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If you believe a woman should have her husbands consent before getting an abortion... sfag

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Do you think a woman needs her husbands consent for any other reproductive or pregnancy decision?

How about to get her tubes tied?

What if she wants a natural, no-intervention birth? Do she need his permission?

What if she wants a c-section? Or, flip that. What if he wants her to get a c-section? There are compelling studies showing that c-section is safer for the baby.

Can he forbid an epidural? Or require one?

It's his baby too, right? Doesn't he get the right to say how it is delivered?

by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 6:08 PM
Replies (111-120):
struezel
by Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 9:25 PM
Not permission, though a marriage should have good communication. If you can't discuss these issues with the person you have sex with then you should probably re-evaluate the relationship. I mean, if my husband got a vasectomy without telling me I would feel he didn't trust me enough to discuss it with me, it would feel sneaky, and I would have some pretty big emotional road blocks to get through to repair the trust in the relationship.

Btw...c-section is not better for the baby. It doesn't allow for the transfer of microorganisms that are beneficial for a healthy system. It may be considered safer because it is more controlled, though it is definitely more invasive which comes with the higher chance of complications.
USCGwife
by New Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 9:26 PM
This is a tough one to answer a simple yes or no to...I personally do not think an abortion is ever ok... I'm not trying to start a fight cuz that isn't the question at hand...just a side note...I understand some people believe that's the right choice for them... I think in a marriage both parents need to agree to end the pregnancy. As for a "natural" birth or a c section ...and to Get an epidural or not... I think both parents should discuss the options and why each one feels right or wrong to them but in the end I believe the Mother gets the final say because it is her health and she's the one taking all the pain and going thru labor. My husband and I both made the decision to try to get pregnant each time and we both shared our feelings about labor with each child. But n the end the final decision was mine if I wanted an epidural or not and when I felt like the right time for me to get it during labor.
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rfhsure
by Bronze Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 11:51 PM
1 mom liked this

two sides of the same coin, When a woman deems women who get abortions 'irresponsible', I find it just as sad that they would so readily say they would accept if their husband forced them to keep, just as not to keep a baby. When a woman herself claims that other women shouldn't be allowed to take responsbility for their own actions, it just makes me sad. I think if a woman decides to go through with a pregnancy or adopt it out, it's the fathers right to adopt the baby. But if a woman does not want or isn't ready to go through a pregnancy, that's ust her choice. Women should be respected eough to make their own decisions about their own bodies. However in a marriage I would hope that they had a healthy enough relationship to consult with their husbands about it either way. Saying a man is 'forced' to take responsibility isn't totally fair. It's generalizing to women who choose to keep their babies the same way saying women who abort are irresponsible. I don't think i'm making any sense now I'm just rambling.

Quoting GoddessNDaRuff:


What if your husband asked you have an abortion?

No one ever wants to answer that question. But from my experience it's usually the men demanding, begging, threatening women to get an abortion not begging her to keep the baby. But apparently men like that don't exist in the world of CafeMom. To me it's funny how a woman is villified for having the baby and the father having to support the child and yet she is villified if she chooses to abort. No one ever wants to address the situations where mom wanted to abort but listened to dad and had the baby and he leaves 6 months to a year later because he doesn't like the responsibility of fatherhood or is done with the mother and doesn't think he should have to take care of the kids because he's not with her. And there are women who can vouch for the fact that Husbands can turn into those types of assholes.

Quoting rfhsure:

 The argument that abortion is so wrong and you're murdering a baby is lost on me when a person says, 'well if it's rape then it's fine.' You're either in or your out. I've known people who have gotten pregnant while on birth control, who have had condoms break and use plan B. So you're saying that because they had sex they have to keep a child they don't want, even when acting responsibly? Women don't "force" men to take care of financial responsibility. In this case the woman is asking about a marriage. In a marriage, financial responsiblity has already been worked out between the couple, so especially in this circumstance, that's a statement that's not really relevant. it's a man's right to father his child - if the child is born. There's many cases where the guy will talk himself up and once the baby pops out he turns out to be a deadbeat. personal choice is personal choice. That's great that you would never get an abortion unless you're raped, but if you were in a situation where you still acted responsibly and were about to have a child you couldn't take care of or didn't want to have you may think differently. Just because you wouldn't have an abortion doesn't mean it's wrong for anyone else to have one. And the circumstances you're describing are very general and not applicable to every, if not most situations. Just as you wouldn't want to be forced into an abortion, many women don't want to be forced into carrying a child. That's the one topic the posts author left out: What if your husband asked you have an abortion? that would be terrible wouldn't it? So why should he have rights to ask any of those other things of a woman?



