Parents and Teachers~ Would you support extra curriculum for peers of Special Needs Kids?

[Radarma]

 I like to observe how children interact with one another, both in a school setting and within their network of peers at home.

Recently I observed a falling out of sorts within a group of neighborhood boy buds.

 One of the kids (age 9) is special needs, ADHD/ODD and he was pissed that the rest of the group were not "following the rules". I sat back and watched the group of boys get frustrated with the SN (special needs) child's apparent inability to "go with the flow". They threw their hands up and said "whatever" and left the SN's boy standing there, alone, confused and pissed off.

 

 

SOOOOOO, I got to thinking, as I often do.

 

With the increasing number of special needs kids in our lives; from school settings to neighborhood and even within family settings, HOW can we better equip the peers to understand, navigate and realize the particular limitations of some of the SN kids?

Are our schools doing enough? Are they doing anything?

(In our district, the answer is NO, there is ZERO education for the PEERS of SN kids.)

 This concerns me.  

 

So, I am asking you all, mothers and teachers, would you support some sort of cirriculum designed to educate the peers of these SN kids? I am thinking a short series, SIMPLE powerpoint presentation form of how these kids feel, why they sometimes behave the way they behave, how you (peer) can help and even mitigate some of their roadblocks (thus teaching empathy) and how NOT to blame and label the kid with SN's.

NOW...here's the twist, lol. From speaking within my own personal network of parents, educators and the like, I am getting some seriously mixed reactions. Which brings me to this post...the biggest trepidation is coming in the form of: "well that WILL label them, and it is not the school's job to cover this, that falls in the lap of the parent!"

And from the parents of the SN kids: "We don't want our child identified as needing something, anything above or beyond what other kids need."

 Here are a couple of links that touch on this idea of how to empower the peers of SN kids.

How do you feel about this topic, moms?

 

 

http://www.education.com/magazine/article/teaching_kids_special_needs_peers/

http://www.care.com/special-needs-teaching-your-child-about-peers-with-special-needs-p1017-q598.html

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Mipsy]

I'm a sn mom and I have to say my thoughts as I was reading this, as well intended this is, I don't want my child being singled out and have a spotlight put on him unwillingly.

At the same time, saying that makes me hate myself cuz I am contradicting myself in a way I feel. My son has epilepsy and a feeding tube and will when he gets into school. I have thought of eventually wanting to do a presentation on some of his issues in his calsses so his peers could ask questions and what not etc. I knwo many sn moms who do this and it usually goes very well. Of course I would only do this with the permission from my child.

Part of me thinks this is a great idea but I also think that it is obvious that compassion needs to be taught more in school and at home.

I think you should post thsi in the Raising Special Needs Kids group and see what they say.

[nuclear_sugar]

Yes, I would love to see more done to help facilitate communication and understanding between children with special needs and their non-disabled peers.
I think there are several ways to accomplish such a goal. At my school, we have a "peer helper" program, where students sign up to give up one elective period per week to volunteer as a helper in the ID-Severe room. Before participating, these students have to go through sensitivity training that teaches them about different disabilities and issues and how to react to them. I think this kind of thing should be broadened and encouraged among students, and the training session could be mandatory enrichment for all students.

I also think this sort of skill could be woven into our curriculum, particularly in Language and Social Studies classes. We could read about a fictional or historical character who dealt with X issue, then read about issue X and generate reports or participate in brainstorms or role-play showing how to handle situations that might come up with issue X.

The biggest issue I think MY school would face is the parents; many of them teach their children (especially higher-functioning autistic children or kids with ADHD) not to talk about their struggle, not to allow the teacher to "single them out" by publicly giving them their required accommodations, etc etc. This is frustrating because it's hard to teach kids to accept each others' differences when they aren't taught to accept themselves.

[nuclear_sugar]

You know, my mom came into my brothers' class when he was young and gave a power-point to explain his "differences." My brother has Asperger's syndrome, and was diagnosed back before the disorder was well-known. He also went to a very closed-minded private school...mom came in and explained things to the kids and gave them (and the teachers) tips on how to diffuse tensions. It really helped, and I don't think it made him feel any more singled out than he already felt with his disability.

Quoting Mipsy:

I'm a sn mom and I have to say my thoughts as I was reading this, as well intended this is, I don't want my child being singled out and have a spotlight put on him unwillingly.

