Off those Intense Threads a Bit, I'm Feeling Guilty About Something, Would You?
I worked in Spec. Ed. for around 10 yrs., I was layed off 3-4 yrs. ago. Right in the beginning when lays off were going on. I was VERY good at my job, but Special Education Programs took a hard hit in California. I don't mean to brag or anything, but I always felt my most confident & it made me feel the happiest. I felt, I was the best at my job, mainly because I'm was SO passoniate towards the kids. I worked in Reg. Ed. for about 1 yr., but went back to Special Ed
The kids were so loving & really appreciated you being there. I ALWAYS made them feel special & cared about. When at home maybe they didn't have that. I wanted to give them that feeling of someone does care. When, other Teachers/Aides didn't care IF they just sat there watched TV & did nothing. I ALWAYS took them outside in their wheelchairs, let them look around at nature, had them play on anything that I could help them with. Talked to them, even if maybe they couldn't hear or understand. I would make them laugh & smile. I worked with them on objects that would help them use their hands, legs, eyes just anything I could get them to do. Despite other workers that said, don't bother. I did. Anyway, on with my point of this thread.
Since, not working at the very thing that gave me a purpose in life, I feel guilty. Guilty because I DON'T have to work, Guilty because my husband gets up every morning to go to work. Instead of me enjoying life now that I've raised 2 kids successfully & I DO feel I deserve now to just kick back, I feel guilty. ummm...That I need to fill up a job that was 8 hrs. (mine was 6) like my husband does. I'm not old enough to retire & still feel I have alot of yrs. to be working. When I was layed off & the reason why I didn't go out and apply for another job, was I was taking care of my dad that died. Then, my mom. Anyway, sorry so long.
As much as I tell myself, "hey I raised two kids, that took up 22 yrs. of my life, to do it successfully".....before that worked 12 yrs. full-time, 10 yrs. mostly as a Sub. working off & on when my kids were older. Yet, I feel guilty I'm not doing enough. Thing is I don't do enough around the house, to feel like I'm doing 'my share'...What do you all think?