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Ok. No father of the year award for this guy!

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You have GOT to be kidding me!  I hope this girl leaves his sorry butt so fast!  What do you think.  Would you stay with a guy like this?

Couple in Colo. Theater Shooting Escape With Baby and Toddler in Tow

A young couple who'd recently moved from New Mexico and were attending the Aurora, Colo., midnight screening of "The Dark Knight Rises" with their children said they had planned to sit in the front row by the exit in which a gunman entered and allegedly killed at least 12 people.

[Related: Full coverage of the Aurora shooting]

Jamie Rohrs, 25, said that before the movie started, he and his fiancee, Patricia Legarreta, also 25, had opted for seats in the second-floor balcony. Rohrs held their 4-month-old son, Ethan, while Legarreta sat next to her 4-year-old daughter, Azeria, who was asleep with her head in her mother's lap.

"Where the gunman came in, we were going to sit right there," Rohrs told ABC News today. "God was definitely with us and watching over us. I just thank God we sat where we did and showed up late."

Fifteen minutes into the movie, Legarreta said, someone walked into the theater from the exit and threw something. Police now allege that James Holmes, 24, burst into the movie house and started shooting patrons, killing at least 12 and injuring at least 50.

[Slideshow: Mass shooting at Colorado movie theater]

Legarreta said that after seeing smoke and then hearing gunshots, she heard Rohrs yell for her to get on the ground.

"I threw my daughter on the floor," she said. "I just remember thinking my fiance has my son."

Legarreta said she was wounded in her leg as she stood to move between her daughter and the gun shots.

"It was headed toward my daughter," she said through tears today. "Had I not moved her -- I just moved her in front of me. ... I don't know what would happened to her."

Legarreta said she had shrapnel in her leg from the upper thigh to the ankle. While she was on the floor, she said, she could see her 4-month-old baby on the ground near the stairs. Legarreta said she did not know the whereabouts of Rohrs.

"At that point, I reached out and I grabbed him and pulled him in to me," she said. "I didn't even check my leg until we were out in the parking lot."

Rohrs, who had Ethan, said he jumped over the seat with the baby in his arms. He said he considered lying on the ground and playing dead but feared for his son's life.

"I'm trying to keep him low. ... And he's crying," Rohrs said. "People are running all over. I'm tripping and falling. I don't know if I laid him down or sat him down. I'm wondering maybe there's more of them. [I'm thinking] 'He's crying and they're going to come get me.' I look up to see if I can run. I'm ducking, dodging, turning left, turning right. ... Every time you hear a gun shot, it's like 'Oh, I'm dead.'"

"I'm just disoriented after I put him down," Rohrs said. "I'm just waiting for me to hit the ground and fall down dead. You could see the gunfire and people are dropping."

He said he wondered where Ethan was but realized he could not go back to get him. Rohrs finally jumped over the balcony and ended up outside.

"It just felt like the worst thing ever because my son's still in there," he told ABC News. "My girlfriend is still in there. I'm out here. Who leaves their child there?"

He said Legarreta called him from another phone and he drove back to the theater. They were eventually taken to the hospital and released.

[Slideshow: Suspect's apartment booby trapped]

In an interview with ABC News, Legaretta said she just ran as fast as she could with the baby and her daughter when the gunshots stopped.

"[I just said] 'I'm not going to die in here. Me and my kids are not going to die in this building,'" she said. "I'm just happy that we got our kids out. It was so hard sitting in the hospital. ... Thinking of all the people that we saw. Hoping and praying that they got out."

Rohrs said the two took their children to the show because they figured they'd sleep through it.

"We just moved here from New Mexico," he said. "We have to go out. We have to do things. You don't think you're going to get shot. You're just living your life."

by on Jul. 20, 2012 at 10:54 PM
Replies (181-190):
LoveMyBoyK
by Ruby Member on Jul. 22, 2012 at 11:41 PM
I feel the same way. My kid comes first. Period. Anybody intentionally harms him, myself included, or deliberately places him in harms way, especially as a means of saving themselves, there is no compassion or understanding for that.


Quoting turtle68:

No I  would not defend my actions if they ended with a dead child.  Like I said with hindsight there was an easy option that kept my kids safe rather than engage with them. 

I watered down the incident as the men who entered our home knew we were there, it was broad daylight our front windows were opened and my kids were loud and noisy at the time.  If they were willing to break into our home (on the quiet because they were breaking into a back window) knowing there were kids home then they were willing to hurt someone to get what they wanted.  All that knowledge rattled around in my head for about thirty seconds before autopilot engaged. 