At the same time, saying that makes me hate myself cuz I am contradicting myself in a way I feel. My son has epilepsy and a feeding tube and will when he gets into school. I have thought of eventually wanting to do a presentation on some of his issues in his calsses so his peers could ask questions and what not etc. I knwo many sn moms who do this and it usually goes very well. Of course I would only do this with the permission from my child.

Part of me thinks this is a great idea but I also think that it is obvious that compassion needs to be taught more in school and at home.

I think you should post thsi in the Raising Special Needs Kids group and see what they say.

[wickedfiress]

In life, you will always have to learn how to interact with different personality types. I don't know why this needs to be specifically taught to non-special needs students about special needs students. That IS singling SN kids out, there is no way to spin it that it isn't. 

Take this idea, and translate it into dealing with peers with differing personality types in general, and it would be the most beneficial to ALL children, since this isn't something that every set of parents can teach, considering many adults have problems doing this. 

[Radarma]

 

Quoting Mipsy:

I'm a sn mom and I have to say my thoughts as I was reading this, as well intended this is, I don't want my child being singled out and have a spotlight put on him unwillingly.

At the same time, saying that makes me hate myself cuz I am contradicting myself in a way I feel. My son has epilepsy and a feeding tube and will when he gets into school. I have thought of eventually wanting to do a presentation on some of his issues in his calsses so his peers could ask questions and what not etc. I knwo many sn moms who do this and it usually goes very well. Of course I would only do this with the permission from my child.

Part of me thinks this is a great idea but I also think that it is obvious that compassion needs to be taught more in school and at home.

I think you should post thsi in the Raising Special Needs Kids group and see what they say.

 Done.

:)

Thx

[Radarma]

 

Quoting wickedfiress:

In life, you will always have to learn how to interact with different personality types. I don't know why this needs to be specifically taught to non-special needs students about special needs students. That IS singling SN kids out, there is no way to spin it that it isn't. 

Take this idea, and translate it into dealing with peers with differing personality types in general, and it would be the most beneficial to ALL children, since this isn't something that every set of parents can teach, considering many adults have problems doing this. 

 Good points, and I am hearing this from many parents as I bring this up in my circles.

 

[sherry132]

I don't know. I have a SN child, and honestly, the school where the was education was the place where the most bullying occurred. 

The sad thing is, it wasn't just the kids, it was the parents too. 

I found it was more important to educate my daughter so she could educate their friends, which seems to have worked way better than the efforts the school made. Also, I armed my son with ability to like himself enough that bullying didn't bother him. Have there been times when he was hurt, of course, but the friends he has are true friends, people he can depend on. 

I honestly don't have a clue how to make the education better, it's a nice thought, but for us, all it caused was more discrimination.

[newmommy430]

As a mother of a child with autism, I think that if presented correctly this could be great.

Instead of singling out a paricular student or type of special needs, maybe a general class on different types of special needs.

We raise awareness in the classroom on racial discrimination, so I don't see why we shouldn't for special needs.

[momtoscott]

My son is autistic and has been mainstreamed since he was in second grade.  The schools already do presentations and units on bullying.  This does help some, maybe not a lot.  Empathy and tolerance for different abilities are slow-to-develop traits even in many NT (neurotypical) children.  Once DS hit middle school and was in different classes, the mix of students who were accepting changed from class to class. 

A crucially important thing, IMO, is for the SN student to have an adult in the school who can help him/her understand social situations and challenges as they come up.  For DS, this has been the school counselor, who he had lunch with once a week.  He went to her office when he was feeling upset or overwhelmed, as well.  This is probably more beneficial than classroom presentations, but those can be valuable too. 

As kids get older they get more and more self conscious about being singled out, so I think classroom presentations or special classes on this issue might be best handled at the elementary school level. 

[cjsbmom]

I am glad you're asking this question, because as the mom  of a child with high functioning autism, all I ever hear is how my son has to adapt to *his* peers. Why can't the peers learn that not everyone is the same as them and to be more willing to adapt themselves?

I think the best way to do this is for adults to intervene and explain to the kids that not everyone thinks/feels/acts the same way they do, but that doesn't mean they are wrong or should be shunned. Maybe if more adults educated themselves, kids would be more tolerant.