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Shocking Teachers' Views on Bullying

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Recently I had the opportunity to discuss the subject of bullying with several teachers. I was surprised by their reaction when I brought the subject up.  All of them had the same response, they said bullying has gone on for decades, was a normal part of life, and not something which they had the power to control/stop.

I am not saying that every teacher on the planet shares their views. 

The teachers with whom I was discussing this subject were from different states and towns, which gave me the impression that their views were shared by other teachers across state/town lines.

My questions are these:

Why are (some) teachers' views on bullying so drastically different than those of the general public?

Why do they not see the danger inherent in bullying and the severe damage it does to some children?

Why do they think they are powerless to intervene when they are right there, on the front lines of the bully/victim interaction?



by on Aug. 8, 2012 at 11:00 AM
Replies (501-510):
CinLu8570
by on Aug. 10, 2012 at 10:17 PM
My kids' elementary school has anti-bullying seminars for both parents and kids. If a child complains they are being bullied, there is a thorough investigation to determine if it is in fact bullying or just kid's stuff. The principal is VERY clear to both sets of parents, and each situation is handled accordingly. AND THIS IS ELEMENTARY SCHOOL!!!
karisma22
by Bronze Member on Aug. 10, 2012 at 10:44 PM

Many of them just don't want to deal with it.  Neither does the administration.  I teach at an independent study charter school.  Many students come to our school because of the bullying that goes on in our district.

bmommyx2
by on Aug. 11, 2012 at 3:36 AM

sounds like they don't care & don't want to be bothered.  Must not be good teachers either

momof2rm4
by on Aug. 11, 2012 at 8:38 AM

 

Quoting Adam_JakesMomma:

Parents are trusting teachers to teach them right from wrong because they are with them.. watching over them for that time of the day.

But your right... me personally I see no use for teachers at all. They don't care to teach our children its just a job to them. They don't care about the children. All they care about are their benefits and all the perks they can get at tax payers expense. They don't care that I don't have health insurance but they want me to pay for theirs even though they are already payed to do the job. They want taxes raised on my paycheck so they can be paid as if they were working till the day they die and on top of that they don't even care about my kids.

 

That's a bunch of hogwash.  I for one do NOT NEED to work, my husband makes enough money for me to sit my tiny hiny at home.  I am getting my Master's and teaching license because I have a passion for education and for children.  I would do it for FREE.

 

Thank you very much for your insolence.  Now get back to your kool aid.

Im not trying to be insolent?? is it??  and I didn't mean to offend anyone. But this is my opinion and I don't drink Kool Aid. I personally after having a bad experience and remembering some of my own teachers am not willing to take any risks with my kids. And since I am able to, I do homeschool now. I have met good teachers but they werent really that great either. It is my frame of mind that they really don't care about education.... and that it is just a job to them. As teachers....They don't care if your not getting the curriculum. Theyre working on a time table. It isnt the best education for a kid..... If a child doesnt understand something to just move on to the next thing... this can confuse them even more. I dont think its the best education and I have never once met a teacher who stands out in the caring department either. That's why Im saying what im saying. This post is in response to a teacher who said it wasnt her job to teach morals to the kids. But if the kids are at school with them and theyre doing something wrong and we are talking about children here, dont you think someone should tell him he shouldnt behave that way?? That was what I was trying to say.

Another thing that is very upsetting for me is that alot of teachers want to get paid more... they want all of their medical and dental paid for. That's not right. I live in Califonia and they want to raise the taxes on us so that we can pay to raise teachers salaries and benefits. We have the highest paid teachers in the U.S. I don't see why we should have to pay for their insurance or why we should be taxed even more so they can get paid more when theyre already being paid enough. The test scores for this state were so low and they want a raise?!? Are you kidding me!!

Believe it or not... Im very well informed and the day I meet for the first time a teacher that I would say, "man she loves her job" I will take it all back... well not really cause that still would leave 99.999%.