I felt trapped...but that still doesnt mean I would defend my action if it caused the death of my child.  I am unwaivering in my position that my kids mean everything to me, if I or hubby or anyone else harmed them...or put them in harms way.  It would be unforgivable.  It is my makeup, probably formed from watching my ex place our 1yo daughter in front of himself as a shield from me attacking him after he punched me in my 7mth pregnant stomach... to me being a victim of child abuse.  Im immovable in this area.

Do you think if you put your kids in harms way deliberately as this man did and they were killed ...you would forgive yourself and can therefore find compassion for this man?

Quoting LindaClement:


So, if your choice to engage had turned out badly (one of your children died)... would you be defending it? You would never second-guess it? Perhaps they lived because the people involved had no intention of killing anyone, you or your kids (unlike the idiot in the theatre, who clearly had ever intention of killing everyone he could manage)... and so it doesn't really matter much which you chose.

I think we have a hard time extending to others that which we deny ourselves. When we're unforgiving of our own mistakes --whether they lead to death or not-- we transfer that to others.

I expect to make mistakes. I expect not to have all the information I need to make 'the best' choices possible. I expect to utterly fail, from time to time.

I expect the same from others. So when they do, I tend toward compassion and understanding.

Quoting turtle68:

Bit of both....In my situation we were a victim of home invasion.  I was a single mother with a 3yo and 5yo.  In a space of approx 2mins...my reaction was to keep my kids safe while evaluating my options.

I automatically went into defense mode while trying to figure out how to keep my kids safe.  In hindsight...I could of fled with them out the front door instead of engaging the intruders, but my brain was telling me that they could be out the front door waiting. 

I can forgive peoples actions....if they dont put harm in my kids way or cause harm to any of my children, stepchildren and extended family.

I dont forgive those actions.

Quoting LindaClement:

Interesting parallel... 

I wonder: do you often feel like you're carefully evaluating everything you choose to do, or does some of it happen on autopilot?

I hope to think that people do the best that they can, and when they let themselves (and others) down, that they can be forgiven.

Quoting turtle68:

If I shoplifted and was forever judged as a no good thief...then I think that is unfair.  I can control my ability to shoplift, stop it, never to do again.

Base instincts ...are inner core reactions.  They may never come to light in a lifetime...but a mother, wife...husband...they want to believe that they have it in them to do the right thing to protect those they love.  If it comes out that they cant, then you have to re-evaluate the relationship 

That is something that would make me leave that person, because I believe it cant be changed.

If I was to leave my children in a dangerous situation to save myself...I dont doubt base instinct kicked in.  His inner core reaction was to save himself.  That is NOT a favourable action for a partner.

Quoting LindaClement:

I'm not sure what you mean:

do you mean that you'd object to having people turn and forever walk away from you based on something you did in a single instance when you were 'younger' than you are now (like, say... yesterday, or a decade ago)...

But in your opinion when it comes to basic instinces something else should happen?

Not sure what 'basic instincts ... imo cant' means.

Quoting turtle68:

 If I was to be judged by some of my actions I did as a youth then no.  I can change attitude.

Base Instincts....IMO cant.











Posted on CafeMom Mobile
LadyBugMom09
by Silver Member on Jul. 22, 2012 at 11:42 PM
Poco hombre
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
LindaClement
by Linda on Jul. 23, 2012 at 2:34 AM

You've missed my point:

Both situations resulted in nobody dying.

Isn't that 100% of what actually matters?

Whatever kind of horrible this father was (or you, frankly, if a million strangers were picking apart what you chose to do), his baby didn't die. His baby wasn't even grazed. What he did may well have saved his life and the life of his son. What his wife did saved the life of their daughter. Yea!

I expect to make mistakes --lots of them, every day. I expect to be forgiven for them, but even if I'm not, I'll be forgiving myself. Because I know, above all else, my motives are free of malice.

Did he put the baby down with the intent to kill the child? Did he leave, so the child would certainly be killed? Did he leave in order for his girlfriend to be killed?

Fairly ridiculous suggestions --but he's being ragged out for success. Imagine how it would be for him if he'd stayed and any one of them had died. Better? Worse?

The problem with judgements (especially when you're not in the situation, and can't see it from all sides) is that they are, by their very nature, simplistic, critical and lack perspective. Which also makes them harsh, unnecessary, unsupportable and indicative of the kind of vile thoughts the judger has in their own heads, about themselves, every day.

Quoting turtle68:

No I  would not defend my actions if they ended with a dead child.  Like I said with hindsight there was an easy option that kept my kids safe rather than engage with them. 

