Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Current Events & Hot Topics Current Events & Hot Topics

Mother's choice or Grandparents rights? What should come first?

Posted by   + Show Post

 

Poll

Question: Should the grandparents be granted the right to adopt their grandson?

Options:

Yes, the mom doesn't want him and they do.

No, Even though she's giving him up for adoption, she still has say over where he goes.


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 1628

View Results

There's a woman who's been estranged from her parents for about 5 years. They never really got along, then there was a big fight and the daughter decided to cut them off. 5 years later she becomes pregnant and decides to give the baby up for adoption. Her parents get wind of it and ask to adopt the baby themselves. The daughter adamantly refuses so her parents are forced to take her to court to fight her for the right to adopt their grandson.

What do you think the judge should decide?

by on Sep. 21, 2012 at 12:47 PM
Replies (451-460):
navahale
by on Sep. 23, 2012 at 10:19 PM

If the child were being taken from her (as in, give the baby up or adoption or that baby is going into the system) then the grandparent's rights should definitaly be considered. However, if she is choosing to give up her baby then, as the PARENT, I believe she has the right to decide who will be raising that baby. If her parents want to be involved in that baby's life then they may be able to work something out with the adoptive parents, which would be in the best interest of everybody.

phoenixmom
by on Sep. 23, 2012 at 10:22 PM
Mom should be able to say where the child goes. There are obviously deep wounds for the daughter and her parents trying to control her decisions still, will not lead to family reunion. This could keep being used against her for all of her days. Parents should respect the daughters wishes. Perhaps a resort might be family therapy, if successful then if daughter allows it.
dfcinnamon
by on Sep. 23, 2012 at 10:22 PM

What were the problems that she had with her parents?  Why is she so against them adopting their grandson?  

LolitaP
by on Sep. 23, 2012 at 10:25 PM

Allow the grandparents to adopt.  No one knows the future.  The child will get to know their grandparents.  The future is full of surprises as it is.  Everybody is blessed.

sstripedmonkey
by Member on Sep. 23, 2012 at 10:27 PM
IMO, it's her right as a woman to decide, if the grandparents actually win I think it would set a horrible prescident.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
momtomine
by on Sep. 23, 2012 at 10:28 PM
2 moms liked this

As a birthmother myself who chose her son's parents, I say it is completely up to the mother of the baby.  She gets to decide whether she will parent her baby or not.  And if not, she gets to pick the adoptive parents. 

Now, if the baby is taken away from her, for reasons only a judge can decide.  Then the grandparents should have the ability to apply for gardianship...but they must pass inspection before they are granted custody.  Even then, the mother has a right to work towards parenting her child.

cats911
by Member on Sep. 23, 2012 at 10:30 PM
2 moms liked this

She doesn't want the child and she doesn't want her parents to have the child, sounds like she is still rebelling against her parents, and she has found a way to hurt them.  She is being selfish and immature.

Quoting Lizardannie1966:

*sigh

So because they're "straight-laced," and please define that, she'd rather the child go to strangers?

I'm wondering if the Mother's concern might be that at some point in time, she may reconcile with her parents and she would then see this child she had given up for adoption? Somehow, I can understand that better.

Quoting paganbaby:

She was a wild child and her parents were very straight laced. They didn't like a lot of her choices, which led to a lot of fights then eventually she just stopped talking to them.

Quoting Lizardannie1966:

Why has she been estranged from them for so long?

I would think that this might be important in determining if they can even attempt to qualify for adopting the child.




jen1130
by on Sep. 23, 2012 at 10:31 PM
I agree!!! It has now been 11 years : )
I hope this family can fix their problems before this baby is born so they are all able to accept what ever happens: )


Quoting Lizardannie1966:

Seems that things turned out in your favor and especially for your daughter. A happy ending is always the preferred answer to a problem. :)

Quoting jen1130:

I do understand what you were pointing out and your question.... I was only saying that for what ever reason unless mom had done bad things and list the right to chose that really ( for the mom's rights) was all that mattered. That's all : )

The judge should not be even looking at this unless CPS is involved....then family is the first option.



The attorney was just doing her job. They always tried to get the case to trial. To show that they did the best they could for their client. She was a good attorney who worked hard. The birth mom had no chance of regaining custody but it would have been another 6 months of foster care for our daughter.





Quoting Lizardannie1966:

Again, my questions and comments were for THIS discussion. A curiosity factor on my end that I opined on here in this thread.

Can I ask why the attorney wanted to fight you?


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Venae
by on Sep. 23, 2012 at 10:31 PM

If she can decide to kill it, then she should be able to decide who gets to adopt it.  It's her CHOICE.

...forced to take her to court to fight her for the right to adopt their grandson.

It's not their RIGHT to adopt their grandson - it's not their RIGHT to adopt anyone!

If the grandparents don't knock it off, she may decide to abort it just to save herself the aggravation of this craziness - and they'd have NO SAY in that.

ilovesummer2010
by on Sep. 23, 2012 at 10:31 PM
She should be able to decide who gets to adopt the baby! Im sure if she found a nice loving couple the court would grant the couple to adopt before the grandparents i mean if you think about it how old are they? Would they be able to handle a newborns demaning needs being at such a much older age? If i was giving up my own baby id rather the baby go to a couple then to my parents who i hate! I honestly think its a way for the parents to get back at her i mean why else would they be doing this to her! The parents need to keep their nose out of her business!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN