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Shocking Teachers' Views on Bullying

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Recently I had the opportunity to discuss the subject of bullying with several teachers. I was surprised by their reaction when I brought the subject up.  All of them had the same response, they said bullying has gone on for decades, was a normal part of life, and not something which they had the power to control/stop.

I am not saying that every teacher on the planet shares their views. 

The teachers with whom I was discussing this subject were from different states and towns, which gave me the impression that their views were shared by other teachers across state/town lines.

My questions are these:

Why are (some) teachers' views on bullying so drastically different than those of the general public?

Why do they not see the danger inherent in bullying and the severe damage it does to some children?

Why do they think they are powerless to intervene when they are right there, on the front lines of the bully/victim interaction?



by on Aug. 8, 2012 at 11:00 AM
Replies (511-520):
futureshock
by Ruby Member on Aug. 11, 2012 at 12:40 PM


Quoting kandysm5:

I have a very introverted 12 year old that isn't into boys yet, and I was told by her teacher that it was her fault that she was bullied. Apparently because she is a tomboy, doesn't wear makeup, and doesn't sit around giggling about boys she deserves to get picked on by the other girls in class. Then they said they wouldn't do anything about it. That she needed to change. I think they need some sort of training class for teachers so they know how to handle things like that the right way.

So what did you do about it?  How exactly did they want your daughter to change?

futureshock
by Ruby Member on Aug. 11, 2012 at 12:44 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting DDDaysh:

 How, precisely, do we stop bullying???  Maybe they view it as such because it's the truth.  it's not like they are condoning bullying, but they don't really have the power to prevent it.  It is something that has been a part of human history for..  forever.  When we shut down one channel, something else takes its place. 

That doesn't mean you tolerate it, but it does mean they can't always prevent it.  They aren't on the "front lines" of the interaction most of the time.  These things happen behnind their backs. 

You take the bully to the Principal's office and tell them to KNOCK IT OFF.  If they continue to bully you call their parents.  If the parents won't do anything you suspend the kid.  If MY KID were continually being tormented and nothing was working to stop it I would eventually sue the parents of the bully.


mommyT3612
by on Aug. 11, 2012 at 12:47 PM

them teachers are wrong they can stop the bullying  they  just don t want to be bothered and they are be lazt how would they like it if there child got bullied they would not.

SugarMamaO76
by on Aug. 11, 2012 at 1:52 PM

 There are many ways to deal w a bully and being bullied.... Thats why I think this kind of thing SHOULD be addressed by teachers and school staff. They after all have our children in THEIR care for a majority of each week day. I feel it is their responsibility to keep the kids safe, from any harm, including bullies. And teachers are not always there when the shit happens, they might not see or even know of this happening and again how are you supposed to do something about something you aren't aware of? By heading it off at the pass... or at least trying to. But I still feel like it starts at home. I have let my kids know that being a bully ISN'T Happening. And their school ( private school) is very ANTIBULLYING. I feel for the kids who go to school where they just don't care. And I have been to a few schools where the teachers are worse bullies than the students. Its sad but true. Some teachers are just as big a bully if not bigger than some of their worst students.

Quoting futureshock:


Quoting mikiemom:

I understand where these teachers are coming from. Children need to learn to deal with bullying and not run away from it.

How can they deal with it?

 

mon01
by on Aug. 11, 2012 at 3:00 PM

I totally agree with what PortiaRose said!!!!  Also, I think that bullying startsat home with the parents.  I think that the parents of the bully either bully themor is bullied by their child and they don't know how to stop it.  I am now 35 and as a child my older brother was bullied and I alwaysput a stop to it.  Whenever my son and I are out and I see some little shit taking something from him or another child I always speak up and tell the kid that he/her is being really mean and if/when the parent walks up to me and asks me what happened then I always tell them.  Then I give them my 2 cents if they want it or not

mema731
by New Member on Aug. 11, 2012 at 7:31 PM

U sound like me!  I'm an amputee that was bullied more in elementary school, but once I fought the boy who called me Hop A Long Cassidy  he left me alone! In fact no one bothered me again. I feel ur pain but I turned out to be a very social & loving person. It is hard to teach today's kids respect unless it begins at home. I, too, was called names at home but I vowed upon graduation that I'd leave my small town & rarely be seen there & that's what I've done all these 40 years. I only visit home every few years & I've never been to one of my class reunions just because I don't want to have to go thru any stress caused by a few adult idiots. A lot of my classmates are on facebook & I communicate with the ones who didn't grieve me so I'm good. Thanx for ur post cause it made me feel a little better about my own struggles as a kid. Charity really does begin at home & the parents of today have to live by example to help these kids see the error of bullying. It's not funny or cute

