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Shocking Teachers' Views on Bullying

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Recently I had the opportunity to discuss the subject of bullying with several teachers. I was surprised by their reaction when I brought the subject up.  All of them had the same response, they said bullying has gone on for decades, was a normal part of life, and not something which they had the power to control/stop.

I am not saying that every teacher on the planet shares their views. 

The teachers with whom I was discussing this subject were from different states and towns, which gave me the impression that their views were shared by other teachers across state/town lines.

My questions are these:

Why are (some) teachers' views on bullying so drastically different than those of the general public?

Why do they not see the danger inherent in bullying and the severe damage it does to some children?

Why do they think they are powerless to intervene when they are right there, on the front lines of the bully/victim interaction?



by on Aug. 8, 2012 at 11:00 AM
Replies (541-550):
futureshock
by Ruby Member on Aug. 19, 2012 at 11:48 AM


Quoting nerdlihc3:

Face to face, sit down with local teachers, and asked them. You've done that? 

Quoting futureshock:


Quoting nerdlihc3:

Have you ever asked them? 


Why do they think they are powerless to intervene when they are right there, on the front lines of the bully/victim interaction?


I thought that was what I was doing?


So call them up and ask them if I can interview them?  Something like that?

futureshock
by Ruby Member on Aug. 19, 2012 at 11:50 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting etmermaid:

Bullying to some extent is a part of life, and something that every child deals with in one form or another.  I feel the curent focus on bullying is aimed in the wrong direction.  Rather than trying to stop it, the focus should be on helping the ones being bullied stand up for themselves.  thus an inescapable aspect of social  human nature can be used as a tool to help children grow up into strong, confident and independant young adults.  Rather than insecure people who think the world owes them what they should be able to stand up and build for themselves.

This makes it sound like the victims are the ones with the problem, not the bullies.

CynnyWolk
by Member on Aug. 19, 2012 at 11:59 AM
I would tell my kids to punch those little pricks that are fucking with him.. obviously the schools don't give to squats of piss about bullying.. they say they raise awareness and blah blah , but how many suicides do u here about because of the result of bullying. So I teach my boys to fight back they won't be in trouble with me
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PinkButterfly66
by Gold Member on Aug. 19, 2012 at 12:05 PM
1 mom liked this

My daughter was bullied in 4th grade.  I complained to the guidance counsellor.  It still continued.  I talked to her 4th grade teachers and asked them to keep the bully away from my daughter.  Her homeroom teacher actually encourged the bully to approach my daughter during recess.  The bully said nasty things to her.  It didn't stop until I documented an entire day's worth of bullying in each class and presented it to the principal.  It finally stopped.  Until one more incident and the bully was taken from my daughter's class.  Then towards the end of the year, the bully was brought back into my daughter's classroom and she was being bullied again.  I requested a meeting with the parents which didn't take place until after school was out for the summer and the parents were in complete denial and I really got no where.  The principal advised mediation with the two girls and a trained mediator.  On the advice of the Director (and former Miss Virginia) of Bully Police I declined the meeting (after all, would you expect a rape victim to go thru mediation with her rapist?).  In 5th grade, her homeroom teacher (who was bullied as a child) made sure that the bully was kept away from her. At the parent teacher meeting the principal did tell the bully's parents that if there was one more incident, she would be suspended.  I worried all thru summer that the bully would try to concoct some sort of situation that would get my daughter in trouble like she did in the lunch line claiming my daughter hit her.  But thankfully, there were no more incidents in 5th grade other than the bully trying to sit at my daughter's lunch table towards the end of the year -- last few weeks.  I told her to tell her teacher and the teacher took care of it (he marched right into the bully's homeroom and yelled that she is not to leave her lunch table again -- the kids are supposed to stay in their seat until lunch is over -- they can go thru the lunch line and throw trash away, but they must return to their table).  And there were no more incidents for the rest of the year.