NiCo86
by Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 11:53 PM
delivery? no. abortion? hell yes. two married people consented to sex knowing the pissible ebd result. i disagree with it only being her choice when it is part of two people.
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Chellie13
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 7:32 AM
1 mom liked this

His baby. Her body.  What she says goes.

KRONIKlove
by New Member on Oct. 4, 2012 at 10:08 AM
1 mom liked this
OUR baby, MY body.
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GoddessNDaRuff
by Silver Member on Oct. 4, 2012 at 10:14 AM
1 mom liked this

No you make sense it's the argument that doesn't make sense. Women should be trusted and respected to make decisions for their lives. But apparently women should only do what Men want them to in regards to pregnancy and childbirth because either she's a bitch for having the baby and holding the man accountable for hs child (funny how those "face the consequences" don't think a man should have a consequence to the sex he had but the woman should) or she's a bitch because she aborted damn how bring a child in the world could mess her up.

Quoting rfhsure:

two sides of the same coin, When a woman deems women who get abortions 'irresponsible', I find it just as sad that they would so readily say they would accept if their husband forced them to keep, just as not to keep a baby. When a woman herself claims that other women shouldn't be allowed to take responsbility for their own actions, it just makes me sad. I think if a woman decides to go through with a pregnancy or adopt it out, it's the fathers right to adopt the baby. But if a woman does not want or isn't ready to go through a pregnancy, that's ust her choice. Women should be respected eough to make their own decisions about their own bodies. However in a marriage I would hope that they had a healthy enough relationship to consult with their husbands about it either way. Saying a man is 'forced' to take responsibility isn't totally fair. It's generalizing to women who choose to keep their babies the same way saying women who abort are irresponsible. I don't think i'm making any sense now I'm just rambling.

Quoting GoddessNDaRuff:


What if your husband asked you have an abortion?

No one ever wants to answer that question. But from my experience it's usually the men demanding, begging, threatening women to get an abortion not begging her to keep the baby. But apparently men like that don't exist in the world of CafeMom. To me it's funny how a woman is villified for having the baby and the father having to support the child and yet she is villified if she chooses to abort. No one ever wants to address the situations where mom wanted to abort but listened to dad and had the baby and he leaves 6 months to a year later because he doesn't like the responsibility of fatherhood or is done with the mother and doesn't think he should have to take care of the kids because he's not with her. And there are women who can vouch for the fact that Husbands can turn into those types of assholes.

Quoting rfhsure:

 The argument that abortion is so wrong and you're murdering a baby is lost on me when a person says, 'well if it's rape then it's fine.' You're either in or your out. I've known people who have gotten pregnant while on birth control, who have had condoms break and use plan B. So you're saying that because they had sex they have to keep a child they don't want, even when acting responsibly? Women don't "force" men to take care of financial responsibility. In this case the woman is asking about a marriage. In a marriage, financial responsiblity has already been worked out between the couple, so especially in this circumstance, that's a statement that's not really relevant. it's a man's right to father his child - if the child is born. There's many cases where the guy will talk himself up and once the baby pops out he turns out to be a deadbeat. personal choice is personal choice. That's great that you would never get an abortion unless you're raped, but if you were in a situation where you still acted responsibly and were about to have a child you couldn't take care of or didn't want to have you may think differently. Just because you wouldn't have an abortion doesn't mean it's wrong for anyone else to have one. And the circumstances you're describing are very general and not applicable to every, if not most situations. Just as you wouldn't want to be forced into an abortion, many women don't want to be forced into carrying a child. That's the one topic the posts author left out: What if your husband asked you have an abortion? that would be terrible wouldn't it? So why should he have rights to ask any of those other things of a woman?




sweetmissy_05
by Member on Oct. 4, 2012 at 10:15 AM

No

Woodbabe
by Woodie on Oct. 4, 2012 at 10:54 AM

In a good relationship this subject would be expected to be discussed and mutually agreed upon. In a bad relationship, these types of things are dangerous territory. 

baileymarie723
by Bronze Member on Oct. 4, 2012 at 4:38 PM
I think since it took the choice of both man & wife to have sex and it results in a pregnancy I think any decisions should be throughly discussed before any action is taken. Women get the opportunity to be selfish with the "my body my choice" cop out the man should get to at least say something and really be heard. It's sad that if a man doesn't agree to an abortion the woman can still get one. The baby isn't just hers.
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