hate the word "homophobe" and I hate being called one because I am a Christian who believes homosexuality is wrong. 

I have no fear of gays, I love them and accept them as they are. 


 No...I don't lie...not even little "white" lies.  Wrong is wrong. 

Am I fat?

 Never seen a full length pic of you.  ;)

I am. 


 lol, how can I tell if you are fat if I've not seen you?  Ok, I saw a head shot of you once where you appeared to have a little bit of a double chin, so you're probably fat.  :)


 What's that got to do with lying and decieving?  I do not lie.  And that's the truth.  :p


 Oh mercy...ask my kids if mama's blunt.  Oh yes...THIS woman speaks her mind.  You must not know me too well, Linda if you don't know how opinionated I am.  I say it like it is, dear. 

Show me a picture of yourself and I'll tell ya if I think you're fat.  Mention your height and weight and I'll tell you exactly HOW fat you are. 

And I'll call ya a pinhead if you use that stupid term "homophobe".  lol


 Not worth the bother is really not my style.  Get me on a topic that I have a strong opinion on and I'm a dog with a bone.  I'm sure you've seen me on a roll in here a time or two. 

I even argued with my pastor a while back because I thought he should be dressing a little nicer for church!  lol  My husband wears a suit, the pastor can at least put on a tie...but NO!  lol


 Nope....can't think of anything.   lol

Time for my nap---I'll be back later to harass you.  Carry on.  ;)

gotnothinonme
by Silver Member on Jun. 17, 2012 at 8:21 PM

You know poodles, for one who only stopped into the post to refuse to participate in a post that used the word homophobic- I do believe you failed, lol...ah, well, I'm only yanking your chain a bit anyway, I must say, I was mostly having fun- I have no idea if you ever lie, nor is it my business, it is a statistical improbability to say that you never lie, but ultimately, perhaps you don't- perhaps you just walked past people blurting out truths as you see them and leaving people weeping in your wake!

In regards to the post itself, I would be interested in reading the book if nothing else to see how it affected the author and what his ultimate take away from the experiment was- social experiments always interest me. He did lie, but many in social experiments do in one form or fashion in an attempt to really place themselves in anothers situation- wearing fat suits, or changing their appearance to decieve people to get the "real" responses they couldn't get by simply asking people a direct question in this pc world where we all deny that we have any biases, preconcieved notions or hang ups about anything.

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