I used to volunteer alot at my kids school.... and all I heard from the teachers was complaining!! Complaining that the parents didn't do this or didn't do that. I used to take the minutes at meetings okay......I was there in the front lines. I know what they say. I know alot of them don't even like their job much less love it. So what are they doing watching over these kids who quite frankly deserve so much more than that. Maybe it was just one school... But what about when I was a kid?? I didn't have any great teachers.... I did have some bad ones though. Teachers that yelled, that kept the whole class afterschool for something that a few people did. Teachers you were afraid to ask questions to cause they would yell. My Senior year, my economics teacher, people were literally afraid to talk to him. If they didn't understand something they were left with nothing more than to fail. I don't want that kind of education for my kids and the good teachers arent worth the bad ones. This is how I feel sorry if it offends you and if you are the makings of a good teacher. That is great... even though your talking about insolence and kool aid... who knows maybe you are going to be a good teacher. You know what I hope so... I really do.

coffeeMom of 2 RM4

momof2rm4
by on Aug. 11, 2012 at 9:30 AM

 I appreciate your honesty. I remember being in school and I happen to know that teachers see it. What does one say about all these teachers who are saying that kids arent foolish enough to do it in front of the teachers. I have seen teachers who laugh along.

When I was in the first grade the boy that sat next to me.... used to bully me and he used to rip my work after I was done with it. I told my teacher and she put me in the corner. One day I was fed up and they were trying to take me to school and I just kept telling my dad that I didn't want to go. He asked me why and I told him. he went to talk to the teacher and he asked her if she was stupid or something....lol.

Quoting musicteacher40:

I am a teacher of Music...

Do not bash me...I am giving my point of view!

 

I rarely see my students actually bully.  I know it happens...I'm not stupid or ignorant about that issue.  However..it is hard to discipline students when you don't actually see something happen.  I hear that many of my students are bullied or bully via e-mail, Social Media, texting, tweeting...you name it...What they do outside of my classroom I don't  have a say in.

When I do catch the bullying, the students that I've sent to the office for bullying very rarely get in trouble and end up in my room within minutes after sending them...and still nothing changes, if anything they get worse (and sneakier) ...As a teacher, when you look to your bosses to help and you don't get it, it's hard to do much of anything, so therefore it will continue to happen.  I know that the district in which I work is not the only district in which this happens.  In support of the Principals, I also know from being friends with administrators, that when they go to try to discipline the students, the parents get into the middle of the fray and threaten to sue the districts for singling out their student (even though they are the ones that are bullying) or making bodily threats, etc..that it's not worth dealing with... Unfortunately it is a NO WIN situation for everyone!...

One thing I want to also address that is overlooked most of the time is (and this topic is one of the times), how many times I as an educator or other educators get bullied by students and there's not one thing that can be done, cause of course everyone takes the side of the kid(s).  I've been hit, kick, spit at, cursed at, had my tires slit, been threatened with bodily harm, written about on the various technology means and yet nothing ever happens to those kids and they remain in our classrooms only getting worse!   (parents general make statements like it was our fault that the kids was doing all those things, or if we were nicer and didn't make our students work as well as other comments or that their little angel doesn't do things like that)...if that's not bullying a teacher then I don't know what is (I know for a fact that I am not the only teacher that has to deal with this and my district is not the only district that has to deal!)...Think back to the bus aid that got bullied this past spring; this is common place and we are powerless to do anything (in the bus aides case yes things got done...but frequently we have to just put up and shut up)...the courts and parents have taken away our ability to discipline these children.  If we want to continue to have teaching jobs, this is the way it is...

Harsh words yes, but after we try and try, and nothing happens with support from home, why bother anymore...(once again, don't bash me for this...just stating what happens in the the schools that parents don't see)

The bullying will not stop until those students parents get involved and seriously get involved.  Too many of these students have parents that never show up for anything their students are involved in or their parents are bulliers themselves...  It's not just always about the teacher fixing everything...we can start the process but the parents have to follow through with it!

