Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Current Events & Hot Topics Current Events & Hot Topics

Unwanted Children...What is YOUR solution?

Posted by   + Show Post

So we dont' want easy access to birth control and Plan B because it 'encourages' unsafe sex and many want to outlaw abortion. We have proven time and time again that you cannot legislate morality and sexual conduct to those who don't subscribe to your personal set of values. I anticipate a major baby boom soon. 

What should happen to all of these extra unwanted children and how will we be addressing the social issues they bring:

http://www.ehow.com/facts_5556524_effects-unwanted-pregnancy.html

Health Problems

  • Both Russo and David and the National Campaign state that often women who face an unwanted pregnancy do not get prenatal care, putting their baby at risk for a premature birth, low birth weight, or other neurological disorders.

Single Families

  • Women must often raise the unwanted child by themselves, working a low-paying job, and the child may be forced to live below the poverty line. The mother may take her stress out on the child and start the cycle of child abuse.

Cognitive Issues

  • Children born to unprepared mothers may suffer academically as well. Since they live in poor neighborhoods, and their mother is always working and not spending time interacting with them, children may learn the alphabet or their numbers significantly later.

Behavior

  • According to Russo and David, unwanted children may suffer from low self-esteem during their childhood, and later act out their frustrations by turning to criminal behavior.



 Sexy If its unladylike, fattening or fun, I'm in!
  

by on Oct. 1, 2012 at 8:16 PM
Replies (41-50):
celestegood
by Silver Member on Oct. 1, 2012 at 9:10 PM

 bump

MyJaidonreturns
by Bronze Member on Oct. 1, 2012 at 9:11 PM
2 moms liked this
Of course because my body knows how to reject the sperm of a rapist. They swim around with a big red "A" on their chest. That "A" stands for "abort mission".


Quoting NWP:

You weren't really raped if your body let you get pregnant. Liar. Whore. :(

Quoting MyJaidonreturns:

Yea sounds about right. Then contact your rapist for financial help. You may get some state funding, IF you can prove you were 'legitimately' raped, and not just being naughty naughty.





Quoting Woodbabe:


Quoting MyJaidonreturns:

Dont have kids you cant afford. Dont have sex. Wear metal chastity panties and ignore the opposite sex all together.





^^i dont agree with any of that, I just wanted to beat the morally superior and self righteous moms :-)

Keep yer legs together and if you're raped, it must be God's plan?





Posted on CafeMom Mobile
NWP
by guerrilla girl on Oct. 1, 2012 at 9:12 PM

I would not make a child or girl write about that experience. Why? What does it really prove? Why not just leave this between the girl and God?

Quoting jhslove:

While this might be left open to being taken advantage of, I think the most fair way to do it would be for a women to be able to access abortion simply by submitting a written statement saying that she was raped. I know that some would falsely use that to get an abortion, but I'd rather have that than rape victims, particularly underage rape victims, being forced to carry and give birth to a child because their rape didn't meet certain standards or wasn't reported within a certain time frame.

Quoting Woodbabe:

While I'm not really a huge fan of abortion, I'm even more against anyone else having the right to make these kinds of decisions for a woman. I'd rather see easy access to birth control, sterilization and Plan B to reduce the need for abortions to begin with. Having to prove your rape was 'violent enough' is way too demeaning to a woman, when she's at her most fragile.

Quoting jhslove:

In terms of rape, I don't know how that would be enforced. It's a sticking point--would you require witnesses? A medical exam? Would you have to have filed a police report at the time of the rape? I just don't really know, unfortunately.

I know, it's terrible that kids with special needs and kids of color have such a hard time being adopted. I don't have any real answers for that, either.    :(



New World Peace

Tanya93-
by on Oct. 1, 2012 at 9:13 PM
2 moms liked this

Just curious because I grew up in an incredibly pro-life, dogooder home.  My parents had 17 foster kids over a period of 20 years until my mother developed breast cancer.

I find many people complain about the prolifers never taking in these kids and something needs to be done for them, but aren't willing to bring one of these children, especially the heavily special needs kids, into their homes.

Quoting NWP:

Yes.  I know what I am talking about. I will not share my personal story here because it is personal. People here who disagree with you will..let's just say it isn't a safe place for real personal information to be shared. If you were my friend, we could talk in person about it.

But I am pro-choice. I do not spend my money and time marching with signs in front of planned parenthood harassing women in difficult situations. It isn't the battle I have chosen.

But it is the one the pro-life movement has chosen. 

They do not care for the children. Only the unborn. They have the money and the organization to take in every single child in foster care in need. But they do not. 

Quoting Tanya93-:

Have you taken one in?

Quoting NWP:

I hear this answer all the time. It does not answer the question about what to do with all these unwanted children. Thousands are sitting in foster care and group homes right now wanting a forever home. But most will never find one in their childhood.

Quoting Tanya93-:

Because people want babies they can raise and nurture from early on.