I watered down the incident as the men who entered our home knew we were there, it was broad daylight our front windows were opened and my kids were loud and noisy at the time.  If they were willing to break into our home (on the quiet because they were breaking into a back window) knowing there were kids home then they were willing to hurt someone to get what they wanted.  All that knowledge rattled around in my head for about thirty seconds before autopilot engaged. 

I felt trapped...but that still doesnt mean I would defend my action if it caused the death of my child.  I am unwaivering in my position that my kids mean everything to me, if I or hubby or anyone else harmed them...or put them in harms way.  It would be unforgivable.  It is my makeup, probably formed from watching my ex place our 1yo daughter in front of himself as a shield from me attacking him after he punched me in my 7mth pregnant stomach... to me being a victim of child abuse.  Im immovable in this area.

Do you think if you put your kids in harms way deliberately as this man did and they were killed ...you would forgive yourself and can therefore find compassion for this man?

Quoting LindaClement:


So, if your choice to engage had turned out badly (one of your children died)... would you be defending it? You would never second-guess it? Perhaps they lived because the people involved had no intention of killing anyone, you or your kids (unlike the idiot in the theatre, who clearly had ever intention of killing everyone he could manage)... and so it doesn't really matter much which you chose.

I think we have a hard time extending to others that which we deny ourselves. When we're unforgiving of our own mistakes --whether they lead to death or not-- we transfer that to others.

I expect to make mistakes. I expect not to have all the information I need to make 'the best' choices possible. I expect to utterly fail, from time to time.

I expect the same from others. So when they do, I tend toward compassion and understanding.

Quoting turtle68:

Bit of both....In my situation we were a victim of home invasion.  I was a single mother with a 3yo and 5yo.  In a space of approx 2mins...my reaction was to keep my kids safe while evaluating my options.

I automatically went into defense mode while trying to figure out how to keep my kids safe.  In hindsight...I could of fled with them out the front door instead of engaging the intruders, but my brain was telling me that they could be out the front door waiting. 

I can forgive peoples actions....if they dont put harm in my kids way or cause harm to any of my children, stepchildren and extended family.

I dont forgive those actions.

Quoting LindaClement:

Interesting parallel... 

I wonder: do you often feel like you're carefully evaluating everything you choose to do, or does some of it happen on autopilot?

I hope to think that people do the best that they can, and when they let themselves (and others) down, that they can be forgiven.

Quoting turtle68:

If I shoplifted and was forever judged as a no good thief...then I think that is unfair.  I can control my ability to shoplift, stop it, never to do again.

Base instincts ...are inner core reactions.  They may never come to light in a lifetime...but a mother, wife...husband...they want to believe that they have it in them to do the right thing to protect those they love.  If it comes out that they cant, then you have to re-evaluate the relationship 

That is something that would make me leave that person, because I believe it cant be changed.

If I was to leave my children in a dangerous situation to save myself...I dont doubt base instinct kicked in.  His inner core reaction was to save himself.  That is NOT a favourable action for a partner.

Quoting LindaClement:

I'm not sure what you mean:

do you mean that you'd object to having people turn and forever walk away from you based on something you did in a single instance when you were 'younger' than you are now (like, say... yesterday, or a decade ago)...

But in your opinion when it comes to basic instinces something else should happen?

Not sure what 'basic instincts ... imo cant' means.

Quoting turtle68:

 If I was to be judged by some of my actions I did as a youth then no.  I can change attitude.

Base Instincts....IMO cant.











DollFace-23
by Member on Jul. 23, 2012 at 2:39 AM
I would die before id ever leave my child and SO to die!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
turtle68
by Mahinaarangi on Jul. 23, 2012 at 3:51 AM


Quoting LindaClement:

You've missed my point:

Trying a different approach and hopefully can follow your dialogue.

I dont think I missed your point...misunderstood your writings and couldnt see a point.

Both situations resulted in nobody dying.

Isn't that 100% of what actually matters?

Yes that is what matters...but the OP post and subsequent discussion was on what happened next.

How the end came to be, dictates how one would act in a future life risking event.  For a mother that is either as protector or as runaway coward.

Whatever kind of horrible this father was (or you, frankly, if a million strangers were picking apart what you chose to do), his baby didn't die. His baby wasn't even grazed. What he did may well have saved his life and the life of his son. What his wife did saved the life of their daughter. Yea!

I repeat.  The outcome is that all is safe, the way that happened depends on how I will see that person there forward.

I expect to make mistakes --lots of them, every day. I expect to be forgiven for them, but even if I'm not, I'll be forgiving myself. Because I know, above all else, my motives are free of malice.

