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Current Events & Hot Topics Current Events & Hot Topics

Unwanted Children...What is YOUR solution?

Posted by   + Show Post

So we dont' want easy access to birth control and Plan B because it 'encourages' unsafe sex and many want to outlaw abortion. We have proven time and time again that you cannot legislate morality and sexual conduct to those who don't subscribe to your personal set of values. I anticipate a major baby boom soon. 

What should happen to all of these extra unwanted children and how will we be addressing the social issues they bring:

http://www.ehow.com/facts_5556524_effects-unwanted-pregnancy.html

Health Problems

  • Both Russo and David and the National Campaign state that often women who face an unwanted pregnancy do not get prenatal care, putting their baby at risk for a premature birth, low birth weight, or other neurological disorders.

Single Families

  • Women must often raise the unwanted child by themselves, working a low-paying job, and the child may be forced to live below the poverty line. The mother may take her stress out on the child and start the cycle of child abuse.

Cognitive Issues

  • Children born to unprepared mothers may suffer academically as well. Since they live in poor neighborhoods, and their mother is always working and not spending time interacting with them, children may learn the alphabet or their numbers significantly later.

Behavior

  • According to Russo and David, unwanted children may suffer from low self-esteem during their childhood, and later act out their frustrations by turning to criminal behavior.



 Sexy If its unladylike, fattening or fun, I'm in!
  

by on Oct. 1, 2012 at 8:16 PM
Replies (211-220):
onethentwins
by Bronze Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 8:41 PM

You've obviously never set in an adoptee support group. I'll bet you didn't even know adoptee support groups even exist.

Quoting kailu1835:

Children adopted into good loving homes that want them suffer no such consequences.

Quoting Woodbabe:

I don't think its fair to the child to be forced to be born unwanted, seen merely as a 'consequence'. Statistically he will be behind in school and probably engage in criminal behavior. I think the child suffers far more than the mother that bore him. Sounds more like punishing the child for the sins of the mother.

Quoting kailu1835:

Then maybe she shouldn't have had unprotected sex in the first place.  It is time for people to step up and face the consequences for their actions.



onethentwins
by Bronze Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 8:53 PM


Quoting stefvan:

 Easy access to birth control?  You mean the government should have to pay so people can be promiscuous?

My solution - be reponsible.  If you don't want to get pregnant, don't have sex without protection.  If you do get pregnant, be responsible and raise your child.

In other works, suck it up buttercup and grow the hell up!

That's a great idea. Now what's your solution for global warming?

onethentwins
by Bronze Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 9:03 PM
1 mom liked this

And by that you mean give their children to infertile couples? How about stepping up and raising their own children?

Quoting kailu1835:

Then maybe she shouldn't have had unprotected sex in the first place.  It is time for people to step up and face the consequences for their actions.


stefvan
by Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 9:20 PM

 

Quoting onethentwins:

 

Quoting stefvan:

 Easy access to birth control?  You mean the government should have to pay so people can be promiscuous?

My solution - be reponsible.  If you don't want to get pregnant, don't have sex without protection.  If you do get pregnant, be responsible and raise your child.

In other works, suck it up buttercup and grow the hell up!

That's a great idea. Now what's your solution for global warming?

 Considering the earth's core temp has gone up .7 degrees in over 50 years, I don't worry with, or believe, in global warming. 




 



onethentwins
by Bronze Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 9:24 PM

LOL. I knew you wouldn't. Must be nice to life in your simplistic world.

Quoting stefvan:

 

Quoting onethentwins:


Quoting stefvan:

 Easy access to birth control?  You mean the government should have to pay so people can be promiscuous?

My solution - be reponsible.  If you don't want to get pregnant, don't have sex without protection.  If you do get pregnant, be responsible and raise your child.

In other works, suck it up buttercup and grow the hell up!

That's a great idea. Now what's your solution for global warming?

 Considering the earth's core temp has gone up .7 degrees in over 50 years, I don't worry with, or believe, in global warming. 


stefvan
by Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 9:40 PM

 You know nothing about my life.  But, it's great because I've made good choices.  Funny how that works.

Quoting onethentwins:

LOL. I knew you wouldn't. Must be nice to life in your simplistic world.




 



mommajen32
by Platinum Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 11:34 PM

The foster care system changed and IMO not for the better ... there is a working theory now that they must try their damnest to get mom and child reunited almost by any means necessary. The by-product is that there are kids that bounce from mom to foster care over and over b/c the state will not take custody and keeps giving mom "chances" ...meanwhile the child is getting older (and developing more issues). The older the child the harder it is to have them adopted out. And then more kids are added to the mix and you have sibling groups which makes it even harder to adopt out. It's a mess.

