Parenting a full time job or do you consider it "part time"
I have been noticing more and more of people taking on the role of parenthood to the "Part time" extent. I'm a stay at home full time Mom. I used to work so I know what it's like to have a child or children in a daycare setting. I don't want you all to think that I don't know both sides of the feeling when I bring up this topic. Due to medical reasons and finally getting a grip at the financial aspect of actually working a full time job there are reasons my husband and I thought I should quit. I call it a Full Time Stay at home Mom because I no longer use day care, my child isn't in daycare or preschool ( unfortunately where we live preschool is based on income and well my husband didn't make the cut for her to go preschool - that being said it's kind of sad that you make enough money to be considered too much to quailify for your child to get early education.), and I don't work so I take it serioulsy about being here for my family if they need me.
I noticed yesterday evening my family and I were at "Target" shopping. I also have this strict rule that when we leave the house our 5 year old daughter must stay with us or at least one adult while we are shopping. We do not let her go off by herself. 1. It's dangerous, you really don't know about people these days. 2. She's 5. Enough said there. Well as were were rounding out of an aisle to continue further in the store. There were 2 children one around the age of maybe 7 and the other maybe 5. No mother in site. They were rolling/playing catch in the store. After almost tripping the woman in front of me ( which she had an infant in her cart also) my husband stopped the closest boy and said " You all shouldn't be doing that". No apology came from the boy only a shrug at his shoulders. My husband continued in a stern voice " Where's the parent or adult you're with?" The boy says, " She's at the hair salon." As my husband bit his tongue, we walked off and continued our shopping. As we reached the fresh grocery section he lets an employee know what's going on. The employee told him that she already had an complaint about it and when she went back the first time the boys ran off. When she went back there again the kids ran off from her again.
People want to complain about children these days. I understand that I read it everyday on people comments on yahoo, facebook and ect ... But really the start of a childs habit comes from the parent or parents. I know I have friends that are single mothers, I'm not downing the people that are working/ busting their butts out there for what they want their children to have. Everyone I know what's something better than they had when they were children and if you say you don't you're lying. It's not about how much money you make it's about the little things in life that make a difference. Watching a TV show with your child or reading a book or playing with toys are what you children are going to remember, not blowing them off to get your hair done. Most people, not all, that complain are part of the ones that aren't watching their kids. There's a time in your life when you give up that "me" time to be a parent. Being a parent means giving up alot of the "me" time for a while. Not saying you won't get it back, but there really is a time and place for that happen. If you can't get a sitter, or if your partner can't watch the child or children then maybe just maybe you shouldn't in this case get your hair done, or get the mani/pedi you wanted. I know boys are different from girls to entertain, but you could make a compromise. There's always an option, it's not life or death situation.
I know this is long, but I just had to get it out there. I know it won't make difference on people, but you never know. I take my part serioulsy, yes it aggrevates me when I see parents do the things they do, but I'm not in their shoes. I don't know what their life intales. All I can say is appreciate the time you have them and instill the manners and behavior you expect them to have. Without that children will keep being the way they are with no manners. Please and thank you, excuse me, Yes mam and No Sir, can go along way when speaking with people.
While your husband's heart is in the right place, he was a total stranger to this young child. Of course that child wasn't going to give any type of reaction to him.
It's parenting and yes, it's a "job" that should be taken very, very seriously. And you will encounter many parents along the way who don't do things as you think they should.
But be prepared to bite that tongue a lot.
Quoting whitneyerin:
my husband stopped the closest boy and said " You all shouldn't be doing that". No apology came from the boy only a shrug at his shoulders. My husband continued in a stern voice " Where's the parent or adult you're with?" The boy says, " She's at the hair salon."
I don't consider my role as SAHM a job, but as a responsibility to our children. I do not get paid to stay home, but I am hoping the rewards for choosing to stay home will be worth the sacrifices.
As far as what other people choose to do and how they choose to raise their children, what can I say? Nothing. I have opinions that are hardly valid out side of my circle of family and friends. People frustrate me, unattended children frustrate me sometimes. You know what else is frustrating? People who cannot park and inadvertently use two spots in a crowded parking lot. Should I stand by that car until the driver arrives and suggest that person take driving lessons? MEH
Parenting is neither full time nor part time. No matter where else you work or what else you do, it's a 24 hour on-call.
