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Abortion helps family planning? Her daughter would never have been born if abortion wasn't a legal choice.

Posted by on Jul. 26, 2012 at 10:48 PM
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OK....This is the story of an acquaintance of mine. We were discussing how abortion restrictions would/could affect folks. She told me that her daughter would not have been born if abortion had not been a choice. Thought I would share her story here.

This is Not a scenario.


If it weren't for safe, legal abortion being a choice, my beautiful daughter would never have been born

Children were not in the cards for me, or so it would have seemed. I had long given up being a mother, when in my late 30's and after 15 years of marriage, my husband and I found out we were unexpectedly pregnant.  We were thrilled and welcomed this child with everything we could offer. After her birth, we began to ponder what her life would be like. We took out insurance policies; named guardians, made a will, set up a college fund...all the things you could do.

But we realized that there were certain things we would not be able to offer her. My husband and I were both only children. Our daughter had no aunts, no uncles, no cousins. Both sets of our parents were in their late ‘60s and would not see her into her into adulthood.  We were also older, already middle aged. She could possibly be alone in the world by the time she reached her mid 30s.

We thought about having a second child, mostly because we knew this was a possibility for us now and we were enjoying our surprise child so much. But also as a sibling to our existing child, someone who would hopefully be a companion and confidant to her. Someone who shared her history. Family she could have for life.

But by this point, I was into my 40's. I was still healthy and having a child at this age is no longer uncommon in our society. It felt right. But what if the child we planned to have was born with some chromosomal problem or defect that would need a lifetime of support and care? While the chance was small, we knew it was still a possibility. My husband and I would be able to take on this responsibility and expense, but it would eventually fall to our existing child, as the only family, upon our passing. Was that fair to her?  Should we force her to adjust her own life choices to care for a disabled sibling? We decided that would not be fair or right.

I was very healthy, had no problems with our first pregnancy, and knew the chances of this happening were still very small.  We decided to try because we knew we had options. We agreed we would have an amnio to make sure we were not going to bring a child into this world who would become a burden to our existing child, knowing that we have the legal right to end the pregnancy if that happened. That option was a crucial part of our decision to become pregnant again.

Fortunately, our pregnancy was once again easy and the amnio came back clear. Our second daughter was born a short time later.  My girls are now in their late teens and are very close. I couldn't be happier. When I look at my beautiful, smart and amazing girl I know that the world is a better place because she is in it. While I was lucky to never have been faced with that dreaded decision of abortion, my amazing daughter would not have been born if that choice were not an option.


Nice Widdle Puppy


by on Jul. 26, 2012 at 10:48 PM
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Replies (1-10):
sherry132
by Silver Member on Jul. 26, 2012 at 10:51 PM
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Well, it's definitely a different spin on abortion. I'm prolife, so I'll just leave it at that. 

TruthSeeker.
by Milami on Jul. 26, 2012 at 11:09 PM
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That was ummmm...I'm not even sure what to say about that. How about if you not want a child that "may" be defective how about not procreating at all. Sorry this story just makes me sick to my stomach.
NWP
by guerrilla girl on Jul. 26, 2012 at 11:16 PM

Two responses in and the moral judgements made by others not involved in this family come out.

Just sayin'...

Quoting TruthSeeker.:

That was ummmm...I'm not even sure what to say about that. How about if you not want a child that "may" be defective how about not procreating at all. Sorry this story just makes me sick to my stomach.


Nice Widdle Puppy


Tay06
by on Jul. 26, 2012 at 11:18 PM
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I was very confused at first, but this is an amazing story!  I appreciate the fact that you thought about your first child and how having a disabled sibling would affect them.  I am pro-choice, and I believe that if you find out that you are carrying a disabled child and can not handle it that you should have the right to abort it.  My sister is mentally disabled and she struggles through life.  The only reason she is as happy as she is is because my mother is both mentally and finacially able to take care of her.  We didn't know she was going to be MR until she was two.  She had trachae Milasia (sp?) and that caused lack of oxygen to the brain.  She had many other complications as well.  Homes are not usually good places, so to say that you will just hand the child over to a home when you can't handle them to me is just as "cruel" as aborting it.  Before 4 months it has been proven that fetus cannot feel a thing.  I would rather my mother have aborted me as a 4 month old fetus than spend my life suffering from abuse, neglect, or the mental abuse of feeling that I'm not good enough.  Like I said, I think this was a wonderful story and showed a very different side to how abortions are actually helpful to some people.

FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Jul. 26, 2012 at 11:22 PM
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I admit, I had to read it twice.

I do get what the author is saying.  It seems a tad backwards but even so, I do understand the point she was attempting to make.

Radarma
by "OneDar" on Jul. 26, 2012 at 11:24 PM
1 mom liked this

 I read it thrice.

Agree with it and I will leave it at that.

TruthSeeker.
by Milami on Jul. 26, 2012 at 11:24 PM
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Quoting NWP:

Hey you posted a story and that's my opinion and of course I judge. Everyone does. You form opinions and make judgements on a daily basis. I find it selfish, sad, and disgusting to intentionally get pregnant in your mid 40's with every intention of aborting if the child isn't perfect. It's called adoption for crying out loud. Try it people. Sheesh. Look I'm sure your friend is a nice person and all and I mean her no disrespect as a person, but the situation and choices made were beyond fucked up. Pardon my French. You have a perfectly healthy child and want some kind of guarantee via abortion if you have to that you will get another. I don't agree with that. Period.
NWP
by guerrilla girl on Jul. 26, 2012 at 11:28 PM

This couple had a 97% chance of having a healthy child...so just to make this clear, you would rather they would have DENIED LIFE to this girl who was born into a stable family headed by a married man and woman?

Quoting TruthSeeker.:

That was ummmm...I'm not even sure what to say about that. How about if you not want a child that "may" be defective how about not procreating at all. Sorry this story just makes me sick to my stomach.


Nice Widdle Puppy


TruthSeeker.
by Milami on Jul. 26, 2012 at 11:34 PM
[quote name="NWP" id="0"][
The kid is here so it's a moot point. The decision making process is what I take issue with. It could have just as easily been a different story that went the other way. My cousin had 2 abortions and went on to have 4 healthy and happy children that would not be here but for those abortions.
NWP
by guerrilla girl on Jul. 26, 2012 at 11:39 PM

It isn't a moot point. The girl being here and being alive IS the point. The girl would not have been born if abortion was not a choice..

Just out of curiousity...how did your cousin's previous abortions make her later four children possible?

Quoting TruthSeeker.:

[quote name="NWP" id="0"][
The kid is here so it's a moot point. The decision making process is what I take issue with. It could have just as easily been a different story that went the other way. My cousin had 2 abortions and went on to have 4 healthy and happy children that would not be here but for those abortions.


Nice Widdle Puppy


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