Off those Intense Threads a Bit, I'm Feeling Guilty About Something, Would You?
I worked in Spec. Ed. for around 10 yrs., I was layed off 3-4 yrs. ago. Right in the beginning when lays off were going on. I was VERY good at my job, but Special Education Programs took a hard hit in California. I don't mean to brag or anything, but I always felt my most confident & it made me feel the happiest. I felt, I was the best at my job, mainly because I'm was SO passoniate towards the kids. I worked in Reg. Ed. for about 1 yr., but went back to Special Ed
The kids were so loving & really appreciated you being there. I ALWAYS made them feel special & cared about. When at home maybe they didn't have that. I wanted to give them that feeling of someone does care. When, other Teachers/Aides didn't care IF they just sat there watched TV & did nothing. I ALWAYS took them outside in their wheelchairs, let them look around at nature, had them play on anything that I could help them with. Talked to them, even if maybe they couldn't hear or understand. I would make them laugh & smile. I worked with them on objects that would help them use their hands, legs, eyes just anything I could get them to do. Despite other workers that said, don't bother. I did. Anyway, on with my point of this thread.
Since, not working at the very thing that gave me a purpose in life, I feel guilty. Guilty because I DON'T have to work, Guilty because my husband gets up every morning to go to work. Instead of me enjoying life now that I've raised 2 kids successfully & I DO feel I deserve now to just kick back, I feel guilty. ummm...That I need to fill up a job that was 8 hrs. (mine was 6) like my husband does. I'm not old enough to retire & still feel I have alot of yrs. to be working. When I was layed off & the reason why I didn't go out and apply for another job, was I was taking care of my dad that died. Then, my mom. Anyway, sorry so long.
As much as I tell myself, "hey I raised two kids, that took up 22 yrs. of my life, to do it successfully".....before that worked 12 yrs. full-time, 10 yrs. mostly as a Sub. working off & on when my kids were older. Yet, I feel guilty I'm not doing enough. Thing is I don't do enough around the house, to feel like I'm doing 'my share'...What do you all think?
My mom recently retired, she is 67 now; and worked her whole life in addition to raising kids.
She now spends her days on a bowling league, volunteers two shifts a week at her local hospital, and volunteers one day a week at the animal shelter.
The woman CANNOT sit still.
I understand what you are saying and maybe some volunteer time would soothe your soul at this point in your life?
Are you financially in a place where you are content and feel you financially prepared for a time when your husband can't work or retires? Haven't you mentioned your husband is disabled? Should you be doing more so he can now rest after decades of providing for you?
Volunteer.
Idk, I was never an at home person until recently. I work about 2-3 shifts a month, just to maintain skills and save some cash. Had my husband not signed up for the corporate bicycle after his job was eliminated 5 years ago, I would still be working a couple of days a week.
I sometimes feel guilty too, particularly because I could easily work closer to home, but...I do not "need" to work, so why take up a position that someone else could use to support their family and working weekends or off hours would interfere with family time...and vacations.
How about volunteering at a children's hospital, or something along those lines. You can do part time and feel like your are doing something, and helping at the same time.
Yeah, I've been looking into that. But, I feel I'm still not contributing in some way. Maybe, it's financially like my husband. I feel I'm too young to retire. What I want to do & I do have an application for Volunteering there, is Volunteer at Loma Linda Univ. in the Children's Cancer Ward. I know it's where my love lies, to help children & their parents get through this hard time. Ronald McDonald house is the type of Children's Ward they have their. My daughter did some Volunteer work there. It's kinda far away though, that's my main problem is where I live is more rural. I would costs me LOTS in gas to get there. But, you're right & I thank-you for the suggestion. :)
Quoting Radarma:
My mom recently retired, she is 67 now; and worked her whole life in addition to raising kids.
She now spends her days on a bowling league, volunteers two shifts a week at her local hospital, and volunteers one day a week at the animal shelter.
The woman CANNOT sit still.
I understand what you are saying and maybe some volunteer time would soothe your soul at this point in your life?
No, & I'm sorry if I made it confusing. My husband IS retired from the Grocery Industry & collect his retirement. He was 55 when he retired. Then, he went to work close by our house & is collecting a pretty good 401 plan there as well. I retired I guess you can call it from my County Job in Spec. Ed. Programs 3-4 yrs ago, actually it was during those BIG lay offs, so I just took my money out of the PERS Retirement Fund. Because, I didn't feel I would ever go back. It's just I'm TOO young to retire. I want to work again, but I think mainly because I feel guilty.
Guilty for not bringing in any money & getting up early for work, like my husband does. Actually to be honest, I feel like a bum. lol..I wonder if I should even feel like that. I mean I did work F/T BEFORE having kids or even being married for 12 yrs. Then, 1 yr. after we got married, then I was a SAHM. I always knew I didn't want to HAVE TO work when we had kids. So, we just worked, worked, worked SO I could stay home. My 1st job was being a mom. That's why I say my 1st job (if you can say that) was being a SAHM. Providing a good/happy home for my family. Being there for ALL of them. So, that's why I call it 22 yrs. from the time my last child left for college & first one left I considered that part of my retirement. Yet, I feel guilty still.
Quoting jewels5525:
I thought you and your husband were retired????
Quoting Radarma:My mom recently retired, she is 67 now; and worked her whole life in addition to raising kids.
She now spends her days on a bowling league, volunteers two shifts a week at her local hospital, and volunteers one day a week at the animal shelter.
The woman CANNOT sit still.
I understand what you are saying and maybe some volunteer time would soothe your soul at this point in your life?
I don't know if you should feel guilty or not, but you do seem bored.
You write a lot on this site. Why not take a memoir or fiction class at a community college near you and make something that you can share with your children and their children, or the world?
Or volunteer. Or learn a craft or art, something complicated and difficult that takes years to master. Something that you can throw yourself into.
If you miss working with SN kids, I imagine an agency that provides respite services to parents of SN kids would love to have you work with them, and it might be for only a few hours at a time.
Does the Polygamous Community Deserve Food Stamps?
- Naturewoman4
on Jul. 6, 2012 at 1:33 PM