Sexymom22
by Member on Aug. 11, 2012 at 8:26 PM

I'm not a teacher but I can come in from the side of a person that used to be bullied, back then they called it teasing but it was still the same, I was left out of things, picked on because of what I wore, and other things to. And to be perfectly honest, everytime the teachers stepped in to try and help, it just made things worse. In fact nothing stopped until I stopped it. I know from experience that when adults try to step in it usually doesn't help anything. I remember it taking me years to finally get the courage to stand up for myself, and I know it is hard for a lot of kids, but honestly that is the only way it will stop is when the person themselves being bullied stops it. Yea others can intervene, tell, try their best to help. They all did for me, but it wasn't until I finally stood up that it stopped.

TempeRose
by New Member on Aug. 11, 2012 at 8:27 PM

I won't matter teachers or students I'll be leave my baby if she says she is being bullied!

momof3inCT
by on Aug. 12, 2012 at 1:45 AM

I AGREE I have encountered as an adult other adults who are bullies, but as an adult I have the ability to cut that person out of my life and never see them again...................I would like advice for what to tell my children  on how to deal with these kinds of kids?????

Quoting OHgirlinCA:

 

Quoting futureshock:


Quoting OHgirlinCA:

 I'm not a teacher, but had a child that was bullied. 

In my opinion, the definition of bullying has changed, and some children are labeled bullies simply because they choose not to play with a classmate or think that someone is weird, or calls someone a name once. 

In the Middle School here, if someone is labeled a bully, they have to attend counseling sessions.  The victim does as well.  Now the victim feels they're being punished and pointed out because the school is making it a point to pull them out of class to attend counseling. 

Sure, teachers absolutely need to break up anything where someone is being physically attacked and bullied in that regard.  I think the bigger thing teachers can do to make an impact is to stress respect for others within their classrooms, and also stress self esteem.  It should be a no brainer. 

Until parents keep their children in line, bullying will continue.  Teachers cannot tell a parent how to parent their child.  What parents can do for their children is build their self esteem and give them the tools necessary to deal with bullies.  Afterall, they will be dealing with bullies their entire life.  It's the reaction that will make a bully stop or persist.

How so?

Afterall, they will be dealing with bullies their entire life

 Adults bully each other all the time.  At some point in everyone's life they'll come across a bully, whether it is a boss, coworker, neighbor, or random stranger at an event, store, or even on the road.


I am a 38 yr old married mom of 4, who HATES Drama, LOVES to raise her own kids, breastfed all 4, in FULL belief of discipline and SPANKING, disposable diapers, DOES vaccinate ALL my kids, and believes kids need rules and to have LOTS of fun!!!

momof3inCT
by on Aug. 12, 2012 at 2:03 AM

2 yrs in a row my son has been bullied always when NO ONE sees it but yet he gets introuble for being silly and everyone sees that..............I find it interesting! In 3rd grade there was a boy who just picked on my son, hitting a basketball out of his hands, grabbing things from him, pushing him, name calling, etc...I tried talking to my son and telling him how to react so he would not get introuble, my son got so frustrated he fought back ..........and who got in trouble..........MY SON! then last year a GIRL was being nasty to him telling on him for anything and everything, making others not play with him, calling him names telling him to buzz off etc, then she began HITTING him with her water bottle and backpack and still nothing was done b/c no one would see it?? SO REDICULOUS! so this year both of those kids were in his class I had his class switched I dont knwo if that is just avoidance but bullying has gotten OUT of control and happening much earlier then when I was a kid in the 70's-80's but kids today are doign things earlier and parenting today is all about non discipline so I suppose that has something to do with it!

Quoting futureshock:


Quoting noelssong:

99.1Percent of bullying is done IN the schools,OUTSIDE ON SCHOOL GROUNDS and IN THE SCHOOL BUSSES. WHY? Becuause the kids know they can t get away with it.How humiliating it must be for a child to go through  this with the teachers standing right there and some just smirk or turn away  SHAME  on these teachers. Next time they may be your children..Some children cant talk to thier parents etc  SHAME  on the princiable for allowing it to go on they are not blind A SCHOOL HELPS MOLD A CHILD AND MAKE THEM INTO SOMEONE NOT SOMETHING..

I AGREE, it is disgusting.  I don't buy the argument that they "don't see it."  After the victim has complained once, KEEP AN EYE OUT for the bullying!


I am a 38 yr old married mom of 4, who HATES Drama, LOVES to raise her own kids, breastfed all 4, in FULL belief of discipline and SPANKING, disposable diapers, DOES vaccinate ALL my kids, and believes kids need rules and to have LOTS of fun!!!

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