I get pissed when I see stuff like that too, OP. I don't begrudge the woman her haircut. But it's not okay for her kids to run amok in the store. Parenting is about getting haircuts WHILE making sure your kids are getting their needs met as well. hat could mean anything from getting a babysitter to letting them sit and have a slice in the snack bar to making them shut up and watch the haircut.
I don't worry so much about a 5 & 7 year old getting hurt or snatched in a Target. But it's not good for them to learn that it's okay to behave this way. It's not good for them to learn that there are some times and places where Mommy doesn't care what they do, just as long as they leave her in peace for a half hour.
This woman getting her hair done and leaving her children alone in the store is straight up irresponsible. It has nothing to do with whether she is a SAHM or a working mom.
Quoting Veni.Vidi.Vici.:
I don't consider my role as SAHM a job, but as a responsibility to our children. I do not get paid to stay home, but I am hoping the rewards for choosing to stay home will be worth the sacrifices.
As far as what other people choose to do and how they choose to raise their children, what can I say? Nothing. I have opinions that are hardly valid out side of my circle of family and friends. People frustrate me, unattended children frustrate me sometimes. You know what else is frustrating? People who cannot park and inadvertently use two spots in a crowded parking lot. Should I stand by that car until the driver arrives and suggest that person take driving lessons? MEH
I can't stand that!
Quoting OHgirlinCA:
Quoting Veni.Vidi.Vici.:
I don't consider my role as SAHM a job, but as a responsibility to our children. I do not get paid to stay home, but I am hoping the rewards for choosing to stay home will be worth the sacrifices.
As far as what other people choose to do and how they choose to raise their children, what can I say? Nothing. I have opinions that are hardly valid out side of my circle of family and friends. People frustrate me, unattended children frustrate me sometimes. You know what else is frustrating? People who cannot park and inadvertently use two spots in a crowded parking lot. Should I stand by that car until the driver arrives and suggest that person take driving lessons? MEH
I can't stand that!
I drive an SUV and I manage to get my big vehicle between the lines. There is no reason for a Camry to not fit between the parking lines.
Quoting Veni.Vidi.Vici.:
Quoting OHgirlinCA:
Quoting Veni.Vidi.Vici.:
I don't consider my role as SAHM a job, but as a responsibility to our children. I do not get paid to stay home, but I am hoping the rewards for choosing to stay home will be worth the sacrifices.
As far as what other people choose to do and how they choose to raise their children, what can I say? Nothing. I have opinions that are hardly valid out side of my circle of family and friends. People frustrate me, unattended children frustrate me sometimes. You know what else is frustrating? People who cannot park and inadvertently use two spots in a crowded parking lot. Should I stand by that car until the driver arrives and suggest that person take driving lessons? MEH
I can't stand that!
I drive an SUV and I manage to get my big vehicle between the lines. There is no reason for a Camry to not fit between the parking lines.
I have a hard time with our Silverado since I'm not usually the one driving it, but I take the time to adjust my parking so I am within the lines... and straight :P
I'm with you. We too always closely watch our kids are are actively engaged. We always have been. We teach respect, manners, etc. Even in preschool and school we do extra schooling at home, and I do see it as a 150% job. I think most people think as you do, and perhaps some just don't know any better.
But, people have different standards, abilities and different circumstances.
While I may not agree with it, their family isn't my family. If I can, in a situation like you described, I'd try to help- maybe for the child's safety get a clerk to bring him to the hair salon with the mom. The other thought is to call security or the police, he's a minor and it's simply unsafe.
I believe it is Full Time, no matter what. I think about my kids all day while at work. I thyink about cleaning their rooms, making sure they are ok at my MIL's, at school, etc... I also make sure to take them to practices, doctors and more. I most definitley want to be a stay at home mom so that I can do more for my family. Now that I am a working mom, its a whole lot more stress.
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- whitneyerin
on Jul. 3, 2012 at 8:09 AM