Quoting Woodbabe:


Quoting toomanypoodles:

 I don't believe a child is ever truly unwanted.  Just cuz the birth mother doesn't want the child doesn't mean there isn't a barren woman out there that would desperately love to adopt that child.  People seeking adoption WILL take a "broken" child--just to hold a child. 

Adoption needs to be the norm, not abortion, or letting a kid go unloved and not taken care of cuz it's not what the parent wanted. 

So the poor should be breeders for the rich folk that can afford to pay for white babies?

I don't know what state you're in, but the vast majority have so many special needs children (those with medical issues, siblings or are non-white) that not only are they free, the state will pay YOU until they're 18. Yet every state has thousands of these kids stuck in the foster care system. Why aren't THEY being snatched up into loving arms of forever homes? 







NWP
by guerrilla girl on Oct. 1, 2012 at 9:14 PM
1 mom liked this

The world needs more yous.

Quoting one.eye.sky:

i don't know what to do about that. the ideal situation would be instead of women getting fertility treatmeants or adopting infants, that they would adopt these children instead, but, alas, what they want is what matters, so these kids will have to be systemed out

sad but true. i've adopted older children before, i have adopted a three year old and his six year old brother. they are now five and eight and thriving.

Quoting NWP:

I hear this answer all the time. It does not answer the question about what to do with all these unwanted children. Thousands are sitting in foster care and group homes right now wanting a forever home. But most will never find one in their childhood.

Quoting Tanya93-:

Because people want babies they can raise and nurture from early on.

Quoting Woodbabe:


Quoting toomanypoodles:

 I don't believe a child is ever truly unwanted.  Just cuz the birth mother doesn't want the child doesn't mean there isn't a barren woman out there that would desperately love to adopt that child.  People seeking adoption WILL take a "broken" child--just to hold a child. 

Adoption needs to be the norm, not abortion, or letting a kid go unloved and not taken care of cuz it's not what the parent wanted. 

So the poor should be breeders for the rich folk that can afford to pay for white babies?

I don't know what state you're in, but the vast majority have so many special needs children (those with medical issues, siblings or are non-white) that not only are they free, the state will pay YOU until they're 18. Yet every state has thousands of these kids stuck in the foster care system. Why aren't THEY being snatched up into loving arms of forever homes? 






New World Peace

SEEKEROFSHELLS
by Platinum Member on Oct. 1, 2012 at 9:15 PM
2 moms liked this


Quoting Woodbabe:


Quoting jhslove:

I think that birth control and Plan B should be available without a co-pay as part of health insurance benefits and that contraception should be taught about and easy to get. Abstinence-based sex ed is an unmitigated disaster--we HAVE TO teach kids about how to protect themselves against pregnancy and STDs. To me, this seems to be one of the easiest ways to prevent abortion--by preventing unwanted pregnancies in the first place.

I think that abortion should be safe, legal, and much more rare than it is. Personally, I do NOT believe that it should be allowed to be used as a form of retroactive birth control, but that's just me. I think abortion SHOULD be allowed in all cases of rape, incest, or in any situation where a physician determines that the life or health of the mother is at risk.

In terms of a solution to unwanted pregnancy, to me it seems pretty simple. My older sister and I are both adopted, and there are so many families out there who want to adopt children. I've honestly never understood the viewpoint that a woman who becomes pregnant is forced to raise a child she's not prepared to raise--adoption is an extremely viable option and not only does the baby get a chance at life, but a family that wants a child can have one to raise.

I'm adopted as well, but the problem is that if the child isn't a white infant without special needs, the demand is very low. The foster care system is so overrun with special needs kids and those who are not white (sadly) that they can not only be adopted for free, you get a stipend in most states until they're 18. Yet they still sit in foster care...

And I wholeheartedly agree with you on most of the rest of this. Do you think an abortion should be 'approved' by someone else, making sure it falls under the guise of "rape or incest" before the woman is allowed to terminate? Does she have to present her case before a panel of other people to be judged, or what?

 Interestingly there is a national data base for people wanting to adopt a child with Downs Syndrome. There is a waiting list of over 150 parents. Not all of them want infants either. I once hooked up a social worker in Philly with a social worker in Cinncinatti regarding an infant left at the hospital. Priority is given to those that have had or has a child with Downs Syndrome or perhaps a family member. Had to throw that out there. People are also using Reeces Rainbows to go the international route for children with Downs Syndrome. There can be schlorships provided but my gosh it is an expensive route.

jhslove
by Bronze Member on Oct. 1, 2012 at 9:16 PM

I was thinking more along the lines of just a signature. Not an in-depth description. Just an affidavit or something along those lines stating, "XYZ is seeking termination of a pregnancy resulting from rape". Or maybe she wouldn't even have to give a signature, but could request it verbally. I don't know--I thought this was more of a philosophical discussion, and I don't have any real answers on how my ideal would actually be put into practice.

Like I said, I know that people would probably take advantage of it, but I'd rather have that than a situation where a rape victim is unable to terminate her pregnancy.

I'd like to see a middle ground between "anyone can have as many abortions as they want" and "no one can have an abortion, regardless of the circumstances or risk to her health and wellness". It seems like there should be a reasonable, common-sense medium.