 

 

coffeeMom of 2 RM4

jess0315
by New Member on Aug. 11, 2012 at 10:25 AM
Because they are lazy and don't want to be bothered.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Tonic90302
by on Aug. 11, 2012 at 11:47 AM
2 moms liked this

Well, after reading your views, I hate to admit it, but I am a teacher and have been for the past 22 years.  We do not all think bullying is okay or not our problem, anymore than every mother sits around all day eating chocolate, watching soaps. 

There is definitely a problem with defining the word  "bully".  In my district, any "bullying" incident is documented and investigated by a team at each school.  We take it very seriously, BUT the word means many things to many people.  Bullying is difficult to control because most times it occurs on the bus or on the playground (where there is often a revolving group of monitors). 

In my fifth grade class, we discuss bullying and its effects on our society.  We also discuss what to do if you see bullying occur.  As a mother, grandmother and a teacher, my first role is to keep all children safe.  But after reading some of your views on this, I must tell you, I am feeling a bit bullied.

Makeaday
by on Aug. 11, 2012 at 12:29 PM

Remember how crafty, and capable middle school and high school students can be.  As a teacher, it is possible the teachers don't see actual bully actions happening or hear it.  My students pulled off many "tricks" with no one aware.  I did protect those being bullied.  Usually, they were removed from the situation but that just ostracized them. Bullying should be taken seriously by teachers and administrators as we have seen the consequences.  However, common sense must be a part of every decision.  Name calling is not such a "bad" kind of bullying to have the same discapline action as physical abuse.  Kindergarteners shouldn't be expelled from school for a kiss.  However, constant physical contact should be curtailed, discussed with parents and finally the student expelled as a failure to socialize in society correctly.  I have had many situations when common sense was not a part of the decisions made by teachers and administators.  Not only were the students but also the teachers endangered by either indecision or unreasonable restrictions on the teachers.  I was especaily uncomfortable by some of the  "at risk" students who were keep in the high schools for various reasons.  Several of the worst offenders that I taught are in prison fro life for horrible acts that went far beyond bullying in the school.   I wonder if it started with bullying their fellow students.

futureshock
by Ruby Member on Aug. 11, 2012 at 12:36 PM


Quoting MrsKish:

I was actual bullied by a teacher in high school... And droped out a few months later bc of it.

Quoting futureshock:

Recently I had the opportunity to discuss the subject of bullying with several teachers. I was surprised by their reaction when I brought the subject up.  All of them had the same response, they said bullying has gone on for decades, was a normal part of life, and not something which they had the power to control/stop.

I am not saying that every teacher on the planet shares their views. 

The teachers with whom I was discussing this subject were from different states and towns, which gave me the impression that their views were shared by other teachers across state/town lines.

My questions are these:

Why are (some) teachers' views on bullying so drastically different than those of the general public?

Why do they not see the danger inherent in bullying and the severe damage it does to some children?

Why do they think they are powerless to intervene when they are right there, on the front lines of the bully/victim interaction?



That is outrageous, she should have been fired.  Did your parents confront her?  What form did her bullying take?


futureshock
by Ruby Member on Aug. 11, 2012 at 12:38 PM


Quoting noelssong:

99.1Percent of bullying is done IN the schools,OUTSIDE ON SCHOOL GROUNDS and IN THE SCHOOL BUSSES. WHY? Becuause the kids know they can t get away with it.How humiliating it must be for a child to go through  this with the teachers standing right there and some just smirk or turn away  SHAME  on these teachers. Next time they may be your children..Some children cant talk to thier parents etc  SHAME  on the princiable for allowing it to go on they are not blind A SCHOOL HELPS MOLD A CHILD AND MAKE THEM INTO SOMEONE NOT SOMETHING..

I AGREE, it is disgusting.  I don't buy the argument that they "don't see it."  After the victim has complained once, KEEP AN EYE OUT for the bullying!

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