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Unwanted Children...What is YOUR solution?

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So we dont' want easy access to birth control and Plan B because it 'encourages' unsafe sex and many want to outlaw abortion. We have proven time and time again that you cannot legislate morality and sexual conduct to those who don't subscribe to your personal set of values. I anticipate a major baby boom soon. 

What should happen to all of these extra unwanted children and how will we be addressing the social issues they bring:

http://www.ehow.com/facts_5556524_effects-unwanted-pregnancy.html

Health Problems

  • Both Russo and David and the National Campaign state that often women who face an unwanted pregnancy do not get prenatal care, putting their baby at risk for a premature birth, low birth weight, or other neurological disorders.

Single Families

  • Women must often raise the unwanted child by themselves, working a low-paying job, and the child may be forced to live below the poverty line. The mother may take her stress out on the child and start the cycle of child abuse.

Cognitive Issues

  • Children born to unprepared mothers may suffer academically as well. Since they live in poor neighborhoods, and their mother is always working and not spending time interacting with them, children may learn the alphabet or their numbers significantly later.

Behavior

  • According to Russo and David, unwanted children may suffer from low self-esteem during their childhood, and later act out their frustrations by turning to criminal behavior.



 Sexy If its unladylike, fattening or fun, I'm in!
  

by on Oct. 1, 2012 at 8:16 PM
Replies (171-180):
kailu1835
by Ruby Member on Oct. 2, 2012 at 1:12 PM

Even stretching it to make it 90% affective, instead of 95%, that is still only 5-10% of pregnancies because of failed birth control.  So that other 90-95% of people getting pregnant are doing so because they weren't using birth control.

Quoting LindaClement:

I don't live in the world where any birth control method is 100% effective.

Do you?

Quoting kailu1835:

Then maybe she shouldn't have had unprotected sex in the first place.  It is time for people to step up and face the consequences for their actions.

Quoting GoddessNDaRuff:

The things folks love to forget in thesen convos are what if she doesn't want to be pregnant period? An adoption plan isn't going to save her from that. How are you going to persuade her to take proper care of herself while pregnant so the child can be placed and not have a bunch of issues? Then the father of the baby can veto the adoption. Or after carrying the baby what if she changes her mind or just decides eff it she went through all of that she may as well keep it? or if her family is vehemently against adoption so placing the child will put her in a bad spot? You can't force folks to go along with adoption.

I do agree it needs to be easier and cheaper to adopt. A lot more folks would do it and maybe some of these older kids would get homes. Instad trying to convince folks to place newborns folks should put that energy into trying to persuade adoptive parents to look at older children to adopt.

(all yous are general)

Quoting kailu1835:

I hear a lot of whining here about moms who shouldn't have to take personal responsibility for having unprotected sex, of which the vast majority of all pregnancies are the result of.

My solution?  Make it a HECK of a lot easier to adopt children.  There is absolutely no shortage of homes that want to adopt.  They just aren't willing to jump through the many, MANY unreasonable hoops they have to go through to adopt in this country, when they can very easily go to another country.  These moms and dads are not even remotely picky.  They want a child, any child.  It is the state rules that keep these parents from being allowed to adopt.





babiesbabybaby development

thecoffeefairy
by Bronze Member on Oct. 2, 2012 at 1:12 PM
I agree. It is one reason I am pro choice. I had a very close friend who had an abortion. She was a sweet, free loving hippie with a son. She lived at home with her mom. She had a low wage job and made clothes to help supplement her income. She used birth control pills but skipped a day. She got pregnant and her boyfriend ditched her. She was calm and asked him to help pay for abortion since he refused to help raise a child. He finally did so. He drove her to the clinic and refused to see her after. I ran into him a month later and he was cracking jokes about how she was crying after. Abortion is a hard choice. There is no easy way out. I watched her and helped her through her decision. She felt it was best but sometimes doing the right thing is damned hard.



Quoting FromAtoZ:

Adoption is a viable option....for the mother.  Not necessarily for the child.  Far too many children grow up in the system, coming out of it with more issues than any of us probably realize.

We cannot force people to adopt.  We cannot force people to adopt THAT child versus what they have in mind for their 'family'.  If more people where willing to adopt a child for the sake of having a child, there would not be so many children, of all ages, within the foster care system.

Adoption is not the answer.

Holding that aspirin between your legs is not the answer.  People refraining from having sex, or at least women, men get a pass, is not the answer.

There is no 'answer'.  

Not one that we can force on to another.  No matter how badly we may believe X, Y or Z is the best way to go, what one should do, we cannot force every one to do so.

Prevention works for many and well, some times it fails and then there are those who simply do not take that in to account, for whatever their reasons are.  We can think what we will of them and their actions and choices but we cannot force them to do a damn thing they aren't going to do or willing to do.

I hate the idea of abortion, more so for those who do use it as a form of birth control.  But I would much rather leave this option available, in a legal and safe manner, than what will be the consequences.  