Quoting NWP:

I would not make a child or girl write about that experience. Why? What does it really prove? Why not just leave this between the girl and God?

Quoting jhslove:

While this might be left open to being taken advantage of, I think the most fair way to do it would be for a women to be able to access abortion simply by submitting a written statement saying that she was raped. I know that some would falsely use that to get an abortion, but I'd rather have that than rape victims, particularly underage rape victims, being forced to carry and give birth to a child because their rape didn't meet certain standards or wasn't reported within a certain time frame.

Quoting Woodbabe:

While I'm not really a huge fan of abortion, I'm even more against anyone else having the right to make these kinds of decisions for a woman. I'd rather see easy access to birth control, sterilization and Plan B to reduce the need for abortions to begin with. Having to prove your rape was 'violent enough' is way too demeaning to a woman, when she's at her most fragile.

Quoting jhslove:

In terms of rape, I don't know how that would be enforced. It's a sticking point--would you require witnesses? A medical exam? Would you have to have filed a police report at the time of the rape? I just don't really know, unfortunately.

I know, it's terrible that kids with special needs and kids of color have such a hard time being adopted. I don't have any real answers for that, either.    :(




MyJaidonreturns
by Bronze Member on Oct. 1, 2012 at 9:16 PM
I'm looking for that episode on Netflix now.


Quoting p1r4t3cr0pc1rcl:

 me too! Lol

Unfortunately, Family Guy has a slight hint to some realities of life. 

Quoting MyJaidonreturns:

These topics always make me think of the Family Guy song.





Quoting p1r4t3cr0pc1rcl:





Posted on CafeMom Mobile
NWP
by guerrilla girl on Oct. 1, 2012 at 9:16 PM
1 mom liked this

Then you do know what I mean. Life is complicated and messy. Every one's situation is their own.

Quoting Tanya93-:

Just curious because I grew up in an incredibly pro-life, dogooder home.  My parents had 17 foster kids over a period of 20 years until my mother developed breast cancer.

I find many people complain about the prolifers never taking in these kids and something needs to be done for them, but aren't willing to bring one of these children, especially the heavily special needs kids, into their homes.

Quoting NWP:

Yes.  I know what I am talking about. I will not share my personal story here because it is personal. People here who disagree with you will..let's just say it isn't a safe place for real personal information to be shared. If you were my friend, we could talk in person about it.

But I am pro-choice. I do not spend my money and time marching with signs in front of planned parenthood harassing women in difficult situations. It isn't the battle I have chosen.

But it is the one the pro-life movement has chosen. 

They do not care for the children. Only the unborn. They have the money and the organization to take in every single child in foster care in need. But they do not. 

Quoting Tanya93-:

Have you taken one in?

Quoting NWP:

I hear this answer all the time. It does not answer the question about what to do with all these unwanted children. Thousands are sitting in foster care and group homes right now wanting a forever home. But most will never find one in their childhood.

Quoting Tanya93-:

Because people want babies they can raise and nurture from early on.

Quoting Woodbabe:


Quoting toomanypoodles:

 I don't believe a child is ever truly unwanted.  Just cuz the birth mother doesn't want the child doesn't mean there isn't a barren woman out there that would desperately love to adopt that child.  People seeking adoption WILL take a "broken" child--just to hold a child. 

Adoption needs to be the norm, not abortion, or letting a kid go unloved and not taken care of cuz it's not what the parent wanted. 

So the poor should be breeders for the rich folk that can afford to pay for white babies?

I don't know what state you're in, but the vast majority have so many special needs children (those with medical issues, siblings or are non-white) that not only are they free, the state will pay YOU until they're 18. Yet every state has thousands of these kids stuck in the foster care system. Why aren't THEY being snatched up into loving arms of forever homes? 








New World Peace

toomanypoodles
by Ruby Member on Oct. 1, 2012 at 9:52 PM

 

Quoting NWP:

We think alike on this actually. Unfortunately, this just is not the way most folks think when it actually comes down to time to adopt. They want healthy tiny newborns. There just are not enough saints in the world who are willing to do this or there would be none of these little angels with tough pasts and uncertain futures in foster care and group homes.

Quoting toomanypoodles:

 I don't believe a child is ever truly unwanted.  Just cuz the birth mother doesn't want the child doesn't mean there isn't a barren woman out there that would desperately love to adopt that child.  People seeking adoption WILL take a "broken" child--just to hold a child. 

Adoption needs to be the norm, not abortion, or letting a kid go unloved and not taken care of cuz it's not what the parent wanted. 


 I adopted a three and a five year old from the foster care system---they were not perfect newborns..I wanted children, period.  I would have taken anything---fortunately they've grown to be healthy, beautiful young ladies. 

We need to change the way people think.  I KNOW there are awaiting mamas out there that will take a less than perfect child.  But if adoption was presented more strongly to women seeking an abortion, that abortion should not be their first choice, then perhaps they may look to what is best for the child, rather than their own (sometimes selfish) desires for their lives.   

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)