See I can make mistakes...with and without malice and still forgive myself.  I dont see this man making a "mistake" this was a base reaction and one that I would see detrimental to the future wellbeing of our relationship

Did he put the baby down with the intent to kill the child? Did he leave, so the child would certainly be killed? Did he leave in order for his girlfriend to be killed?

He did leave the child in harms way

Fairly ridiculous suggestions --but he's being ragged out for success. Imagine how it would be for him if he'd stayed and any one of them had died. Better? Worse?

I am not ragging him out for the success that all lived.  I am ragging him out for being a coward...and how that would be enough for me not to be in a relationship with him.

The problem with judgements (especially when you're not in the situation, and can't see it from all sides) is that they are, by their very nature, simplistic, critical and lack perspective. Which also makes them harsh, unnecessary, unsupportable and indicative of the kind of vile thoughts the judger has in their own heads, about themselves, every day.

Not how I see the judgements being made.  IMO it is simplistic...basic and human.  I want a man who will protect his offspring and mate.  Any man who is less than that...is not worthy of partnership.

We see this from different views...me simplistic and basic, you with compassion and empathy.

Quoting turtle68:

No I  would not defend my actions if they ended with a dead child.  Like I said with hindsight there was an easy option that kept my kids safe rather than engage with them. 

I watered down the incident as the men who entered our home knew we were there, it was broad daylight our front windows were opened and my kids were loud and noisy at the time.  If they were willing to break into our home (on the quiet because they were breaking into a back window) knowing there were kids home then they were willing to hurt someone to get what they wanted.  All that knowledge rattled around in my head for about thirty seconds before autopilot engaged. 

I felt trapped...but that still doesnt mean I would defend my action if it caused the death of my child.  I am unwaivering in my position that my kids mean everything to me, if I or hubby or anyone else harmed them...or put them in harms way.  It would be unforgivable.  It is my makeup, probably formed from watching my ex place our 1yo daughter in front of himself as a shield from me attacking him after he punched me in my 7mth pregnant stomach... to me being a victim of child abuse.  Im immovable in this area.

Do you think if you put your kids in harms way deliberately as this man did and they were killed ...you would forgive yourself and can therefore find compassion for this man?

Quoting LindaClement:


So, if your choice to engage had turned out badly (one of your children died)... would you be defending it? You would never second-guess it? Perhaps they lived because the people involved had no intention of killing anyone, you or your kids (unlike the idiot in the theatre, who clearly had ever intention of killing everyone he could manage)... and so it doesn't really matter much which you chose.

I think we have a hard time extending to others that which we deny ourselves. When we're unforgiving of our own mistakes --whether they lead to death or not-- we transfer that to others.

I expect to make mistakes. I expect not to have all the information I need to make 'the best' choices possible. I expect to utterly fail, from time to time.

I expect the same from others. So when they do, I tend toward compassion and understanding.






Wife2AGeek
by on Jul. 23, 2012 at 5:15 AM

People do STUPID things in panic.  Sudden uncontrollable fear or anxiety, often causing wildly unthinking behavior. -  Terror.  Are people not grasping "uncontrollable"?  There were several heroes that day.  There were also people that froze and couldn't move, and either died, or by the grace of God was not shot.  There were also many that ran for their lives, and people did get separated from each other in all the chaos.  This man's story is not unique, and there have been many instances in "panic" where a Mother runs for it without her child.  

Could she leave him.  Sure.  Will she?  Maybe after the shock of this wears off.  But maybe she'll also understand the concept of "reaction."   Maybe he's a terrific guy.  Who goes to a movie expecting to get tear gassed and shot at?  How many of us, realistically, have been in this exact situation?  No one really KNOWS how they will react.  It's one thing to 'think' how you'd react.  We'd all be the hero and throw our bodies over our babies.  It's another when you can't breath, it's smokey, and you are hearing the horrible rounds of gunfire and people panicking and screaming...and your adrenaline and fight OR flight takes over.   He didn't throw his kid off the balcony.  He didn't use his girlfriend or the children as a human shield.  He simply panicked..and ran...and drove.  Judging this man on this ONE HORRIFIC and TERRIFYING instance?  His entire character as a person is defined by this ONE experience?   I hope and pray that everyone and this family can heal.   I hope and pray that no one here EVER has to be in any type of situation such as what happened in Aurora, Colorado.  


sweet-a-kins
by Emerald Member on Jul. 23, 2012 at 6:19 AM
This

WTF


Quoting Nighttiger:

I just can't wrap my brain around leaving your 4 month old on the ground alone.  And the kicker for me...he drove away!!! Seriously?!?  She had to call him back?? I understand running with your 4 month old and leaving your girlfriend if you feel you have to, but to put them on the floor and then driving away?!

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
LindaClement
by Linda on Jul. 23, 2012 at 10:07 AM

We absolutely see this completely differently.

Quoting turtle68:


Quoting LindaClement:

You've missed my point:

Trying a different approach and hopefully can follow your dialogue.

I dont think I missed your point...misunderstood your writings and couldnt see a point.

Both situations resulted in nobody dying.

Isn't that 100% of what actually matters?

Yes that is what matters...but the OP post and subsequent discussion was on what happened next.

How the end came to be, dictates how one would act in a future life risking event.  For a mother that is either as protector or as runaway coward.

Whatever kind of horrible this father was (or you, frankly, if a million strangers were picking apart what you chose to do), his baby didn't die. His baby wasn't even grazed. What he did may well have saved his life and the life of his son. What his wife did saved the life of their daughter. Yea!

I repeat.  The outcome is that all is safe, the way that happened depends on how I will see that person there forward.

I expect to make mistakes --lots of them, every day. I expect to be forgiven for them, but even if I'm not, I'll be forgiving myself. Because I know, above all else, my motives are free of malice.

See I can make mistakes...with and without malice and still forgive myself.  I dont see this man making a "mistake" this was a base reaction and one that I would see detrimental to the future wellbeing of our relationship

Did he put the baby down with the intent to kill the child? Did he leave, so the child would certainly be killed? Did he leave in order for his girlfriend to be killed?

He did leave the child in harms way

Fairly ridiculous suggestions --but he's being ragged out for success. Imagine how it would be for him if he'd stayed and any one of them had died. Better? Worse?

I am not ragging him out for the success that all lived.  I am ragging him out for being a coward...and how that would be enough for me not to be in a relationship with him.

The problem with judgements (especially when you're not in the situation, and can't see it from all sides) is that they are, by their very nature, simplistic, critical and lack perspective. Which also makes them harsh, unnecessary, unsupportable and indicative of the kind of vile thoughts the judger has in their own heads, about themselves, every day.

Not how I see the judgements being made.  IMO it is simplistic...basic and human.  I want a man who will protect his offspring and mate.  Any man who is less than that...is not worthy of partnership.

We see this from different views...me simplistic and basic, you with compassion and empathy.

Quoting turtle68:

No I  would not defend my actions if they ended with a dead child.  Like I said with hindsight there was an easy option that kept my kids safe rather than engage with them. 

I watered down the incident as the men who entered our home knew we were there, it was broad daylight our front windows were opened and my kids were loud and noisy at the time.  If they were willing to break into our home (on the quiet because they were breaking into a back window) knowing there were kids home then they were willing to hurt someone to get what they wanted.  All that knowledge rattled around in my head for about thirty seconds before autopilot engaged. 

I felt trapped...but that still doesnt mean I would defend my action if it caused the death of my child.  I am unwaivering in my position that my kids mean everything to me, if I or hubby or anyone else harmed them...or put them in harms way.  It would be unforgivable.  It is my makeup, probably formed from watching my ex place our 1yo daughter in front of himself as a shield from me attacking him after he punched me in my 7mth pregnant stomach... to me being a victim of child abuse.  Im immovable in this area.

Do you think if you put your kids in harms way deliberately as this man did and they were killed ...you would forgive yourself and can therefore find compassion for this man?

Quoting LindaClement:


So, if your choice to engage had turned out badly (one of your children died)... would you be defending it? You would never second-guess it? Perhaps they lived because the people involved had no intention of killing anyone, you or your kids (unlike the idiot in the theatre, who clearly had ever intention of killing everyone he could manage)... and so it doesn't really matter much which you chose.

I think we have a hard time extending to others that which we deny ourselves. When we're unforgiving of our own mistakes --whether they lead to death or not-- we transfer that to others.

I expect to make mistakes. I expect not to have all the information I need to make 'the best' choices possible. I expect to utterly fail, from time to time.

I expect the same from others. So when they do, I tend toward compassion and understanding.







LuvmyAiden
by Silver Member on Jul. 23, 2012 at 10:28 AM

Wow! Dh and I are both pistol instructors. We have read the literature and watched the videos and plan on taking a tactical training course soon. We both would have done things FAR differently but we know what to do. If I realized I was with a man who would leave his wife, dd and tiny baby in a theater with a shooting mad man I would be gone in a minute. As parents it is our job to protect our kids. I would take a bullet for mine any day of the week. There is no excuse for this guy's actions!

momtimesx4
by Silver Member on Jul. 23, 2012 at 11:19 AM

4 year old and a 4 month old at a midnight showing?  WTF

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