Reality isn't always pretty and it isn't always something we want to think about.  But it is what it is.  

Safe is better than not safe, even if you (general) feel every woman seeking an abortion or the Plan B pill, should suffer for their choice to be 'irresponsible',  Often times, they are not the one who suffers the most.


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EireLass
by Ruby Member on Oct. 2, 2012 at 2:01 PM

Alot of times it's hard to locate those damn rapists for a signature once you find out you're pregnant.

Quoting rayroe2:

 I don't agree with the women having the final say, yes she is carrying the baby but if she agreed to unprotected sex and so did the guy. Then your chance for getting pregnant are high so maybe the father wants the child and to raise it but the women killed it because she didn't want it. So therefore both parties should have to sign that they agree to kill this unborn child. I don't want to write a long paragraph but this is my thought on because I am pro-life but other aren't so they would find ways. so why not just have a unit at the hospital where a doctor preforms it does it the legit way and follows threw on procures but the twist would be that the father and mother both have to sign an agreement stating that,  I will get on birth control ya da ya da FATHER NAME and MOTHER NAME agree that they can not and do not want to bare this child. therefore giving us the go ahead to abort the fetus. something like that. If both parties aren'tthere they the women needs to give the name or info about her the person who raped her. A lot of times the mother wants it or the father doesn't so he makes her kill it or the father wants it but the mother kills it so it was never a unwanted child. It is just wishful thinking . I just cant stand women that use abortion has protection like if you don't want kids find other ways to stop that.

Quoting Woodbabe:

Who should sign what? I don't understand...

Quoting rayroe2:

 I am pro life but I don't think taking away protection is a good idea, thing is you should have to go to a doctor to get it done not at some clinic that doesnt have much guidlines and both parties should have to sign, and if a women was raped she needs to report who raped her because 6 out of 10 times it is someone you know.


EireLass
by Ruby Member on Oct. 2, 2012 at 2:02 PM

Why?

Quoting rayroe2:

 I just said abortion shouldn't be allowed at a clinic.

Quoting OneToughMami:

No I think women should have access to clinics that provide birth control as they also provide std screening, Pap smears, cancer screening, mammograms...you know over all women's health on a sliding pay scale. My sil can't afford insurance and since she's not married yet her fiancé can't pu her on his insurance only their daughter...she needs places that she can pay what she can afford right now.

Quoting rayroe2:

 I am pro life but I don't think taking away protection is a good idea, thing is you should have to go to a doctor to get it done not at some clinic that doesnt have much guidlines and both parties should have to sign, and if a women was raped she needs to report who raped her because 6 out of 10 times it is someone you know.

Quoting OneToughMami:Quoting rayroe2:

Send them to china.............

M I am a big fan of easy access to birth control though...but I sure hope the Pro-Life Republicans plan on adopting a few chil'ren
Woodbabe
by Woodie on Oct. 2, 2012 at 2:56 PM

Cutting the quote trees makes it easier to read the posts. I just leave the relevent parts to what I'm discussing. Or at least trying to. And I ever called you or anyone else an idiot.

Quoting furbabymum:

 I enjoy how you delete things and take things out of context to make the writer look bad. As you know, I was talking about a particular group of women. That part you did not quote. As for your comment about everyone else, well as I said, there are bad guys out there and then there are stupid women. I would never claim all single mothers are crack whores. Only an idiot would do that. I'm not an idiot.

Quoting Woodbabe:

My comment about women falling for 'sweet talkers' and your response lol 

There are so many women in this country that really don't have 100% reproductive control over their own bodies, and everyone likes to pretend they don't exist, it seems like.

Quoting furbabymum:

 How the hell did you get this out of what I said?


Quoting furbabymum:

 These women are a whole different animal actually. Crack whores. Sleeping with a drug dealer so they can get free fixes. SOOOOOOOOOOOO, yeah.

I understand there are bad men out there with horrid power over women. I also understand that there are women out there who are lacking in the brains department. How many times have you read about a guy on CM and you wondered WHY this woman even looked twice at them. I've had my fair share of offers and attempted intimidation. I've never been stupid enough to accept.

 


 


 Sexy If its unladylike, fattening or fun, I'm in!
  

Woodbabe
by Woodie on Oct. 2, 2012 at 2:59 PM

I don't think its fair to the child to be forced to be born unwanted, seen merely as a 'consequence'. Statistically he will be behind in school and probably engage in criminal behavior. I think the child suffers far more than the mother that bore him. Sounds more like punishing the child for the sins of the mother.

Quoting kailu1835:

Then maybe she shouldn't have had unprotected sex in the first place.  It is time for people to step up and face the consequences for their actions.

 Sexy If its unladylike, fattening or fun, I'm in!
  

