It’s worse to be raised by a single mother (than by two loving, decent parents), even if you’re not poor, in general. Please read past the title.

[futureshock]

The reason for reading past the title is that many people misunderstand the point if they do not read the article. 

For example:

No where in this article does it say that anyone should stay in an abusive relationship.  No where does it say that every child of a two parent home is perfect or that every child of a single parent home is doomed.

The Kids Are Not Really Alright

It’s worse to be raised by a single mother, even if you’re not poor.

By W. Bradford Wilcox|Posted Friday, July 20, 2012, at 8:22 AM ET

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Sad Single Mom.

Photograph by Thinkstock.

At first glance, I might qualify as the poster boy for Katie Roiphe’s recent Slate article defending single mothers and their children. Raised by a strong and resourceful single mother, I turned out OK. Sure, I had some unusually angry outbursts as a child (like the time I threw my lunchbox across the dining hall at camp for no good reason) and had to endure my share of therapy for that anger. But I have managed to steer clear of prison, earn a Ph.D., hold down a decent job, and marry up. My life is proof positive, as Roiphe argues, that married-parent families “do not have a monopoly on joy or healthy environments or thriving children.”

But, as a social scientist, I can also say that the academic research paints a much more complicated picture of the impact of family structure on children than does my life story or Roiphe’s experience. It is true, as Roiphe believes, that most children from single-parent homes turn out fine. In her book, For Better or For Worse, psychologist E. Mavis Hetherington estimated that about 75 percent of children of divorce suffered from no major pathologies. In other words, most children of divorce do not end up depressed, drugged out, or delinquent.

But Hetherington, who like Roiphe embraces changing family structures, also was honest enough to admit that divorce tends to double a child’s risk of a serious negative outcome. Specifically, she found that “twenty-five percent of youths from divorced families in comparison to 10 percent from non-divorced families did have serious social, emotional, or psychological problems.” Other research suggests that the children of never-married single parents tend to do somewhat worse than children of divorced single parents.

Take two contemporary social problems: teenage pregnancy and the incarceration of young males. Research by Sara McLanahan at Princeton University suggests that boys are significantly more likely to end up in jail or prison by the time they turn 30 if they are raised by a single mother. Specifically, McLanahan and a colleague found that boys raised in a single-parent household were more than twice as likely to be incarcerated, compared with boys raised in an intact, married home, even after controlling for differences in parental income, education, race, and ethnicity. Research on young men suggests they are less likely to engage in delinquent or illegal behavior when they have the affection, attention, and monitoring of their own mother and father.

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But daughters depend on dads as well. One study by Bruce Ellis of the University of Arizona found that about one-third of girls whose fathers left the home before they turned 6 ended up pregnant as teenagers, compared with just 5 percent of girls whose fathers were there throughout their childhood. This dramatic divide was narrowed a bit when Ellis controlled for parents’ socioeconomic background—but only by a few percentage points. The research on this topic suggests that girls raised by single mothers are less likely to be supervised, more likely to engage in early sex, and to end up pregnant compared with girls raised by their own married parents.

It’s true that poorer families are more likely to be headed by single mothers. But even factoring out class shows a clear difference. Research by the Economic Mobility Project at Pew suggests that children from intact families are also more likely to rise up the income ladder if they were raised in a low-income family, and less likely to fall into poverty if they were raised in a wealthy family. For instance, according to Pew’s analysis, 54 percent of today’s young adults who grew up in an intact two-parent home in the top-third of household income have remained in the top-third as adults, compared with just 37 percent of today’s young adults who grew up in a wealthy (top-third) but divorced family.

to read the rest:

http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2012/07/single_motherhood_worse_for_children_.html

[futureshock]

bump

[futureshock]

Quote:

Jason DeParle has a great piece in The New York Times showing that the growing marriage divide between Americans with a college degree and those without a college degree is a major driver of economic and social inequality in America. Money quote:

[Scholars] have said that changes in marriage patterns — as opposed to changes in individual earnings — may account for as much as 40 percent of the growth in certain measures of inequality. Long a nation of economic extremes, the United States is also becoming a society of family haves and family have-nots, with marriage and its rewards evermore confined to the fortunate classes.

to read the rest:

http://familyscholars.org/2012/07/15/nytimes-marriage-divide-driving-american-inequality/

[JoshRachelsMAMA]

I agree.

[punky3175]

Sigh.

[mikiemom]

Well I disagree. Sorry but this article is clearly biased and full of unsubstantiated opinion. It has been shown that children of well off single moms do quite well. The male influence in their lives do not need to be their biological fathers or even married to their mother.

 

[wenchmommy381]

I can't imagine having children (even one) without my husband by my side. He's more that just a guy who will carry the baby and show his son how to pee in the snow or whatever. Even if, God forbid, my husband died, I would be without part of myself, and that would make raising my children harder to raise to my liking, regardless of what salary I could pull.

Of course there are no absolutes when it comes to raising children. A child needs a slew of positive role models-- they can be parents, relative, teachers, coaches, clergy, and neighbors. (That's why it's so heartrending to see ANY of these people betray that trust with any sort of abuse.)

[Stephanie329]

Do these studies only look at children who's fathers have no custody rights or visitation? Are the dads out of the picture? I ask because my ex and I do shared parenting. It seems that in the world of these studies, shared parenting between divorced parents does not exist. I'm also remarried, so I'm not a single mom, in case anyone cares or just wants to know.

[pixie92]

one percent difference in the pregnancies is a huge jump thats funny. Sorry but it is not marrige or single parenthood that will make or break a child it is all in how they are raised and what abuse they are put through.a single parent can be poor as hell and still raise their child with the right self esteem, love and attention as a married couple and have their kid turn out the same as the married couple. People need to quit trying to blame how kids turn out on money and marriage status. There is a lot more to it then that.

[nikisazombie]

I completely agree. Also-- my grandfathers were more of a positive influence in my life than my stepfather or father ever was.

Quoting mikiemom:

Well I disagree. Sorry but this article is clearly biased and full of unsubstantiated opinion. It has been shown that children of well off single moms do quite well. The male influence in their lives do not need to be their biological fathers or even married to their mother.

 

[shannonnigans]

I love the picture they found for this. That woman's face is priceless. How could she be a good parent and raise this kid well? Look at her! She hates being a single mom, you can just tell. It just radiates "Its dollar drink night, ladies get in free" and I'm a single mom stuck at home with this!
God, it begs for a caption contest!