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5 year old still showers with her dad... Ok or taboo?

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My bf's dd just told us tonight that her cousin who is 5 still showers with her dad sometimes.

When do you think you cut off ur dd from showering with her dad? Or when is there a cutoff time for your ds showering with you?
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by on Sep. 23, 2012 at 12:24 AM
Replies (41-50):
Mommy_of_Riley
by Jes on Sep. 23, 2012 at 9:54 AM
4 moms liked this
No older than 2 months? LOL!

Wow... There are a lot of prudes in here. There is nothing sexual about a shower shared by a mother and child OR father and child...


Quoting collegemomma844:

 That is totally gross and wrong!!! I say never let a child shower with hubby. I do think a mother can take a bath with infant. Two month old no older than that. I have heard it's easier. 

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mikiemom
by Ruby Member on Sep. 23, 2012 at 9:54 AM
6 moms liked this

In europe children go to the sauna / pools with their parents where everyone walks around Naked. My Son used to go with our landlord's wife, no bio-relation.

America is way to puritanical - I agree with the other posters. that nudity does not equal pedophilia

candlegal
by Judy on Sep. 23, 2012 at 9:57 AM

5 is too old

Mommy_of_Riley
by Jes on Sep. 23, 2012 at 9:57 AM
1 mom liked this
I wanna vacation at a Nudist resort... Sounds freeing...

Quoting mikiemom:

In europe children go to the sauna / pools with their parents where everyone walks around Naked. My Son used to go with our landlord's wife, no bio-relation.


America is way to puritanical - I agree with the other posters. that nudity does not equal pedophilia

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LovelyDayz
by on Sep. 23, 2012 at 10:06 AM

I shower with my daughters, and that's to save time lol. If he was in a rush and needed things done. I don't think there is a problem. But others might think so, so it should be a cut off age. Cause she will tell somebody and they might try to investegate or something.

Bookwormy
by Platinum Member on Sep. 23, 2012 at 10:08 AM
2 moms liked this
I came across as pretty judgemental & shouldn't. But here's the biggest problem I have with calling our reproductive anatomy "junk", especially if we have children. It isn't so much about the technical or scientific names. Its about teaching children that these parts of their body are "bad", garbage, etc. Junk is stuff we don't value.

Sorry for my judgemental attitude.


Quoting gilbertgrl627:

That's what I call it. Does it matter? My kids know (or will know) what the "technical" names are, but we call it junk. DH and I didn't start to until after we had kids, but even if they're not around, that's what we end up calling it. "Junk" is what we call our privates- boy and girl. Oh, and I'm 31 (DH is 32) and referring to it as "junk" has nothing to do with discomfort with human anatomy..


Quoting Bookwormy:

"Junk"? How old are you now? Can't you call it a penis as an adult? Does your DH have junk? How about any DSs?



Discomfort with human anatomy is a much bigger problem than the original post, imho.





Quoting jshalas89:

When they start remembering. So about 4 no later. 5 is way too old. I remember seeing my dads, ugh..junk and that just disgusts me now. I was about 5.




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desertlvn
by Silver Member on Sep. 23, 2012 at 10:31 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm fine with it at any age. So long as everyone feels comfortable with it. Unfortunately, I stopped feeling comfortable with my DD showering with her dad at about 5. Simply because her face was right at penis level. It didn't sit right with me.  

Lizardannie1966
by on Sep. 23, 2012 at 10:47 AM
1 mom liked this

Nothing wrong with nudity.

But then again, I've never believed that one automatically qualifies as a prude if they're not comfortable sharing their naked body with others.

As for the question, I would suppose it would depend on the comfort level of both the father and the daughter.

My two girls stopped showering with their father at around 2-years old. It was simply (again) a matter of comfort level. We've always taught our kids about the beauty of the human body. However, there is a level of respect that shouldn't be crossed if someone is not comfortable within a family in sharing a shower, for example.

bellawomen
by Bronze Member on Sep. 23, 2012 at 10:48 AM
1 mom liked this
I honestly can understand that because I was brutally and violently raped from age 10 until 15 by my mom's boyfriend (she knew and aided him). To be more specific, he very very rarely let me shower alone. We couldn't have a bathroom door shut and had just a clear liner as a curtain. He would watch me and masturbate, tell me how to shower, wash, shave, etc. Trust me this man tortured me.

But at some point you ( general you not specific you) have to decide whether you are going to continue to let that person still control your life an further victimize you. It took me MANY years of counseling to get that, but I finally get it. I am a very protective mom and will do whatever I can to protect him, but showering with his dad or me won't traumatize him. You cannot put your fears on your child or you will only pass on your trauma.


Quoting Whaaaaaa....O.o:

[quote name="LindaClement" id="0"]

I have never believed in 'the number of times the earth revolves around the sun means _____' so I have no magic age when it's 'inappropriate'

A man who's screwing his 4mo should not be showering with him. A man who is not screwing his children... something else.

I think it's totally disgusting, how many people automatically think 'nudity = pedophile' and I think it say a LOT about the inside of their own heads that they probably don't want anyone else knowing about.

[/quote



Or.....they have had something traumatic happen in their lives and they are extra protective.
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desertlvn
by Silver Member on Sep. 23, 2012 at 10:54 AM
3 moms liked this

 

Bravo! Only a person who has done a lot of work would be able to come to that end conclusion. Thank you for your post.

Quoting bellawomen:

I honestly can understand that because I was brutally and violently raped from age 10 until 15 by my mom's boyfriend (she knew and aided him). To be more specific, he very very rarely let me shower alone. We couldn't have a bathroom door shut and had just a clear liner as a curtain. He would watch me and masturbate, tell me how to shower, wash, shave, etc. Trust me this man tortured me.

But at some point you ( general you not specific you) have to decide whether you are going to continue to let that person still control your life an further victimize you. It took me MANY years of counseling to get that, but I finally get it. I am a very protective mom and will do whatever I can to protect him, but showering with his dad or me won't traumatize him. You cannot put your fears on your child or you will only pass on your trauma.


Quoting Whaaaaaa....O.o:

[quote name="LindaClement" id="0"]

I have never believed in 'the number of times the earth revolves around the sun means _____' so I have no magic age when it's 'inappropriate'

A man who's screwing his 4mo should not be showering with him. A man who is not screwing his children... something else.

I think it's totally disgusting, how many people automatically think 'nudity = pedophile' and I think it say a LOT about the inside of their own heads that they probably don't want anyone else knowing about.

[/quote



Or.....they have had something traumatic happen in their lives and they are extra protective.


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