Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Current Events & Hot Topics Current Events & Hot Topics

"My two kids at home almost lost their mother because someone decided that my life was worth less than that of a fetus that was going to die anyway."

Posted by on Sep. 3, 2012 at 12:11 AM
  • 146 Replies
4 moms liked this

Read this horror story of a failed pregnancy.

I was taking an afternoon nap when the hemorrhaging started while my toddler napped in his room when I woke up to find blood gushing upward from my body. Though I didn’t know it at the time, I was experiencing a placental abruption, a complication my doctor had told me was a possibility. My husband was at work, so I had to do my best to take care of me and my toddler on my own. I managed to get to the phone and make arrangements for both of my children before going to a Chicago hospital.

Everyone knew the pregnancy wasn’t viable, that it couldn’t be viable given the amount of blood I was losing, but it still took hours for anyone at the hospital to do anything. The doctor on call didn’t do abortions. At all. Ever. In fact, no one on call that night did. Meanwhile, an ignorant batch of medical students had gathered to study me — one actually showed me the ultrasound of our dying child while asking me if it was a planned pregnancy. Several wanted to examine me while I lay there bleeding and in pain. No one gave me anything for the pain or even respected my request to close the door even though I was on the labor and delivery floor listening to other women have healthy babies as the baby I had been trying to save died in my womb.

Fortunately, a nurse called in a competent doctor to abort the fetus and stop the bleeding — or this woman would have been dead.

My two kids at home almost lost their mother because someone decided that my life was worth less than that of a fetus that was going to die anyway. My husband had told them exactly what my regular doctor said, and the ER doctor had already warned us what would have to happen. Yet none of this mattered when confronted by the idea that no one needs an abortion. You shouldn’t need to know the details of why a woman aborts to trust her to make the best decision for herself. I don’t regret my abortion, but I would also never use my situation to suggest that the only time another woman should have the procedure is when her life is at stake. After my family found out I’d had an abortion, I got a phone call from a cousin who felt the need to tell me I was wrong to have interfered with God’s plan. And in that moment I understood exactly what kind of people judge a woman’s reproductive choices.

The story also highlights the subversive strategy the right wing has followed: there is now a serious dearth of doctors trained to do abortions, so when a necessary abortion case shows up in an emergency, you’ve got a muddle of the self-righteous and the ignorant, all incompetent to do anything, milling about with their thumbs up their asses. She might as well have stumbled bleeding into a church and asked for help…which is exactly what the Coathanger Coalition wants them to do.

Imagine if someone showed up in an emergency room having a heart attack, and for religious reasons, no one had any training in using a defibrillator, and the only one available was in an underfunded clinic across town. That’s the direction we’re going, only we’re suppressing information and skills that would help just women’s lives. Which makes it OK, I guess. No men will die of a placental abruption, so it’s a low priority.

http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2011/05/28/abortion-needs-to-be-taught-in/

by on Sep. 3, 2012 at 12:11 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
futureshock
by Ruby Member on Sep. 3, 2012 at 12:11 AM

bump

BIMOM21
by Member on Sep. 3, 2012 at 12:12 AM
Bump
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
LauraKW
by "Dude!" on Sep. 3, 2012 at 12:14 AM
3 moms liked this
VERY well said.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
jadedcynic
by NerdyJen on Sep. 3, 2012 at 12:15 AM

My friend is an OB and he had to go to Europe to study what to do in an emergency. He wasn't happy with the very little information they were giving him in medical school here in the US and he went to an Ivy League school.

teri4lance
by Silver Member on Sep. 3, 2012 at 12:16 AM
30 moms liked this
One more reason why, even if you personally object to abortion, the choice has to remain with the mother and no one else.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
opal10161973
by on Sep. 3, 2012 at 12:19 AM

That's so sad. 

Quoting jadedcynic:

My friend is an OB and he had to go to Europe to study what to do in an emergency. He wasn't happy with the very little information they were giving him in medical school here in the US and he went to an Ivy League school.


LadyBugMom09
by Silver Member on Sep. 3, 2012 at 12:33 AM
3 moms liked this
From what I understand of placenta previa the only way you can remove the baby is through csection because the placenta is covering the cervix.

Also, there are ways to stop the bleeding and prevent early labor. Not that it was possible in this case.

But regardless, her OB should have been called in that case, not ER docs. ER doctors are not taught everything, they're not specialists. OBs are specialists.

Either way, if it comes down to the life of the baby or the life of the mother, I think the life of the mother takes presidence. It's a horrible situation. But no, if the procedure goes against a doctors religion, they should not be forced to perform it. If the hospital chooses to employ them, then they should have the responsibility to make sure someone who will do it is present at all times.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
grandmab125
by Gold Member on Sep. 3, 2012 at 1:06 AM
5 moms liked this

Ladybug is right.  Right after she called 911, she should have called her OB.

Another story without sufficient info by PZ Myers.  It doesn't make a lot of sense.   This woman is hell bent on blaming the right for everything that goes wrong in a woman's pregnancy.

Was this perhaps a Catholic hospital?  That would explain why they didn't have any drs who could perform abortions, now might it not?  You will notice she doesn't say at which hospital this happened.  Or perhaps it was at Cook County Hospital, which is the worse one in Chicago.

And to insinuate that the right has penetrated the medical schools so that they don't teach drs. how to do abortions, is delusional and absurd. 

Jade89
by Member on Sep. 3, 2012 at 1:10 AM
Bump
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Sekirei
by Nari Trickster on Sep. 3, 2012 at 1:12 AM
6 moms liked this

seems that we have OBs in the house...how cool


Remember, if it doesn't affect a man, then it isn't required... (o.O)

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)