There are a lot of couples that want to foster-to-adopt but they do not want to go through the myriad (up to 2 years in Ohio) of meeting with mom ..and then have that child for up to 2 years and know that you could get a call at any moment and w/in 24 hours that child is gone - forever. Most kids in foster care have not had the parental rights taken away completely so typically you just have to take that risk that the child may have to go back. Most that are up for adoption are older, babies and young toddlers are few and far between. We just went through this process but as y'all know God had a different plan and we had 2 kids naturally (we may go through this process again in the future). 

The private adoption "market" is ridiculously expensive and normal families (mine being one) cannot afford to adopt b/c of the legal fees, paying the costs for mom, and so on - average of about $10k. And the cost isn't much lower for newborn or very young babies of color (which is what we were going for). And you still take the risk that mom can change her mind up to several days after the baby is born, that happened to 2 couples I know and one of them it happened 3 times. So sad. That's my rant on adoption as one that was once deemed infertile and walked this path :)

onethentwins
by Bronze Member on Oct. 4, 2012 at 1:10 AM

 

Quoting mommajen32:

 

There are a lot of couples that want to foster-to-adopt but they do not want to go through the myriad (up to 2 years in Ohio) of meeting with mom ..and then have that child for up to 2 years and know that you could get a call at any moment and w/in 24 hours that child is gone - forever. Most kids in foster care have not had the parental rights taken away completely so typically you just have to take that risk that the child may have to go back. Most that are up for adoption are older, babies and young toddlers are few and far between. We just went through this process but as y'all know God had a different plan and we had 2 kids naturally (we may go through this process again in the future). 

The private adoption "market" is ridiculously expensive and normal families (mine being one) cannot afford to adopt b/c of the legal fees, paying the costs for mom, and so on - average of about $10k. And the cost isn't much lower for newborn or very young babies of color (which is what we were going for). And you still take the risk that mom can change her mind up to several days after the baby is born, that happened to 2 couples I know and one of them it happened 3 times. So sad. That's my rant on adoption as one that was once deemed infertile and walked this path :)

"So sad' is right! "Market" is right!

Legally a mom cannot choose to give up her baby for adoption because giving up a baby that is safe in her womb is abstract, an entirely different thing than giving up her baby that is living and breathing and has looked lovingly into her eyes. The law recognises this. This is why when the child is born she isn't "changing her mind" she's choosing to parent.

The really sad part is that the prospective adoptive parent has already committed to paying her maternity expenses which by law has to be considered a gift so when she chooses to parent the they are SOL. As you point out this can happen to a couple over and over again. The adoption agency bears none of the risk. Pre-birth matching has to stop!!!

The reason that the Adoption Industry wont stop this practice is that it's win/win for them. Very often a mother that is considering adoption who wants to choose to parent feels she cannot because she feels that she has already promised a couple her baby and feel terrible about disappointing them. In which case the agency collects it's fees. If the mom decides to parent her baby, the prospective adoptive parents are the ones to cover her expenses and the agency have lost nothing.

The non-sad part about the secario you have described is that a family has been preseved. A child didn't lose its mother/family and a mother/family didn't lose the child; That's the joyful part. It only sucks for the prospective adoptive parents who's hopes have been dashed and it's bank account emptied.

BTW, $10k is cheap. Many couples pay in excess of $40k.

6AM
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 1:18 AM

Reading Johnathan Swift are we?

Quoting Tanya93-:

Make them into dinner, gloves, and shoes.


Redwall
by Silver Member on Oct. 4, 2012 at 7:43 PM

My husband and I tried for years to adopt.  We were willing to take a handicapped child, a child of a race that was different that ours...all we got was excuses...my husband was Catholic, I was Lutheran...we'd not been married long enough, my husband didn't make enough money, I had a bird that could possibly bite a child.  It would have been WAY easier to adopt a foreign child.  I stand by my first though...If you can'd afford a child, don't have one.,

Quoting Sekirei:


Quoting Redwall:

If you don't want kids and can't afford them, use birth control or don't have sex...it seems so simple to me.  If you get pregnant and don't want the baby, in the US there's a shortage of babies for adoption.

so..only the babies should be adopted..

there is no shortage of children who need homes... there are people waiting in line to adopt.. but, either the children are too old, not the right color, sick, or handicapped, they are not wanted. Let's get them homes first, shall we?


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