There needs to be a formal bully awareness program that all teachers must attend and assemblys for all students that encourage the bystanders to tell adults or to stand up with the victim (if it is just harassment).  A bully will not continue if they know they will get into trouble.  If there are no bystanders that tacitly allow the bullying, there will be no bullying.  If the students feel empowered to stand up for each other, there will be no bullying.

kateluke
by on Aug. 20, 2012 at 1:21 PM

They really are not allowed to intervene and many are just as upset as you


kandysm5
by New Member on Aug. 26, 2012 at 3:21 PM

I'm sorry I'm just seeing this. I'm still trying to get used to this. I told her there was nothing wrong with being different, and try to ignore them. Her teacher said she needed to be less introverted, and more like the other girls. She needed to be more into music, makeup and boys. We have also changed schools so I'm hoping that will help a little because her friends are going to the school she's going to now.

Quoting futureshock:


Quoting kandysm5:

I have a very introverted 12 year old that isn't into boys yet, and I was told by her teacher that it was her fault that she was bullied. Apparently because she is a tomboy, doesn't wear makeup, and doesn't sit around giggling about boys she deserves to get picked on by the other girls in class. Then they said they wouldn't do anything about it. That she needed to change. I think they need some sort of training class for teachers so they know how to handle things like that the right way.

So what did you do about it?  How exactly did they want your daughter to change?


futureshock
by Ruby Member on Aug. 26, 2012 at 6:49 PM


Quoting kandysm5:

I'm sorry I'm just seeing this. I'm still trying to get used to this. I told her there was nothing wrong with being different, and try to ignore them. Her teacher said she needed to be less introverted, and more like the other girls. She needed to be more into music, makeup and boys. We have also changed schools so I'm hoping that will help a little because her friends are going to the school she's going to now.

Quoting futureshock:


Quoting kandysm5:

I have a very introverted 12 year old that isn't into boys yet, and I was told by her teacher that it was her fault that she was bullied. Apparently because she is a tomboy, doesn't wear makeup, and doesn't sit around giggling about boys she deserves to get picked on by the other girls in class. Then they said they wouldn't do anything about it. That she needed to change. I think they need some sort of training class for teachers so they know how to handle things like that the right way.

So what did you do about it?  How exactly did they want your daughter to change?


That's ok, I cannot follow all of the times I am quoted either.

I hope it all goes smoothly for your daughter this year. :)

skyfire27
by Member on Aug. 28, 2012 at 12:19 PM

They don't want to get involved...it's as simple as that. They are instructed by the school system (at least this is the way ours works) to separate the kids and report the incident to the principal. They have then done their duty and can wash their hands of everything. Then, if you are "lucky" enough to have a principal like my daughter had they will tell your child that and I quote,"it is like when you get bad service at Pizza Hut, you don't complain to the manager because maybe the server is just having a bad day. You just let it go and go on about your day!" Really, because my daughter was bullied fromteh time she was in the 3rd grade until this past year. When she was in the 5th grade she came home and told me she might as well kill herself because they teachers and the bus driver were not going to do anything about it and the girls were not going to stop. I have been throught this and have gone the whole way to the Governor of our state regarding this issue. He stepped up and forwarded the email I sent him to the State board of Education, who in turn contacted the principal directly. I thought we were actually getting somewhere with this issue...yeah right. He called us into a meeting and made my daughter the scape goat for everything. I realized at that point it was useless to try and get anywhere with him. When she went to middle school the principal was more understanding but the girls that were bullying her lived on either side of is. The problem is the middle school had a zero tolerance policy...you would think that was a good thing right? In school it was....when she got home it was a different story. The bullying went from being just verbal and emotional to physical. Both of my children had to stay inside because if they couldn't get to my daughter directly they would get to her through her little brother. It got so bad we had to move because they were getting beat up everyday. I realize I have rambled on but here is my point. If the school/teacher/principal had done something to stop it in the first place...it wouldn't have gotten to that point. Mind you I am not saying the parents didn't have a role in it not stopping but the school palyed a big part in it too.

hotmama634
by New Member on Nov. 25, 2012 at 9:36 PM

Wow Brandon ! it's amazing!

futureshock
by Ruby Member on Nov. 25, 2012 at 10:38 PM


Quoting hotmama634:

Wow Brandon ! it's amazing!

?

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