Woodbabe
by Woodie on Oct. 2, 2012 at 3:08 PM

I agree with you, but if you take emotion out of it and look at the numbers, it is far cheaper in the long run to provide free birth control to anyone who wants it and in the way that works best for the individual because of the decline in unwanted births. Statistically they occur much more frequently to families that are undereducated and underemployed, so the actual burden falls back on the taxpayers to support these children. An additional benefit to birth control being free, the more expensive and effective methods are then available to those wouldn't be able to afford them otherwise. And honestly, the rich can afford their own, the poor already get it for free and its the middle class that gets hosed. They can't afford insurance but make too much for the free stuff. Or they have insurance that may not want to cover it. There is no easy answer. :)

Quoting Lizardannie1966:

France is doing this at the expense of their Social Security system, a system that OUR country is in dire need of overhauling to begin with. This, IMO, would not work here.

It's not about access to birth control. It's about access to FREE birth control, and I don't believe that all women should have that free access IF they can afford to pay for birth control to begin with.

If they're financially able to pay for it, why shouldn't they? Why shouldn't they be asked to make birth control a financial responsibility and priority on their part if they're able to pay for it?

And then again, even if birth control were to become af free resource for all women, it's still up to the individual woman to be responsible and find a bc option that works for her.

Without that, we'll always have those unwanted pregnancies.

 Sexy If its unladylike, fattening or fun, I'm in!
  

furbabymum
by Gold Member on Oct. 2, 2012 at 3:10 PM

 In red was specifically discussing someone who got 13 women pregnant and ended up in jail. This would be obvious if you had not cut the part of the conversation out where I was talking about him. You then tried to use it to say I call all women crack whores???

Whatevs.

Quoting Woodbabe:

Cutting the quote trees makes it easier to read the posts. I just leave the relevent parts to what I'm discussing. Or at least trying to. And I ever called you or anyone else an idiot.

Quoting furbabymum:

 I enjoy how you delete things and take things out of context to make the writer look bad. As you know, I was talking about a particular group of women. That part you did not quote. As for your comment about everyone else, well as I said, there are bad guys out there and then there are stupid women. I would never claim all single mothers are crack whores. Only an idiot would do that. I'm not an idiot.

Quoting Woodbabe:

My comment about women falling for 'sweet talkers' and your response lol 

There are so many women in this country that really don't have 100% reproductive control over their own bodies, and everyone likes to pretend they don't exist, it seems like.

Quoting furbabymum:

 How the hell did you get this out of what I said?


Quoting furbabymum:

 These women are a whole different animal actually. Crack whores. Sleeping with a drug dealer so they can get free fixes. SOOOOOOOOOOOO, yeah.

I understand there are bad men out there with horrid power over women. I also understand that there are women out there who are lacking in the brains department. How many times have you read about a guy on CM and you wondered WHY this woman even looked twice at them. I've had my fair share of offers and attempted intimidation. I've never been stupid enough to accept.

 


 


 

kailu1835
by Ruby Member on Oct. 2, 2012 at 3:20 PM

Children adopted into good loving homes that want them suffer no such consequences.

Quoting Woodbabe:

I don't think its fair to the child to be forced to be born unwanted, seen merely as a 'consequence'. Statistically he will be behind in school and probably engage in criminal behavior. I think the child suffers far more than the mother that bore him. Sounds more like punishing the child for the sins of the mother.

Quoting kailu1835:

Then maybe she shouldn't have had unprotected sex in the first place.  It is time for people to step up and face the consequences for their actions.


babiesbabybaby development

Lizardannie1966
by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 4:45 PM

I have a hunch Woodie, that should this actually come to pass--free bc for all--that the more expensive methods will not be what's available. That they'll actually allow for only certain types or forms to be the freebies while the other, more reliable sources will not be. Kind of like getting the generic form of a medication versus the name brand.

Just call it a guess and based on other government freebies. It's cheaper on THEIR end and the pharmaceutical companies can still get their fair share of monies from the more expensive forms.

Quoting Woodbabe:

I agree with you, but if you take emotion out of it and look at the numbers, it is far cheaper in the long run to provide free birth control to anyone who wants it and in the way that works best for the individual because of the decline in unwanted births. Statistically they occur much more frequently to families that are undereducated and underemployed, so the actual burden falls back on the taxpayers to support these children. An additional benefit to birth control being free, the more expensive and effective methods are then available to those wouldn't be able to afford them otherwise. And honestly, the rich can afford their own, the poor already get it for free and its the middle class that gets hosed. They can't afford insurance but make too much for the free stuff. Or they have insurance that may not want to cover it. There is no easy answer. :)

Quoting Lizardannie1966:

France is doing this at the expense of their Social Security system, a system that OUR country is in dire need of overhauling to begin with. This, IMO, would not work here.

It's not about access to birth control. It's about access to FREE birth control, and I don't believe that all women should have that free access IF they can afford to pay for birth control to begin with.

If they're financially able to pay for it, why shouldn't they? Why shouldn't they be asked to make birth control a financial responsibility and priority on their part if they're able to pay for it?

And then again, even if birth control were to become af free resource for all women, it's still up to the individual woman to be responsible and find a bc option that works for her.

Without that, we'll always have those unwanted pregnancies.


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